Honestly for me looks sort of open the gate, but if he talks and I find his personality totally wrong for me then nothing he does will make him attractive. There are very attractive men in my friend group who I would never sleep with and men I find attractive despite being average/below average physically, purely because they are funny and nice and we have similar likes/dislikes.
My most serious boyfriend was average in the looks department, but was probably the funniest guy I've ever met, and was very honest and open throughout the relationship, which meant more than anything else probably.

This is the very essence of what being a PUA is about. We understand that our looks aren't as important to a woman as they are to a man. We work on ourselves to be more attractive to women in the ways that women find us attractive. Our personality, our humor, our confidence is what we want to let shine. There doesn't have to be any tricks or dishonesty to that.

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Why is it that you think PUA's have a bad reputation then? At least in the mainstream media

To protect the image of what a proper woman is supposed to be. We accept women as sexual beings and don't apologize for it. So since the "proper woman" has sex with an attractive man, it can only be because we have tricked her into it.

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1) If being a PUA is just about confidence and directness, why is it even necessary for there to be such a term? Why aren't all confident, direct men Pick Up Artists?

2) Do you think there are any demographic trends in common among most Pick Up Artists? For example, would you say most PUA's are politically conservative (judging by the emphasis placed on traditional gender roles)?

1- Being a pua means you have certain beliefs also, for example not putting a higher value on woman like most guys do - Eg walking into a bar and a beautiful woman is standing with her average friends most guys would put her on a pedestal and gock at her, PUAs treat her as an equal to them.

Also alot of PUA have had to learn and build there confidence levels due to not being blessed with the AMOG skills some are given who are more socially advanced.

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You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.

1) There isn't really a need for a "term" - I doubt most people who are actually good with women, even if they learned from PUA information, would call themselves a "PUA". PUA is basically just the term for "male dating advice" that used to be a little counter-culture, but is quickly going more and more mainstream, because it is so much more effective than the alternatives ("Just be nice and helpful and she'll like you for you!")

2) I'd say it leans a little more conservative. I was as liberal as you could be on gender relations before discovering PUA, but since discovering it, my view on gender relations has become far more traditional. When you try one script (total gender equalism) for basically a decade with almost no luck, do the exact opposite and suddenly see a ton of success, it's pretty obvious which method is more effective.

There are some things beyond being direct and confident though. Abundance, the concept that all women are replaceable and there is no "One" is a big belief. Another is that you need to own your shit and approach if you want something to happen - the responsibility is all on you, is another.

AMOG?

Alpha male of group

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So your political views on gender equality changed because of your sexual success? As in, your political/ethical views on gender equality are based on their impact on your ability to have sex with women?

PUA is both left wing and right wing at the same time.

Right wing because we encourage and reward "good behaviour" from our girlfriends, like cooking, cleaning and blow jobs. So in this sense we encourage maintaining the status quo of a 1950s housewife, which is conservatism at its finest.

But also left wing because we encourage and accept "bad behaviour" from girls who are not our girlfriends and we accept that women who love sex are not sluts, they are sexual beings with a sex drive who sometimes just want mind blowing sex without the relationship, just like us. Call it female empowerment if you will.

It may sound like double standards, but many girls i know feel the same way. Hence the Fuck, Marry, Avoid game girls like to play.

Sorta, but not exactly.

How I was before:

Sweet and devoted to any woman I cared for, regardless of reciprocation. Tried to be non-sexual when it threatened them (even going so far as dating a girl for 8 months, and never sleeping with her), always asking for direct permission to kiss or sleep with a girl. Tried to be completely equal in relationships. Was absolutely for complete gender equality in everything - felt that women were men with vaginas.

Women did not respect this, and I did not date often, and when I did, things, "didn't work out".


How I am now:

I don't commit often/never, and feel no desire to. I am aggressive, demanding and I won't hesitate to stop talking to a girl if she acts poorly. If we're being entirely honest, I treat women as inferiors, and me as the leader/better than them.

They eat it up. Very, very few girls seem interested in equality - even girls that espouse strong feminist principles and equality of gender still want men to act "traditional" in my experience. Traditional here meaning "be a leader and make decisions and act dominant".

Now I date a lot. If every girl I'm talking to right now disappeared tomorrow, I would not be set back by much. I could find a girl that would shock old me by how pretty she was in less than the span of a week.


So yes, to me, it seems like women want and crave male leadership. Are there exceptions? Sure, but in my experience, that's precisely what they are - exceptions. Women also seem more interested in consensus/ideology than they do truth or results. More important to say the right thing, rather than actually be correct.

If you wanted to commit in the future do you think you would act the same way as you do currently? Or is this kind of approach mostly just for flings?
Thanks for the helpful response!