Your brains will not get you the pussy. Your hard cock will.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

your brain gets your cock hard

yo do both

I love porn almost as much as pussy

No. Pussy makes my cock hard. I'm not turned on with my brain.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Your dick gets signal from your brain to get hard.

All of this talk of penis and brains will inevitably lead to discussion of skull fucking.
And then the thread will be about Xiahou Dun and nobody wants that.

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RSDTyler

OK so here is a not very good update. Yesterday I did a date with another girl that I previously daygamed on the street and went on a pretty long instant date with. I am actually going away for a couple of days and met her pretty late in the evening yesterday to go for a drink somewhere not intending to end up in bed, just to keep the spark so we can do some action next week.

To cut it short I guess I didn't calibrate very well and got her way too horny, did the question game with all the random sex questions, then the slow kissing, etc., so like 500m before we are about to part ways she goes "I know you have work tomorrow but are you sure you wanna go home", to which (not really thinking about it) I go "Let's go to my place I will show you some photos from my trip to X", which we do, we make out for quite a long time, I can do pretty much anything (normal) with her boobs, pussy, whatever, and bam I am like 30% hard so not really realistic to fuck.

In this case don't think she noticed/remembers too much cause we just kept making out, she enjoyed it quite a lot, and I am like "we have 4 hours before I got to get up for work so lets leave it here", which she complies with.

I am kind of really fed up though. I haven't seen porn for at least 4 months, haven't even dreamed about it, jack off like once or twice a week at most. I guess the main cause was that I had like a third of a bottle of wine on the drinks (since I didn't plan to fuck in the first place) and I don't normally drink *at all* and doing some experiments I have noticed it's much more difficult to get hard for me even after a glass of wine.

So, I guess I just have to cut out drink completely whenever there is a chance of us fucking. How to do this in a way that really doesn't stand out? I mean it's really weird if you go for drinks and she gets some wine/cherry/whatever and you get... coke.

I am also welcoming any suggestion about what else to do as I am really fed up I can get girls from street to bed now...

First off, focus on the good. You are getting women back to your place with you, be happy about that!

I know a couple of us suggested seeing a sex therapist, have you done that?

Next up, if you think drinking has that much of an affect on you then definitely don't drink and date. It's only awkward if you let it be, remember you should be setting the frame. By the sound of things, I don't think she was worrying about what you drank anyway.

Also being tired can cause problems... you said you had to get up for work in 4 hours, so guessing you were up too late. Honestly, you should have just told her you need to get sleep for work. It's good push/pull plus you look more "alpha." I'm betting from the moment you made that decision you started worrying about your performance, and it was running through the back of your mind the entire time.

You say your dick only got "30% hard." That alone tells me you weren't in the moment. You were checking in with your dick rather than enjoying the feeling of her tits and pussy. You were focusing and worrying rather than relaxing and enjoying it. I do it to, it's hard not to right? But the times I don't think about it are the times that work the best.

Lastly you said you jack off once or twice a week, which is fine (unless you listen to the nofap guys which I don't.) The question is when? Generally, if I think there's even a tiny chance of getting laid I don't masturbate for two days beforehand. I have noticed having more trouble if I'd gotten off the day before. Not a big difference, but every little bit helps.

Guise, just for the record... If we are going to talk about physical causes, there is two things that get your dick hard.

1. Testosterone (AKA the most glorious substance ever). Responsible for your actual sex drive, strength, morning wood, etc. Man, I fucking love testosterone (no homo)

2. The brain. Erections are triggered by a strong dopamine release by the brain upon it getting in touch with sexually stimulating material (like fresh pussy, yes). However, it is important to note that abuse of porn can actually condition your brain to the point of it being more turned on by porn than actual sex (not exactly ideal, since it can lead to problems).

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404 game not found

Thanks for this.

1) Sex therapist - to be honest, no, because I was thinking the changes I've made so far (no porn and drastically reducing masturbation) would have made a difference. It's not easy to get such a session here but I will get it (though it won't be in the next 2-3 weeks knowing the waiting times for doctor here).

2) I think the drink is a big problem since I don't drink at all otherwise and if I were planning to end up in bed, or even thinking there was some chance of that, then I would have cut the drink, either having a non-alcoholic cocktail or just making up some plausible excuse.

Yeah with this girl it would not have mattered too much in retrospective, but (in terms of the experience I have so far) some girls it does make a bit more nervous. In general though if I like the girl I am on a date with then we get into flow so drink does not matter that much. So I will try to cut the drink out even on first dates. This was my first time I got a girl into bed on a first date, so I kind of wasn't prepared for that.

3) Yup I was badly tired. I met her at 9.30pm after 2 hours of salsa classes, we ended up at my place at 1am the next day and went to sleep after 2 hours. So I was tired, hungry and a bit thirsty (which I fixed by drinking but from making out with her body I know my saliva production was pretty low). And yeah I agree in retrospect it was really crap decision to go to my place like I say I didn't really think about it. So next time I will just try to control the situation a bit better so I am not tired and generally ready energy-wise.

4) I was in the moment for a decent amount of time not even touching my dick but I did think about it more and more towards the end. I mean I will try to completely relax next time but honestly it's not super easy knowing what happened last time. Especially since you know she's ready to go any time you want ("you got condoms?") and you're not. I mean I quite enjoy the makeouts, petting, etc. but like after an hour or hour and a half you do want to move on to the next stage and at that point I am pretty conscious of the state of my dick because it means I just have to make plan B.

5) I didn't jack off for 3 days before but I will try to make it even longer for the next time. I guess that puts me at risk of blowing pretty quick once I'm hard but at this point I'd rather have that problem than not getting hard at all.

I notice you took every single piece of crap advice in this thread and literally ignored everything I said.
It's like clockwork and warning the person of all pitfalls does nothing and they slide down every single one.

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RSDTyler

It may be that he ignored your advice because those of us who have gone through similar issues know it's bad advice. Viagara does not help if the issue is psychological. I know that because I tried viagara myself several times and it didn't work when I tried to have sex. It did work great when I _wasn't_ going to have sex, which is to say when I did a trial run and when I thought I was going to and the girl had second thoughts and left.

Like I said in my original post (I think) Cialis was recommended to me by a sex therapist as working much better when the issues were psychological.

But hey, don't let those of us dealing successfully with very similar issues get in the way of your ego. "Crap advice" indeed.

I didn't ignore it. I took 50mg while she went to the toilet and then it had about an hour and a half to work. When I did a trial run alone three weeks ago, 50 mg was enough to keep me hard for like 4 hours after like 2 mins of stimulation at the beginning.

Next time I can try 100mg but that's the max dose recommended on the instructions and what worries me I get to the max dose with no effect...

I am guessing it might help better when you're not tired and in my case when you didn't have booze.

Oh and I am sure I have the real thing even though it is very hard to get here, as I got it from a friend who works in pharmacy and it's from their official stock, i.e. I didn't buy some snake oil from online.

@Onoma I will see if I can get cialis but it's probably going to be even harder to get from a trustworthy source then viagra...

You could get an actual prescription...

Based on my experiences here in the UK, on the optimistic assumption that I go to the GP, then to a specialist, and then the specialist prescribes that, I would have it in my hands early next year at best. And I don't expect the doctor to prescribe it.

Maybe that's pessimistic but that's my experience with the NHS here.