So for like the last year I've been doing team trivia every Thursday at a bar with some friends. This week, most of my friends who regularly show up can't due to work. One guy might show, but not sure I can count on it.

Normally I'd just say fuck it and stay in or find something else to do... but last week the new waitress, who'd only served us once before, seemed a little extra flirty with me. Basically standing close to me, touched my arm a couple times, remembered my "usual" drink from the first time she'd served us. So basically this week was planning to game her a little... then all my friends got tied up with work.

So, thinking what if I go solo tonight and hope the one dude shows up. Might end up sitting there alone pretty awkwardly, but thinking I can tell the waitress something like "Not sure if my friend's are going to make it, you might need to keep me company."

Or am I better off just waiting a week? Probably not a big deal, but was kinda looking forward to seeing if I could get anywhere with this chick tonight.

Hahahaha! Solo trivia night is part of my regular routine

Go. Definitely. If there is a host to the trivia, pal around with him/her. Tell them that your friends bailed, but you wanted to come anyway. So you are going to hang out with them a bit until you find a team to join. Being seen with the host makes your later opens really easy. Find a group you like, old ladies, dudes, mixed sets, something that makes you look social, not that you are hitting on them. Open with simple hellos or observations in passing them to and from the washroom. A bit later just go back, tell them your friends bailed and you'd like to join their team if it's ok. It's a probability thing

Now you've come in alone, hung with the event's alpha, landed with some strangers and are now laughing and smiling with new friends. The server you like has seen it all, and so has every other girl in the joint.

Don't ask her to keep you company. That will sound like "I don't have any friends, will you be my friend?" Instead, when she comes to serve you, tell to stick around and hang with your new friends. Do I need to explain how much cooler that will look? If all goes well you can use this move to bounce around all night until she gets off shift. At some point earlier in the night just ask, "when do you get off? You can join me for a bit". Servers see people socializing all the time, if you have any game, go into friend mode and this move should be and look easy and natural for you. You didn't have anyone to talk to, so you snapped your fingers and made it happen, like a Jedi.

At first, look comfortable being alone, pay attention to the game, not the environment, get a little bored, and don't game the server. If your team is chatting with a neighbouring team, then try to merge the sets under the guise of make one bigger "super team" to better the chance of winning. Really, merging sets is a godlike move that blows minds.

Warning: if you pull this off your server will likely get progressively shy and nervous toward you. Kino her when she serves you and reopen and reopen until you regain your rapport.

Sound good?

I think your trivia works a little differently than ours. I could possibly join another team, but everyone registers at the beginning so it's all set teams. We even have rivalries...


But yeah, everything else makes sense. I guess it's just a matter of me manning up to do it. (Well, talking to the trivia guy is fine, we already do joke around a bit... it's the actual talking to groups of strangers that's terrifying.)

Yeah, so I suck at this.

Basically one friend never responded to texts, but is habitually late... and the other friend kept saying he'd show up but never did.

Long story short, I ended up sitting at a table by myself the whole night. Did talk to the trivia guy for a bit during halftime, but he tends to talk to a lot of the teams so not sure that counted for any social proof.

The waitress did stop by but seemed a little less flirty. I did joke around with her a bit and try to flirt, but the big difference was she stopped at the other side of the table instead of standing close to me. Maybe just too obvious if she walked all the way over or something... The only good note was that at the end of the night I moved to the bar to get a beer, and at one point came over and started to say goodbye then stopped and said she "doesn't need to say goodbye yet since I still have a beer."

In the end, I finished my beer and went to the bathroom... when I left the bathroom she was actually right there but talking to the owner with her back turned. I hesitated for a sec then just walked away... but I actually used to work with the owner, so thinking it would have been better to say "Hey 'Stan' what's up, long time no see" or something. Or maybe not, with risk of him not remembering me or not liking me (we only worked together kind of briefly and never talked.)

So, I guess I'll see how she acts next week.

That sucks mate.

I think the main idea that mastermind was trying to convey was to act social, it doesn't matter that your friends were otherwise engaged, you can still have a good time. But instead you sat at a table on your own. Fair enough the quizmaster was busy running the quiz, and logistically joining another team wasnt do-able. But the bar is a perfect place to sit, have a casual chat with anyone ordering, and even befriending (not hitting on) the other servers. Tables on your own are isolationist.

What did you say when she attempted to say goodbye? That would have been a perfect time to whip out some flirt.

She's still showing interest so good luck next week.

Honestly I tried not to look like being alone bothered me, even made sure a couple times I got up to turn in my answer when she was on the way back with my drink. (It actually seemed like she saw I wasn't at the table and waited the one time so I would be there.) I probably should have moved to the bar at least...

I honestly don't remember what I said, but overall I just tried to be fun and flirty the whole night. Hopefully I at least pulled off some kind of "I'm confident enough to be here by myself" vibe.

Going out by yourself and being alone are not the same. Sounds like a good try.

I've posted a bit I just wrote on how I go out alone. Please read it and tell me if you get anything from it.

Well, I definitely didn't like this part: "...even if they really do, server game is not for a guy who needs to read this guide."

Seems like some good info though, I already go out alone like that sometimes but generally don't get to the "talking to others" part. Actually I tend to not get bored, and instead just increasingly anxious that I stick out like a sore thumb. Then again, I usually whip out my phone about 2 seconds after sitting down...

Well, go for her then! Won't hurt.