At night I am OK, maybe it's because I know the girls are drunk lol but in the day I have no guts to go up to any girl. Is there any step by step guide I can follow on how to defeat approaching anxiety in the day?

Hey man, just overcame AA today after battling with it for 2 or 3 weeks. Wrote a post about it there.

i-conquered-approach-anxiety-audio-blog ... 82356.html

Be scared and do it anyway. People are scared of roller coasters and horror movies, but they know there are no real dangers so they enjoy the feeling. All the greats will be the first to tell you that AA never goes away, it just mean you are excited to talk to them, and they go, fear, anxiety, jitters and all. That's what makes it brave.

Don't try to hit a grand slam your first time up to bat. Make it a goal to simply approach a girl and make an offhand comment about something in the immediate vicinity. Even ask for the time. Whatever it takes to get the ball rolling for you.

There are various ways to deal with Approach Anxiety. Almost everybody has it some degree. You can either do the brute force approach and just open as many people as possible within a time limit, i.e. 50 sets within 30 minutes, or you can slowly build up your confidence to approaching by first opening hired guns as they will be polite and courteous at it is part of their job.

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Start off with complimenting girls without being attached to an outcome... leaving the convo when you please. Do this for a few days - a week


Then I would start being a little flirty with women as the next step. For instance when you see a woman working a customer service job. Hand her your money then when she's about to take it from you pull it back from her and smile... then when she goes for it again pull it back again.... then see that type of interaction you had. You gave more of a playful/ flirting vibe. This is how you want to communicate with women.... again no commitment.


After that phase you want to approach women and making the conversation longer + closing for her phone number.


It's a compound effect. You work little by little then over time you become a pro at closing. If you try to take it all in at once you'll fall on ur ass and get frustrated.

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easy dude- start going a lot more during the day

if that doesnt help or if you are unable to i would do a lot of "pre-opens" that are more simple- do about 10 of these real real quick to stretch

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take a tiny step by a time:

1. asking direction - 20 hot girls
2. compliment her and wish her have a nice day -20 girls
3. compliment her and tell her you want to meet her, stay for 1 min - 20 girls
4. compliment her, tell her you want to meet her, small talk with her, at least 3 min - 20 girls
5. compliment her, tell her you want to meet her, small talk with her, and move past small talk, at least 5 min - 20 girls

6. All steps above and try to move her for instant date or set up a date and exchange number...

Good luck!

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The important thing is repetition, that's the best way to combat anxiety, but in small steps. A smile here, a hello there. Little by little and then it will be easier and easier. keep up the practice.

That's one route. I started just doing direct approaches, choke, bail to early, repeat. The practice staying longer and longer. Sea hard, but before you know it you'll be pissing of chodes as they watch you bounce around while they sit and criticize.

hey you know, we all get AA. Even mPUAs get it. it's no big deal.

i'm just a n00b to the whole pickup community, but i already learned that a combination of lack of experience and going out after a hard day is state destroyer. if i'm "cold", i won't even be able to talk to some of my female friends. i can get decent results during night, in clubs - if it's a big party and i like the music, but my poor daytime sarging is the monkey on my back - that.. is my real target: i want to acquire the skills to get girls right off the street. even just get solid #closes would be good at the moment.

i really think AA is just the outcome and combination of several other problems:
1) being out of state, or "cold"
2) lacking field experience
3) not knowing what to say

so what i try to do:

to tackle the state problem: i do a warmup, maybe start by talking to a guy or two, just ask for directions and eject. also i try not to give up and go home until i tried for a bit, since i'm new and it takes me a longer time to "heat up".

to tackle the lack of experience well just need to be in the field as much as possible. obviously, trying to not let it get out of hand, but still make the effort. i think of PU like training for a sport, or martial arts.

the last one, not knowing what to say.. i witnessed that if i have a general idea of what i'm gonna say it really helps me overcome AA, because it frees my brain to do other things if i run out of things to say. so mostly i'll try and come up with a situational opener on the spot, but i'll back it up or follow it up by some routines.

so lift your head up, and keep at it and the witnessed gains will help keep you trying. learning to pick has highs and lows, let both of them motivate you. good luck (to all of us!)

I'm also having some trouble overcoming approaching anxiety. I feel it's the first road block I need to overcome (If you don't approach you won't get anywhere its kind of obvious heh). I've had some success in the past but most of those times I was a bit drunk. I'm trying to get over my anxiety without drinking any alcohol. I've read that taking baby steps is a successful approach (set some small goal like for example approaching 10 girls on the street to ask for directions). You guys feel this is something that helps or should I just try to go for it at some place and start having full blown social interactions from the get go? I know I'm capable of doing this, the problem is that I get too judgemental and If I blow it several times I tend to get down on myself.

I'm actually going to try the approaching girls on the street for directions approach tomorrow. What do you think about going without alcohol? I just feel too nervous sometimes and feel I at least have to have a couple of beers in me to gather up enough courage.

peace.

Don't be drunk in day game! Lol

Walk around talking to as many people as possible. Look people in the eyes as they pass you, smile, and if they smile back then say "hello" as they go by. Dudes, old ladies, store clerks... Then when you see a girl you want to chat up it's like your 20th open of the day. Warm up bro. Do you see the logic?

IMO asking for direction when you aren't lost is lame. I never open with a lie or FTC. I think it's wrong and is incongruent to me.

Sorry I wasn't clear my last post. I was referring to being drunk while approaching girls in clubs or at social gatherings. I wouldn't be drunk during the day, I can't, I have a pretty demanding day job. I agree with you that I shouldn't start out an interaction with a lie. I'm going to try out your suggestion, but man, its hard. Its like I freeze whenever I purposefully want to start an interaction now that I'm thinking so much about it.

It's not a step-by-step guide, but I made a video about this topic. Let me know what you think.

The Truth About Approach Anxiety

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