Aaaaaaand BOOM. I created a MONSTER tonight.

I have noticed I am actually OK with going out alone. Damn. This night was... Just fun. Heh. I ended up making out with a black American HB8 (not a lot of attraction... No racist, but whatever. I just like my girls as I like my wine.... WHTE AND THREE YEARS OLD) and flirting with half of the club. Could have done some more moves, but since I am a good guy (once I have made a move on a girl I dont like playing with others for that night unless she gives me a reason to do so; and this girl seemed to be in love with me) , I didn´t do anything else. After a while, she asked me to take her home and fuck her, but since I am working tomorrow, I just let my wing take her (a random dude I met in the club, might be going out with him again. Seemed to be kinda cool) and headed home.

This is more than a random night. This is a whole new stage of my game. Total independence. Of my mood. Of my friends. Of my status. This is what I have reached. Be able to go out, sarge, and go home. Knowing that I can always do this from now on will give me the laid back attitude about girls every guy wants to have. Ladies and gentlemen, let the games begin.

(next goal: working on my daygame. DAMMIT. Still got to aknowledge I failed at that.)

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I always found it really useful to set 2 or 3 goals to try achieve before I went out for a night. This gave me some direction and a good ground to reflect on.

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Want to become a natural seducer? Look here - http://therebornnatural.com

Yeah, I have tried to do this before. I see how it could help you grow into a certain direction instead of just keep doing the same thing again and again. The problem with this, however, is that if I fail (and if the goals are ambitious enough, I inevitably will fail at some point or another), I don´t have the inner game to back it up. Admittedly, I have a massive ego, but little to no self esteem. Mainly because life never used to treat me well until I got old enough and took control of it. Aware of it, and working on getting out of this state. Anyway, as soon as I fail, my ego feels attacked and I CRASH. I crash HARDCORE. To the point of being almost paralyzed for a whole day, deeply sunken into bad thoughts and even worse feelings.

So not a viable route at the moment. First I got to fix my inner game. The situation is clearly improving. I have been doing a lot of work lately, confrontig myself with my past. Trying to help my alcoholic family. Getting rid of shady friends. Building a solid professional carreer for myself. Meditating. Deciding what I really want out of life. Once I feel I am ready, I will totally put your advice into practice to help me control my growth better. Thanks a lot, man.

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---> The state of things

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I am back. Two years have passed ever since my last post, but I am back and have decided to become more active on this forum again. Post field reports. Try to contribute. That kind of stuff.

Just for the record, I got into a relationship and, since I was not actively sarging no more, I figured I might as well retreat and shut up.

I am at a point right now where, even though I am still getting over my breakup and am nowhere near where I want to be regarding my physical fitness because of unrelated reasons, I feel like I am still better off in some aspects than where I stopped. The perks of maturity, I guess. Nevertheless, my game has become a bit rusty, so I guess it's time for me to get back into it.

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Day 1

Tonight is going to be my first night out sarging ever since my comeback. I don't feel quite ready to wildly start fucking with other women again, but it is time for me to socially fine tune myself again. Thus...

Mission objectives
- Open at least 10 sets of HB7s or higher
- Stay in the set until I fail or I #C/KC
- Use minimal alcohol, since this is about consciousness, awareness and learning.

Results to follow in an edit.

Edit:

WOOOOHHH!!! PARTY!! I am still WAY too hammered! Anyway, shit was SO cash. Opened 8/10 sets, and got 6 phone numbers. Most of them not even flakes. Still got to check them all. Passed on kiss closes tho, I felt it wasa needless form of escalation if I am not even ready to get laid yet. There was a group of chicks who wanted to meet up with me and my two wings to go out again on Saturday (it's my birthday), but I'll see what we make out of this. I don't think I can be bothered, I would rather keep sarging and pick something up from the field if the urge to do so arose. Anyway, who the fuck said rusty?

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Day 2

This is gonna be a bit of a weird night out. I don't even know if I should count this as a night out "sarging". I figured I would do my boys a favour and asked one of the girls I NrClosed on day 1 to come along with her friends. Could be fun to continue gaming that set (plus it will add some social proof to be seen prancing around with those hotties) but at the same time it slightly bothers me that it is likely to restrict my sarging options on that night. Whatever.

Objectives
- Capture the interest of the group of girls coming with us, use the chance to practise my mid-game with my target.
- If possible, open other sets as well using a more indirect style.

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Day 2 - Results

Ouch. That was a harsh reality check. Havent' felt that kind of frustration for a while, but I'm going to take it as a good thing and use it as fuel to move on.

Esentially I went out with 2 girls and 2 guys. Baaad situation. The girl I was interested in was responding well and seemed to be having fun, kino escalation was going well as well... But my pals were too uncompetent to entertain her friend, so she (understandably) got bored, wanted to go home and everything was ruined. From now on, I am NOT counting on them to wing me. And to top it off, I was too uncompetent to pull anything after they left as well (I opened a couple of sets, but conversation quickly turned rather bland and boring... I really got to work on my mid game. RAPPORT, motherbonker!).

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Day 3

Tonight, I went out sarging again. I must say that I feel like the biggest failure to ever be seen at the moment. I literally got ZERO results. For the SECOND night in a row. I wouldn't even be that upset if I could say that at least I learned some new lessons or improvd myself, but that is not the case. I just failed to deliver in every imaginable way, and I feel like SHIT for it. It was a pretty target poor environment, but I am not even going to start blaming it on this. It was me. I feel like the biggest impostor to ever post on this forum, talking as if I knew jack shit but severly lacking in the results department. I mean, it's not THAT bad at the moment (my last lay was a ons I met at a club two and a half weeks ago) but I feel like I cannot consistently produce the results I want and exactly when I want them. Nights like tonight, with me choking and not progressing at all, are just NOT acceptable. As I said, there probably IS things I could blame it on (I am stuck in a rut going out with my old deadbeat friends, living at home with my parents, weighing 10 kgs less than when I was at the peak of my physical fitness and it was a pretty weak night people wise) but I hope most of them will change in one month when I go back to study at university in another town. Until then, I better get my shit together and make some plans, because, as I said... Right now, I am not a PUA. I am just some wannabe idiot who doesn't have his own life under control.

