[quote="n2thevoid"
Good god, you aren't too intelligent.[/quote]

Really? Very few people in life have suggested that, and every one of them was generally regarded as a confirmed simpleton. So basically you are claiming to be a genius beyond my comprehension because I think there a some nuts and bolts to game that guys could do well by learning?

Help us out, sage, I was thinking he maybe had some bad body language that would be easy enough for him to correct once pointed out. Seems pretty basic to me, but that obviously due to my marshmallowie intellect. Forgive me, I'm dim, but is there a particular reason I, and the op, should ignore everything ever said by any expert in favour of your cut&paste generic bullshit?

@mistermind

Don't really care what you think

All the best

This argument between you two guys kind of embodies the duality between inner game and outer game (if it's called that) it seems. I think you're right in this case though. Of course inner game is the most important thing but telling OP to "be more confident" isn't going to get him anywhere. The fact that he keeps trying already shows that he isn't that scared. Maybe he isn't confident in the way he carries himself and giving him tips on how to show confident body language can help him with his problem and also make him more confident in the process.

_________________
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."

What is this bullcrap argument here? It's not about inner and outer game at all. Mastermind never told OP to fake it, he was stating the truth. "Just be yourself" doesn't work because AFC doesn't know how to be himself. Simple as that. Learn to read and understand what each of you is saying because you are arguing against arguments that the other person has never said, and it turned into a useless flamewar.

As for OP, clearly it's not just a simple issue.

First off, you need to be at least decent looking when you're using a direct opener(so no, if a booger is hanging from your nostrils it will not fucking work).
Then you need to project the confidence and belief in your true self, not seeking external validation. The thing that n2thevoid is talking about.

And finally, you start with qualifying the girl, so you need her to qualify herself too. Your follow up after the opener is weak. After you tell her your opener you must give her a reason to stay, as others have suggested. Ask a simple question like "What are your three most unique traits?" or something less textbook if you want to be creative. But the point is, make her qualify herself, if you don't, this is exactly what will happen(the girl just walks away).

Peace,

In$tinct

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Knowing one's self, and having a connection to one's self is not "game". It's called being a grounded human being who knows how to connect to others, as well as himself, which is what being interdependent is all about. The opposite of which is co-dependent, or in terms maybe you'll understand more, caring too much about what others think and moulding yourself to these perceptions.

You're confused if you think it's a duality between inner and outtergame. The inner is everything, the outer falls into place once you're anchored in your self.

For sure if you have a weak sense of self acting any other way will come across as inauthentic, and at worse just bizarre/"creepy"/awkward etc.. That's why "being yourself" isn't always a viable solution, in most cases it isn't or the person wouldn't be here seeking help in the first place. Unfortunately most pickup stuff perpetuates the notion that you aren't enough and that their 'tools' can provide for a quick fix - doesn't work this way in the real world.

We are all attesting to the same thing, belief in one's self is paramount. But believing in one's self goes beyond external things. For example, developing a fashion sense and getting in shape may help in making you a more physically appealing person, but if there's no internal shift in your self perception those things are just window dressing. You MAY develop more confidence in yourself due to these two external changes, and yes that can act as a catalyst to some change, but most often the case is that again we're doing things for external validation. This has NOTHING to do with strengthening your sense of self, you're just doing things to garner more attention from people. The shift has to be in the energy out of which you do things, not merely buying a few nice outfits and dropping 3% body fat and an inch on your arms. We see a lot of guys who aren't so in shape pull attractive women, they project a certain energy that's attractive - they are comfortable in their own skin and aren't doing things to win other's over. Effortless.

Well then, Gautama Buddha, teach us how to achieve that leven of self confidence. Because I'm as insecure as they come and honestly do not know how to change this.

_________________
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."

That is correct. I for one am very far from being in shape(I'm ~60kgs (132lbs) for 178 cm (~5' 10") ) but I'm very comfortable in my skin. Most guys who aren't in shape can't pull because they think they have less chance than their ripped out opponents. Or they wish to be ripped out but don't have the endurance and willpower to do so. Both of these result in negative thoughts and unhealthy self-esteem.

