Are pick-up and dating skills truly for anyone



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PostPosted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 10:32 pm 
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I understand that learning and improving one's pick-up and dating skills on women requires consistent practice. However, it is possible that no matter how hard some people try to work on improving those areas that they will never be able improve in it? I mean, I know that of course that everyone fall somewhere within the spectrum of how naturally talented people in socializing and seducing, right? Some people were born with very little to no talent in social and seduction skills, others have been born with average talent in those areas, and others have been born with above average talent if not have been genetically gifted. However, I know that some pick-up artists have said that used to struggling fitting with people and getting girls. For instance, I know that Gambler say he used to be socially and seductively inept up until his mid-twenties. However, does that mean that truly anyone whether they are a nerd or someone with Asperger's, or someone with a genetic social disorder of some sort, or just insipidly mediocre to begin with, etc. can end up dramatically improving their social seduction skills to the point of having a lot of friends and becoming a successful pick-up artist through consistent hard work and dedication?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 3:01 am 
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It's a learned skill that any guy can learn. Most PUA coaches were very terrible with women.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 9:57 am 
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It depends... I would say that yes, everyone can improve their social ability. But on the other hand, no, no every one can be good at it. If you have Asperger's for instance, you will never be able to read people correctly and understand all subtle hints in facial expressions and such, which is required to truly master these things.

It also depends on what you mean by pickup. If it is pickup as discussed here, then no, it is definitely not for everyone. The PUA community is quite fucked up IMO in several ways (don't get me started on that though), because people doing this shit (most often people with Asperger's or sociopaths) don't really understand what it's all about.

In a club, it's easy to see which ones are PUAs and which ones are not. I would like to categorise all guys in the following categories:

1. AFCs - a degrading expression used to describe young, inexperienced guys, usually in their 20's, who don't have the guts nor the knowledge how to be around girls. And some who have the guts, but not yet the skills.

2. PUAs - guys who think they know what they are doing, but who are so obvious and embarrassing in their attempts that you just feel sorry for them. They usually value approaching more than actually getting laid (as in "I did 3000 approaches last year, got laid once").

3. Older (30+) men who are still quite lost with women.

4. Older (30+) men who have experience with women, most never even heard about this community, and can outgame any PUA without even trying.

So, if these experienced guys can spank a PUAs ass that easy, you should ask yourself how they learned what they know, since it certainly wasn't through this community. This will put things in perspective and hopefully make you ask what "pickup" really means.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:28 pm 
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The short answer is NO.

Off the top of my my head I can think of 2 groups of people that pickup is NOT for at all:

1. For starters, those who suffer from legitimate social anxiety disorder should not get into pickup and seduction before taking care of their social anxiety directly. Once they've resolved their social anxiety through better, more direct methods, they can then be ready for pickup. However, if they try some of the stuff from the seduction community before addressing their social anxiety disorder, they run the risk of facing unnecessary consequences that can sometimes make their social anxiety even worse.

The PUA community has SOME tools to help those with various levels of social anxiety, but it is by no means as comprehensive as the tools real social anxiety disorder-centric community or a professional therapist can offer.

Many guys with social anxiety fall prey to the seductive marketing of our gurus promising a plethora of beautiful babes sucking their dicks every day, but the truth is you first need a base level of being able to talk to people face to face without crippling anxiety that prevents you from even going out to the grocery store to buy food.

2. Those who aren't willing to embrace a lifestyle of continual self-improvement and transformation.

There are PLENTY of guys out there completely unwilling to change themselves. And no matter how many times you try to convince them, they will simply never "get it." They think that self-improvement is a waste of time and all they do is complain while refusing to budge from their pessimistic and cynical worldview.

Think Eliot Rodger. He chose murder and suicide over changing his own mentality. In short, pickup is not going to work for closed-minded people.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 9:03 pm 
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I see, so you guys are saying that anyone can improve their social and seduction skills significantly overtime. Practically, anyone has the potential to have good social and seduction skills unless of course you unfortunately have a rare social disorder such as having a moderate to severe level or asperger's or autism or some other kind of specific social/personality disorder. Right?


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 5:18 am 
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You got it. And good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:13 pm 
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You got it. And good luck!
Okay, thanks. The reason I asked this question, was because I feel like I have been struggling with making real friends with people and getting dates with girls. I mean, people who know me or are at least acquainted with me think that I am a likeable guy who is friendly, polite, understanding, easy to cooperate with, and not eccentric in any way. Also, my family members have also said that my social skills have been improving tremendously over the years ever since my junior year of high school and still continue to improve significantly to this day. However, I still have a hard time getting people to hang out with me on a regular basis and don't know what to do when it comes to social networking. Furthermore, even though I have been researching a lot of material on picking up and dating, I still have been failing at it and I am still a 26 year old sexually inexperienced man. Therefore, despite the fact that I have been failing at these goals, I still hope that I will eventually be able to have a social circle of friends that I can count on and consistently get dates with women.


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