TLDR: Things were going great, she gets a temporary bar job that made it hard to meet up for 3 weeks but that ends soon. How do I get the momentum going again without seeming needy? Btw, I know there's a good chance she's lost interest but it would be silly not to try and I'm seeing other girls already.

Context:

- I'm 30, she's 22.

- Met 5 times over a month when she had no job. Every time we had sex (experimented a lot, she seemed to really enjoy it and I got her to try new things), she would stay over, shower together, had breakfast together. Last time went great as usual and we had a few decent messages back and forth after.

- She gets a bar job for a month working 10 hour shifts most days which started just before our last meet up.

- I ask her out for the next day at one point and she says she's meeting friends. She doesn't usually give an alternative day and didn't do it here either.

- The amount of interest she showed on txt seemed to change suddenly which I took as a very bad sign. I waited a week, asked again. I made a statement and ask to meet for a drink, she replied quick with a question about the statement like she was changing the subject, I answered, asked if she is going to meet me and she said she was probably working all week. The way it seemed like she was ignoring the question seemed very bad...

- I waited about 2 weeks when I know she's nearly done with her job, txted her a teasing message (I didn't want to look like I was sulking by ignoring her too long) and she replies within a few hours along the lines of "hahaha something like that, I've been partying all the time too " (seems a positive enough reaction to me, if she wanted to ignore me she could have been much more blunt)

- I'm pretty sure she's done with her job now so she'll have lots of spare time.

- I've no idea if she just wants fun or something serious. She's young so probably not.

- What do I do next? Assuming she's still interested, I don't want her to take me for granted and going from messaging and meeting often to this is jarring.

I reckon she got caught up in the partying life most people that I know work in pubs get into, maybe she met someone new at work, who knows, doesn't matter. I'm hoping she's going to get bored soon as that will be finished now and she'll have to go job hunting.

My plan was to wait a few more days, try and get a conversation going with some funny+flirty stuff, let her know how busy and interesting my life has been, maybe wait a bit more so she doesn't expect me to ask her out every time, then ask her out for drinks when she's responding well. My main concern is not to come across as needy and looking for tips to rekindle things after we've been out of contact for a while.

Sounds like she was politely brushing you off -

She's not interested.

You have nothing to really lose by asking again... but don't be shocked when you get the same type of responses.

Yeah, like I said, I wouldn't be surprised. It's frustrating though as I don't really see what I could have done better as she was mega keen before and she kept telling me how great the sex was.

I'm just betting on her being bored now that all the excitement with her new job will have died down. If she has completely lost interest I don't really see how I can turn things around to be honest but was just looking for some general tips.

Problem with most guys is that they have sex with a girl, and they tend to stick to that girl.

Go game other girls, you'll definitely meet girls who'll make you feel way much better. In the meantime, hit her up one more time. If she keeps saying she's busy, then she's not interested in going further. Ask her "When are you free?", it's usually better than setting a date.

I've been seeing three other girls over the last month so I've not been doing that! She seemed really into the sex and kept talking about how excited she was to try some ideas I mentioned (she didn't seem very experienced). I find even great sex isn't enough to stop girls flaking though...it's just timing or they're not looking for something right now. I'd love to know if I did something wrong but really don't know. I'm guessing she doesn't want anything serious and doesn't want me to get in the way of her partying right now.

Abundance vs. Scarcity. PPl can sense it, you do know this.

So. But I mean fuck you already knew this and just want to rush straight to how to get this one girl. Right?

You can't. Why? You insist on sabotaging yourself by not doing the work. Only until you learn that abundance is the key, you'll find yourself pining over girls who come your way. How do you live out of abundance? Doing things that enrich your life that aren't dependent on getting a girl. Figure out what that looks like and pursue that.

If 2/3rds of the guys on this site put half the effort into themselves rather than trying to act a certain way to win over a woman, sites like this would cease to exist.

Thanks, so what should I have done differently then? I only ever suggested one day a week I was free each time. I've got a good job, a house, I'm in shape, friends and hobbies for what it's worth.

Being a hired gun myself I can see this from a different point of view. She never became disinterested, just the pub lifestyle became more interesting. Plus the fact that working long busy shifts constantly on your feet can be tiring, and the rota can constantly change. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing the next day until i get a firm answer as I walk out the door at midnight.

If she's finished with her job now, give it a few days and you can easily reignite her interest. She's made some new friends but eventually our bank balance rules us all.

Cheers, that's what I'm hoping. The way she seemed to ignore the invitation for drinks was a really really bad sign though but now the party month is over I'm hoping she'll want to get things going again. We tried and failed to meet up a couple of times before the last time we met because of her having to take shifts on short notice so there's a chance she actually was just busy.

Any hints on what to message and when? I was considering just something funny that involves me mentioned how busy I've been, asking if she's out at the weekend (might bump into her), see how she reacts, then message a few days later with a drinks invitation.

The fact I've asked her out two times now is making me look needy so need to avoid this!