Still, your booger example-though I understand it was just an extremite and not to be taken literal- is bad because you simply can't feel good about yourself with bad hygiene. People might lie about this even to themselves, but in reality, people who don't take care of themselves don't respect themselves.

You're also correct that changes in your life are supposed to be made for yourself not for external validation. I never argued this, it's fundamental.
It's all marketing. If people believed they could do it on their own, there would be 0 money in the industry.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Yes you do.

Wtf is going on here...Why not make sure the guy has his outer stuff handled before going to his inner stuff? If the guy is confident and smells like shit doesn't matter whether he is comfortable with it, girls will run from him. If the outer stuff is decent, then you can identify the problem as being something internally. I swear, you dudes make this sound like jedi shit and girls will not smell bad breath if you have a smile on your face. Maybe the guy has BO, maybe his breath stinks, maybe he has creepy smile. I know guys in PU who love themselves but have creepy ass smiles.

I know, right?! This is hysterical.

To the OP, if you aren't convinced that there is more to good game than learning to suck your own cock, please feel free to PM anyone in this thread who is taking your little problem (and I bet it is little) seriously and we can do our best to try and help you sort it out.

You did the right thing noticing a negative pattern and seeking a solution.

Still funnier is that he took my response to his booger example seriously.

Of course PU is all marketing, as with anything else; convince somebody they're deficient in something and provide the solution.

Where the fuck do you get off thinking that she is for any reason "required" to stop what she is doing and listen to you?

And here's a brilliant idea.... maybe walk with the girl next time

[/quote]

Well then, Gautama Buddha, teach us how to achieve that leven of self confidence. Because I'm as insecure as they come and honestly do not know how to change this.[/quote]

Begin engaging in your experience. CONNECT to your body "what's going on inside me right now?", go deeper, don't evaluate, don't judge, simply be present with it and observe much like a scientist would (e.g. "does this feeling have a texture?" "a sensation?" "a density, or mass?" etc).

This is what's referred to as being mindful, or 'presence'. The problem is much of the time we spend in our heads intellectualizing things, and we lose out on the experience of what's happening to ourselves on more visceral levels. Your mind is one thing, but your body is another entirely and functioning with the two parts disconnected is what often leads people to make unconscious, egoic decisions that keep them trapped in a past prison (usually in the form of a dialogue or narrative they've created about themselves which they feel gives them a coherent identity), or a conceived of future which has yet to even happen, or may not happen at all.

There's a lot of recent scientific literature supporting that such increased body awareness and mind integration (mindfulness in itself integrates both hemispheres of the brain). How the Insula has denser fibres in people who do this frequently compared to those who don't and how such structures help mitigate limbic system activation thereby promoting higher cortex function. Basically this means the diff between being reactive all the time to being responsive.

If you're an analytical type you likely learned to escape to your brain because bodily sensations tied into emotions were too intense so you sought refuge by rationalizing everything. Unfortunately you can't truly know yourself NOR make meaningful change by taking a top-down approach to things. Much of the brain's circuitry is bottom-up, from the lower primal portions of the brain up into the cortex regions.

A lot of the people on this board likely lack self awareness to even begin doing this and will likely poo poo the idea as being "too hockus pockus" or "for overly sensitive hippy types" but those are the same people who have only a surface understanding of themselves. A lot of people believe they can be vulnerable with another, but being sensitive, or 'in touch' with one's feelings isn't being vulnerable. First be vulnerable with yourself, look at yourself honestly, this goes beyond knowing one's values. It is rooted around knowing one's experience.

If I'm connected to myself, if I have a firm grounding to who I am as an individual, my identity, I can engage with others without any fear of a loss of self, even if my partner who I may love very much leaves me. This isn't to say you wouldn't be sad, but the nuts and bolts of who you are aren't tossed into a state of disarray.