(history)

Been dating a girl for a few months now who is a fair bit younger than myself. Im 22. I took her virginity a couple months ago. Things we're kinda magical for a while. I always refer back to this site and always give her witty text responses. In person I try to be a manly man too.

(the conflict)

It's very rare that she will initiate sex. I often have to go to great measures to prime her up. Yesterday night we hadn't seen each other in a while...almost two weeks. I brought her to my gym for a workout, the library to study for school and then my house to make dinner. I took her on "a day in my life" date. When it came to being back at my house we cooked/ate and then she just plopped on my bed and wanted to sleep. I hadn't seen this girl in weeks and I'm not cheating on her(getting sex elsewhere); and she wants to sleep?? She always does shit like this too..puts stress on me to initiate everything. I tried yesterday and she was like "stoppp" lol. Fuck me right? She said she really didn't feel well... She was fine all day though.

I'm not quite sure how to go about this. As always, there's many options. Anyone's opinion is welcome
THANKS

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Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."

It happens, and is probably not that surprising given she is sexually inexperienced and very young. I think just confront her about it.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Give her good sex

2 Fridays ago when I saw her, we went ham on each other. When she left, she thanked me for giving her 3 orgasms. She also says " I should be a pornstar, whatever that means. The quality is great, its the quantity that has me writing here today.

I fear she's getting too comfortable with me, getting lazy and unmotivated to please. I gotta change that around somehow Neo..

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Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."

Can't write much right now but actions are greater than words. If the sex was great she'd be initiating. If she says it is and isn't eager to have it... She's faking.

Lying about sex quality and faking orgasms .. yes.. very common .. however, correlation to great sex and her wanting to have it all the time .. not true.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

2 Fridays ago when I saw her, we went ham on each other. When she left, she thanked me for giving her 3 orgasms. She also says " I should be a pornstar, whatever that means. The quality is great, its the quantity that has me writing here today.
Guys trust me, I know when a girl has an orgasm. The look of "I just got hit with a 4000lbs water wave" is always on her face after and her eyes go glossy. Im 23 and rather experienced. She also tells me its good when I dont ask. She'll randomly make remarks about loving my "size" and my "tongue". Could it be that she just was legitimately not feeling well? or clean? After all she was up since 7am and worked out without changing...Anyway she's been sending me hearts and shit since...im kinda giving her space. She knows she has making up to do.

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Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."

Obviously you know her better than everyone here. But what you are saying doesn't match what most people experience. So she could have been feeling all sorts of ways. More often than not, if a woman loves the sex with you, even if she doesn't initiate it, she won't reject it.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Doesn't sound to me like she's your girlfriend.. But you're acting like it.

1: You need to re-seduce her
2: SHE is cheating on YOU

Agree with Jack. Look, do you think a girl tells the mediocre guys in bed, "that was OK." Girls know how to fake. Girls know how to lie. A one time rejection is minor but if this is recurring then the sex isn't that great. The true measure of whether it's great for her is if she initiates. Or at least doesn't reject. The sex is good when she acts like she misses it.
Of course there could be other factors... Is she exhausted, is she depressed and yes if she is planning to break up she may cut the sex down. If none of these apply then the sex is take it or leave it sex. I think Hunter fox, Hellhound and heywood have some better posts on this but it's simple, if the sex is great her actions will show that.

man im sorry to tell you but it's either 3 things,
1 the sex ain't great
2 she's cheating
3 she's a lesbian and sees you as a good friend

i remember one time a girl told me i was trash in bed (i was 16) so i looked up sooo many articles, soooo many videos, soooooo many books to learn different techniques, couple weeks later i fucked the same girl, made her cum i don't know how many times, and got her to the point where she literally could not get out the bed, that same girl still text/calls me about sex 5 years later

basically im saying 2 things

1 it never hurts to learn new things and to get better at sex or something

2 if sex was really that great, she would pursue you, especially if she isn't that experienced.

women are as sexual if not more sexual than men nowadays

so MAYBE she is a rare girl who doesn't like sex but even if she is it doesn't hurt to learn new things

oh and women do lie about how good the sex was lol

also you might wanna learn how to be more seductive, a good seducer can get almost any girl in the mood man......

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"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."-Alfie

I might need to motivate this.

THe reason why you'd want to reseduce her, is because it's possible that she has slipped into a habit of comfort. The habit of comfort with you, will also drastically reduce her libido.
She needs excitment and emotions. This is what drives her lust up.

Try take her out of a weekend fully planed, go to another city none of you have ever been in, create a ruleset to "never use phone to look something up in this city". it's exciting and spontaneous.

For example,
arrive there day time.
Go out to some coffee shop that looks fine, have a bite
Go see something great right after
Find a hotel
Shower, get ready for resturant
Go see a movie
Go for some nightly entertaining show
Arrive back to the hotel around midnight.

It's important that you act like its all spontanous
Expect her to jump right on you.

This have NEVER failed me, it always makes them wet. She will suddenly feel a spark about you, that you have not entered the comfort-zone you too.

What you describe is a lack of anticipation. You say you went to your gym, the library and then cooked food. Were you two flirting and maintaining light sexual contact the whole time? Were you telling her things like "I like working out with you in my gym, though I prefer a different kind of workout when we're alone ".

I mean, what I see described here is a whole lot of non-sexual "hanging out" stuff, and she followed your lead. The issue is that after spending hours and hours of non-sexual "buddy time", you want to unzip your fly and announce "HERE'S THE COCK!" and have her instantly salivating to suck you off. That's not how female sexuality works.

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RSDTyler

I assume that this post has a few thoughtful responses because guys everywhere sometimes have trouble re-initiating sex with a girlfriend. Hey, its challenging to think up new, creative ways to get her lusting...

The answer is YES. I'm all over her. At the gym I'd randomly push her against a wall and make out with her, then pull away as fast as I came in. I'm literally always touching her ass, or tugging her hair to get at her neck. Goddamn boys I thought I was doing everything right lol. Here's the deal, she's super tight. So tight that sex is always very uncomfortable for her. I can barely put it in halfway. The foreplay is absolutely amazing. I enjoy going down on her and using fingering techniques that make her legs quiver. I feel like its the penetration part that she kind of dreads for now. Inb4 she's not wet enough: Trust me she's soaked.

Perhaps she just had a headache like what she said, was exhausted and didn't feel like having a dick in her mouth or vag. Fine..I guess. But she needs to know that this is a party-foul and my interest has plummeted.

Being short and sweet by text and will not initiate another hangout. Any opinions are more than welcome.

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Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."