Mixed signals much?



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 Post subject: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:10 pm 
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So here's the thing, I met up with this HB8 that I have known for a couple of years, but never really talked(she was living in a different city). I hit her up on FB and after I ask her out she says "I can't think of any reason not to go out with you". So we meet up, go for a drink, then for a walk through the park before I take her home. During the drinks, I was standing next to her at the table, resting my hand on her lap, caressing her hair, joking a lot and so on. Later, while I was taking her home, she said it was a bit chilly outside and, since I didn't have anything to offer to her, I hugged her all the way home. When we arrived there, we stood outside on a bench, talked for around 30 minutes(with me continuing to touch her) and after that I kiss her on the cheek and she holds my hand before leaving.
I know, I know, I messed up not trying to K-close right there, HOWEVER I pussed out because of one single thing:
She kept mentioning her boyfriend throughout the conversation, how her ring is a replica of one that he has and it's sort of an engagement between them. She also found a couple more moments to emphasize that she has a boyfriend. Here's where I'm puzzled though: she didn't quite make it clear if it's her boyfriend as in serious relationship or just a guy she dates(she didn't use the word "lover" which in my language we use to describe the boyfriend, she just used "my friend, my boyfriend(not sure if there is a space there though because of the way she used it)).
Here's where the mixed signals come from. What am I supposed to do now? After we separated she told me to call her whenever I feel like going out, because she is available anytime.


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:19 am 
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if its really that serious it would be all over her facebook.

if not its a shit test.

Her cheating is her moral decision and it shouldn't stop you from trying. Until she explicitly says stop of course. There were plenty of IOIs.


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:44 am 
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Yea, her FB has only a couple of pictures of her with a guy, one of them is a good friend of hers, the other one I have no idea who he is, they were dancing, but it was the end of high-school prom so for all I know he might just be a friend as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 11:40 am 
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The only reason you feel like she's giving you mixed signals is because she isn't sure whether or not she should hook up with you.

She has a boyfriend, so she will feel too guilty if she makes a mental decision to do ANYTHING sexual with you.

Therefore, you have to make that decision for her. You have to take the lead. Don't wait for a green light, just go if there's no red light.

Or, if you have any moral objections to sleeping with girls who are in relationships, don't do it. Up to you. Just know that she will never make the first move.


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:25 pm 
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Quote:
The only reason you feel like she's giving you mixed signals is because she isn't sure whether or not she should hook up with you.

She has a boyfriend, so she will feel too guilty if she makes a mental decision to do ANYTHING sexual with you.

Therefore, you have to make that decision for her. You have to take the lead. Don't wait for a green light, just go if there's no red light.

Or, if you have any moral objections to sleeping with girls who are in relationships, don't do it. Up to you. Just know that she will never make the first move.
Should I be encouraged that the only thing that looks remotely like insecurity from her is the fact that she brought up her boyfriend? She didn't even mention if it was a former or actual boyfriend,


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:42 pm 
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There were so many IOIs

Go for the kiss. if she does reject you pull the straw man technique. (stickied in the Mid-Game forum section)


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:22 pm 
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Quote:
Should I be encouraged that the only thing that looks remotely like insecurity from her is the fact that she brought up her boyfriend? She didn't even mention if it was a former or actual boyfriend,
Yes


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 10:53 am 
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Update on this: yesterday I tried to get in touch with her via an inside joke of ours, she didn't respond to my text. Today I wanted to ask her to go out again, she didn't answer YET. Is it just her questioning herself? It kind of contradicts with the fact that she told me she is available anytime. Should I be worried?


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 11:54 am 
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there could be a legit reason why she hasn't replied.

but its far more likely that shes freezing you out because this BF is legit and she doesn't trust herself not to cheat with you.

Leave it a few days, try again. if she replies make a joke about her silence. something like "aaaah, you ARE alive still. i thought i was going to have to iron my black suit."

if she doesn't cut and walk.

If you ever see on FB that shes no longer in a relationship, hit her up again with something like "hey you just popped up on my feed, reminded me that its tragic we never got that second date in. why don't you meet me tomorrow"


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 11:57 am 
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Quote:
there could be a legit reason why she hasn't replied.

but its far more likely that shes freezing you out because this BF is legit and she doesn't trust herself not to cheat with you.

Leave it a few days, try again. if she replies make a joke about her silence. something like "aaaah, you ARE alive still. i thought i was going to have to iron my black suit."

if she doesn't cut and walk.