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Day 4
Aaaaand another night of miserable results. But I had a realization I think I can exploit, since I have been there before, and my game made a big leap forward after correcting it. Persistence. Right now, I tend to open sets just for the sake of it, to train. And after a while, I just drop out. Not good. Not going to to that anymore from now on. Once you open a set, you do not act like a fucking spoiled brat and you stick to it.

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Day 5
Ha! yes! I knew it! Persistence! I applied it and things are already getting better! I Got 1 Nr.Close and a FClose with a 7/10 last night... The Nr.Close was just me opening a 5 set in the club and being a pretty cool guy to one of the girls... And the FClose happened when me and my wing were on the way home. We met two girls on the subway who were also going home from a party (HB7)... So I started talking to one of them and my wing to her friend... I pulled a bunch of jokes with my girl about how "man, your friend is SO all over my buddy... Can't you tell her to show some restraint, I don't want to watch while they do this!" so she playfully was like... "Shut up!" and slapped my arm... And then went all like "do you really think so? That they are gonna get it on? Your friend looks rather tame to me" so I went all like "I dunno, let's set an example" so we started making out and... Long story short, we all ended up at the house of one of the girls (her family was on a vacation so she had this massive two story house with a swimming pool just for herself). I feel entirely olbiterated, but alive! yess!

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Day 6
Not sure if this counts as anything, but still I am going to post it (since it is part of my experience and all). Esentially, after one month of having broken up and 0 contact, my ex got in touch with me again... Not even sure why she did so, presumably to check how I was coming along. Long story short, after a short chat I redirected the subject to "breakup sex", and since both of us seemed to be doing rather well (from an emotional POV), we agreed to some no boundaries, emotionally unattached sex. Sure enough I went there, had some nice chit chat, busted a nut and left right after finishing the deed (good thing about exes is they know how each others body works). Normally I would say it is risky business, but I am leaving for college in 10 days, so hey, what could probably go wrong?
Not like this is a great achievement from a PUA POV... Actually, I am not sure I would want to keep doing that long term (it might just take away my incentives to sarge harder and better)... But hey, it was a pleasant experience at the very least.

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Day 7

Yesss! Nights like this right there are exactly why I got into PUA! First of all, I must admit I did not fuck close. But whatever, I can deal with that, since I got laid yday in the evening. Esentially, the night began kind of boringly. I was tired and sleepy. But then I went into the club... Warmed up by talking to esentially everybody... Got rejected a good bunch of times... And went on and on until I found THAT HB8 from Australia who was kind of my ideal type... Like everything about her. Woah. Esentially we started dancing and had a great time (didn't talk much due to the sound of the music)... Made out... Everybody was looking at me all envious... And when the club closed at 6 AM (yeah, we stayed kind of long) we left together, got a cab, I found us a 24h supermarket where we got some soft drinks and potato chips and we spent an hour or so talking at some calm plaza, chilling out after the club. Beautiful. Bad part was I am currently staying with my parents and she was sharing a room with her brother (long story, but I am moving out again in 2 days) so I could not FC, but in all honesty, I could not care less. I had a GREAT time and this girl was a very very interesting person, and that is what I am after. I would definetly meet her again if it was not for the detail of me leaving.

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Update:
Man, I am a bit demotivated. This is not what it used to be. First of all, I want to talk about my current state. I haven't been updating my journal a lot lately since I have been busy as fuark in the last couple of months... I have moved to a new country (the UK) and went back to uni, so I was busy settling in, getting my academic issues under control and building up a life...

As in for PUA... Dunno. Been here for two months and cannot complain. I Have fucked two girls from one of the societies I have joined, have built up a pretty solid reputation as a ladies man and am currently dating a 7/10 and a 8/10... Hope to turn them into a lay within the next few weeks. Anyway, this is not what I am on about. I feel tired. Tired of PUA. I feel like it is just a really really logic subject and kind of second nature by now (even though at times I have to consciously work on it and I probably still have room for improvement). I respect PUA, and I want to help whoever I can, but I feel like it is something I have outgrown. Which doesn't mean I am discrediting what it has done for me in the past and might do for me in the future, but right now I feel a tad demotivated about it. That's all, I guess.

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Also, I want to emphasize one realization I have had in the last couple of months... Yes, game can help you, but it doesn't work magic. I always used to be a firm believer that any man can potentially be with any woman they want to... And I still believe so... But to a certain extent. Good game can certainly help you with girls, hell, it even is a requirement... But it will not get you women out of your league. Period. That being said, this doesn't mean you cannot change your league, but it with money, looks or whatever. But I think way too many people entirely disregard the aspect of long term self improvement in PUA. In the end, no matter how hard you try to market your product, if the product is not good, you are already set to fail.

The reason why I have come to realize this is because I got back into lifting... And holy shit. I recently have gone traveling and lost like 10kgs of muscle mass... And all of a sudden I had to WORK to close my sets, and CONVERSE with them! It was HORRIBLE! Also I got blown often way more often! Now I have put 5 kg back on, and I can get away with much simpler shit... I am not where I used to be yet, but it just feels good to catch girls 'mirin in the middle of the day, get smiled at more often, etc! I guess you could achieve the same result with money, fame, power or whatever... But yeah, this.

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