Hey!

So I had a thread just recently about a girl who I had been attempting to hit on, albeit too subtlely, for some time, and that just got brought to a head (or rather didn't!)

This situation really made me aware that despite knowing a lot of game theory and having an improved understanding of social dynamics, my ATTITUDE is still fairly AFC. I.e. I am still quite geared towards finding a particular girl I like and then working tirelessly to get her. I'm just attempting to use game techniques instead of "traditional" ones.

One conclusion I'm coming to from this and other encounters is that if you feel you have too much invested in a girl to be a dick to her, then you have too much invested.

Anyway, here's a conversation I've been having with a potential one-itis and would like you guys to assess the interest level here. As you'll see it's been a lot of work from me but I've also said some bold things and she hasn't stopped responding. However, if this is a waste of time then I would rather cut it off and start trying to focus on quantity rather than supposed quality.

Exchange:

Her: "Oh hey, sorry I missed your call earlier. I am really bad with missing calls, you're probably better texting!"
Me: "I'm really bad with texting"

[Joey Skills has already given me a good critique of this portion so not much more needs to be said about this]

A few days later...

Me:
"Hey I worked out how to do this texting thing. I've been on an extensive training course, they said I was one of the best pupils they ever had actually!"
"So have you missed me?"
"I'll take your silence to mean that you've missed me dreadfully"
"It's okay to open up and be honest about these things haha"

Her:
"Haha um no lol! Im @ a festival, my phone is never on me =P"

Me:
"Ah you're embarrassed of how much you love me, that's adorable :p"
"I just think it's a shame people can't be more honest about their feelings these days. So you're at a festival. Are you all stinky from not showering?"

Her:

"Ha, yea well i'm home now so smell better =P (sorry for late reply!)"

Me:
"I don't mind you stinky, I'm not a judgemental guy "


Anyway I can already hear Skills saying that I need to SEXUALISE this conversation and fast, but I've been hesitant because I know she's very religious and is probably a virgin. However I realise it's a bit fucking PG-13 so far. Anyway thoughts on how to proceed?

Thanks for your help guys.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

To me it looks like she is not interested at all to be honest. The 4 text thing in a row was really bad man. Painfully bad. I would not contact her for a bit. How often do you run into her in person?

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Shit. Okay. I was considering that persistence which might be positive but perhaps not.

I don't probably need to run into her or contact her at all if I don't want to.

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

NEVER EVER SEND MORE THAN ONE MESSAGE TO A GIRL WITHOUT A REPLY IN A SHORT TIMEFRAME.

Short = atleast 48 hours unless she somehow initiated contact in between through other means.

Nah, unfortunately, persistence is usually interpreted as neediness by women, and that they don't like. I wouldn't say you need to actively avoid her at all; if anything, that is probably the best way to re-initiate an interaction with her.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

I don't feel the need to reinitiate, if a strong interest isn't coming across in the initial texts then why bother?

I feel I need to clear the decks a bit and get myself into a different mindset where I start prioritising quantity over perceived quality.
Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I'm guilty of thinking that when other guys break the rules it's a bad idea, but when I do it, it's "cute".
How then would you square that with 60YOC's idea of "fearless relentless escalation"? And if not persistence then what alternative? Mystery Method all the way?

I'm not bothered about this now, I'm realising that as long as I'm worrying unduly about individual girls' reactions I'm in a mindset of poverty. When a girl's actually interested it should be obvious, enough of this scrutinising and reading between the lines looking for interest, that shit's for punks.

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Never read 60YOC... different strokes for different folks, and who knows if it works. And I suspect he is talking about escalation in person physically, not being needy over text message. Two different things.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Touché.

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Yea man, in person interactions and phone/text interactions are different beasts...

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Okay, since I know everyone likes the ending to a story...

(Text convo, starting about 15 texts in)

Me: You write songs as well do you? What's your vibe?
Her: blah blah blah about her music
Me: I must not be very clever cos I have no idea what that would sound like haha, let's grab our guitars and go down the common one day next week and we can sample each other's respective styles
Her: I didn't know how else to describe it! I don't play guitar tho + besides, not even my best friends hear them SPAM, sorry mate
Me: Fairplay, I've got a name for a new genre I'm inventing, it's called "getting sensible girls wet", laters
Her: Huh, sounds like a genre you're gonna need to be trying out on some other woman
Me: Lol
Me: Your smack talk needs some work
Her: Yea I don't like to shoot people down. Doesn't mean I'm gonna stand for shit
Me: Shit happens

I kind of respected her for that last bit although I wasn't going to say anything. Anyway, interest level is zero. I had another thread with a similar situation where I'd acted as a friend to this girl and tried to turn it around and it just doesn't seem to work (although obviously certain attributes about me must come into play).

On the plus side, I went on and hit on a girl at the pub last night. My first real conversational gambit was "I think you're very sexy". So I think that's the way to go, maybe not always that direct, but giving her no excuse for thinking you want to be her friend. I think I lost some respect from these other girls by not being head on about it, so I'll try to avoid that happening again.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

On a more candid note, regardless of who else might lose respect for me, I'm aware of the loss of self-respect that comes when you fail to own your own attraction to a woman, to yourself and to her.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, n2thevoid, I've read your posts and know you're deep into this shit. Tell me then, do you think this would have been recoverable if I had responded differently to her text where she said no to the meet up? (You say her investment was too low, maybe I lacked game in the previous 15 texts or just lacked motivation because it was trying to salvage a bad set and it's more rewarding to chase a new one). Open to all feedback here. Cheers again.

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

She rejected a date... so you tried to sexualise as a response? I like the whole "This doesnt bother me, I'll still be flirty" thing... but it didn't really come off that way to me. I'd have been a bit more "You shouldn't be so shy about your talents but ok. Give me a text when you figure out your schedule though, I'd love to see you " then not text her again, or MAYBE again in a week to (try and) set a definite date.. but that's just me.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Yeah I can see how that would seem retarded, but as I wrote above, sexualising with HER was not my intention. Apparently everyone reading it thinks it was, so clearly the fault lies with my communication skills.

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

By the looks of her reply, she took it that way too. If you don't want to make things sexual with her, why do you want to know her interest level?

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.