If you ever see on FB that shes no longer in a relationship, hit her up again with something like "hey you just popped up on my feed, reminded me that its tragic we never got that second date in. why don't you meet me tomorrow"
On FB she's single. Although I don't remember ever seeing her in a relationship despite meeting one of her ex-boyfriends(who happens to be a pretty good friend of mine). Yes, he doesn't mind me taking her out. Also she replied eventually and agreed to a meet-up tonight. So I guess I'll look at how that goes.


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 1:17 pm 
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excellent. we're both too eager with posting.

you've obviously got the flirtatious rapport and kino down with her. remember that hanging around outside her house is usually a 'waiting for a kiss' move.

and make sure you're pulling out all the stops. If she brings up the dreaded boyfriend again. TEAR HIM DOWN.
Again i recommend the straw man technique. Long distance relations are hard and if you can persuade her into realising its not worth it, she's yours.
if he comes up don't avoid it. saying things like "oh it must be so nice spending time together on the phone, talking late into the night making up for the time you can't actually spend together." she realises all they do is text each other boring shit a few times a week and call it a relationship.

keep us up to date.


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 6:15 pm 
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Go for the kiss. if she does reject you pull the straw man technique.

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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 9:05 pm 
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Officially, I suck. In my defense, this is my first summer actually going out and trying PUA techniques in the real world. Here's what happened:
She agreed to meet me after I had a short meet-up at the pub with some friends(one of them gave us drinks for his birthday). I made it a little game, a race of who could get to her flat door faster, me or her. She won and wanted to keep me on the phone, yet I hung up on her when I saw her and surprised her. We met face to face(she was coming from the opposite direction), I hugged her and bent her(you know, the tango sort of move). At the moment I figured I should've kissed her, but I thought it would've been too creepy to start off the date like this, so I just tried to grab her hand. She didn't pull her hand aggressively, but she did refuse the grasp. I attempted this a couple more times while we walked through the park, yet she kept refusing the hand-hold. However, she seemed to have no objections to me hugging her, caressing her hair and touching her thighs. When we got to her home, this is the moment I was literally stunned. It seems every one of our dates will end up with us talking on a bench outside her flat. However, she didn't mind me hugging her neck with my arm and leaning her onto my shoulder. I did manage to hold her hand for a brief moment, before she lifted her head and went into another funny story(I tried to follow the 80-20 guideline).
The ULTIMATE stunner was, however, the ending. I was about to say goodbye to her as she went inside her flat, we hugged and I was about to kiss her when she LITERALLY shoved her cheek into my mouth. I took it as an instant failure and as a sign of a future friendzone, HOWEVER after I kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye she held my hand for a split second and I'm pretty sure she grasped it and applied a bit of pressure.

P.S: All of this happened with me having a couple of drinks beforehand and knowing me, I was acting a little more cautiously since I'm the type of guy that is more careful after he drinks.
P.P.S: During the date she had a call from someone, the only time I saw her phone. I wasn't stunned by that since I talked to a close girl friend of mine about an irrelevant topic to the conversation, however I did notice HB was pretty upset and said she would meet up with said person this Monday because they had some things to sort out and some decisions to make. She then hang up, said she was sorry and continued the conversation like nothing happened. I decided to not make a big deal out of it, but I'm pretty sure it was her boyfriend whom she was mad upon.
P.P.P.S: Also when I shut up and kept a little silence while we were walking she started talking about some drawings she did today. Now I'm not sure if this is an IOI or she was just uncomfortable with the silence.


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 5:03 pm 
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Today I might have made a mistake. I tried to text her for another date, and the text said "If I were to call you right now, how fast would you get ready?". This is an inside joke about the fact that last night I was supposed to call her at 10PM, however she was ready and waiting for my call 5 minutes before. I think I might have come off as overeager for proposing 3 meet-ups in less than 5 days. Opinions? Yea, she didn't answer yet(it's been almost 2 hours since I texted her)


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 Post subject: Re: Mixed signals much?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:30 am 
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Quote:
Today I might have made a mistake. I tried to text her for another date, and the text said "If I were to call you right now, how fast would you get ready?". This is an inside joke about the fact that last night I was supposed to call her at 10PM, however she was ready and waiting for my call 5 minutes before. I think I might have come off as overeager for proposing 3 meet-ups in less than 5 days. Opinions? Yea, she didn't answer yet(it's been almost 2 hours since I texted her)

Overall, I think you are looking for reactions, instead of RESULT!

Think RESULT; Not reaction.

IOI is good, but without IOT doesnt mean you can't move forward with her.

You should assume attraction all the way...

That's a lot details that's too long for me to advice you here.

Check out my blog for relevant article, you'll surprise what you can actually do

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