I'm not denying the validity of anything posted on here. I've been looking at PUA material for awhile but..I just don't know. I don't know how I can just change my own self loathing attitude and apply any of this to my real life. I'm always afraid that even if I try, it wouldn't make a difference, and that's where I'm stuck.

I don't know where to exactly even go to meet girls to approach them, I don't know how to use "DHV" tactics practically, I don't even know how to be...HAPPY with approaching...and I'm just stuck. I read the info and I have it in my head, but applying it for real? I can't...I just get this huge..cold jolt of nervousness in my chest when I think about "getting laid day1/2" and things like that...but it's what I want. I've approached a litte...but always came off too awkward for my own good. I'm killing myself here, since I know there are other guys taking the women I want, and that only furthers my self-loathing. I don't know how to get myself out of this rut =(

I don't hang around friends anymore, I've lived a very, closed sheltered life to about 24 now..and I want to change it. I really do, but I alone prevent myself from making any change and it's starting to slowly kill me. The only thing I've really, truly learned practically is making a girl "feel" good about me, that's a key. I just...don't know how I can do that...

I know I made a thread about how I didn't know how to get started, and I still kind of don't. I'm just lost in all of this information, like it's just so much to take in all at once. Any advice from the real Alpha Males to help me out???

You need to focus on inner game before you get good at actually approaching. There's a lot of awesome material out there and thats the best starting point. If you dont love yourself you cant expect anyone else to. Good luck dude keep your head up!

What material can you recommend? How do you yourself feel with your inner game? And how did you get to that point? Maybe those questions can help me out...

Hypnotica has some good stuff. Look him up on youtube im sure he has some videos on there. Ive always been pretty confident so it's been kinda natural for me. David DeAngelo also has some pretty awesome techniques so def check him out.

Thanks, looking some stuff on him right now. I don't know...maybe it just has something to do with me not really using the inner value I *know* I have...my Inner Alpha Male...frustrating...since I'm so used to being so hard on myself, I just slip back into my "comfort zone" of not really doing anything to stop it.

This is where the majority of guys get stuck and never get out of it. They end up living a life they may not have truly wanted with some girl who happened to smile at them one day.

Props for you for analyzing your situation, stepping outside of yourself and recognizing where you are at the moment.

You're on information overload right now: Your brain is swimming in tactics you've seen that contradict themselves. I have been there in the past - finally I just reached down and started gaming.

The first prerequisite is fully believing that you have SO much to offer any girl and that it is an honor for them to even be in your presence, let alone you talking to them.

You said you've opened but it hasn't led anywhere. Start small. Your confidence can be built in the field. Tell the neighbor you like his car. Help an old lady open a door. Ask a hot girl what time it is. It's important to get out of your head, into the field and to take actions, however small. Eventually one day you have the courage to make an offhand remark to a cute girl and just relaxingly see where the convo leads, with no expectations on yourself. You're just out for a laugh.

When you're done with inner game. Make sure you bring routines to completion before you move onto other ones.

You don't need routines and neither do you need material.

All is required from you is to go for it.

You said you are 24 and you're living a sheltered life. As long as you stay that way, you'll always have boring stories to tell. You can't impress a girl by telling her how you spent your 20s at home. Go out and have fun, don't pick up girls, don't do it at all, just go out and have fun and all will follow. Just start out by making friends with people, even if it a guy.

I'd say you start going out more often at first and socializing with people. The better you get at it, the more self confidence you'll grow over-time.

If you're reading too much material and you're not applying any, you'll definitely reach a point where your mind goes blank and can think of nothing to say, let's not mention that you'll over-complicate yourself with scenarios which don't really exist, but ones you've created for yourself.

How many hours would you say you spend online every day? Both on your phone and computer.

I used to be a fat, lonely, geeky, world of warcraft playing AFC who was failed at school and was failing at college.

Now I'm a toned, fit, flirtatious and cheeky university student going into my final year. The steps are SO much easier then people perceive them to be.

Step 1) Just realize that we do in fact live in an INSANELY huge universe and thus our actions as a whole don't really affect much. In the grand scheme of things we are ants. Thus talking, chatting, flirting, being cheeky towards females isn't a huge deal because at the end of the day the universe goes "meh" and so should you. It simply DOESN'T MATTER in the long run.

So start seeing the LONG TERM (a fun life/sex with girls/whatever you like) rather then the SHORT TERM (girl might reject you)

Step 2) Just get out there really. The brain has a way of hating itself which makes you repeat the same pattern over and over again. You don't have to have sex/get with girls to be happy. Get outside, go for walks, go exploring, read books, socialize. Hell just walk into a pub and start chatting to people, talk to the guys and sooner or later their girl mates will say hello. Better yet, just approach a table that looks social (I normally go for 3 or less people) and exciting and ask if you can join.

The most important step towards becoming confident is pushing yourself to be confident. The last step is.

Step 3) STOP GIVING A SHIT ABOUT EVERYTHING! The only time I act like I give a shit is when my friends or family are hurt or something like that. If people don't like me, fuck them. If people do like me. Awesome. This kind of attitude actually makes people like you more as well.

Foxe I'd say I'd spend nearly all my waking hours on the computer/phone...not really doing much of anything.

I'm amazed and feel blessed to be alive at the overwhelmingly positive responses I've gotten from this thread. I'll take the advice and today I've already made a few changes with myself like getting all of the shit in my room cleaned up, went out to apply for a few part time jobs, and I actually used the pool I have outside to swim and just enjoy myself.

I'm going to also take the advice in this thread and try to go out more and socialize with people(not just HBs) but people in general. I know that it's going to be one of the hardest things I'll ever do but seeing all the positivity here really let's me know that I should be more positive, more outgoing, and to quit the "self hate" crap since all it's doing is wasting years of my life. If I'm going to try to be the attractive, funny and flirty social Alpha Male I want to be...I have to start taking responsibility for my laziness to improve these areas of my life and commit myself to fixing them.

Thanks guys, I'll be around

This is your Number #1 problem right now. Buy an old phone with only text/phone capability.

You will never become a social and seductive man if you waste your life looking at a screen. And delete Facebook/Twitter asap.

You are suffering from CHRONIC Internet addiction.

Okay...I deleted my Facebook and I got rid of all the apps on my phone. Only things I'd ever use my phone for are essential stuff(school, work, girls) and that's about it. I just read about thinking of "approach anxiety" as "approach excitement" to give my brain the feelings of excitement rather than thinking its anxiety whenever I see a girl I want. I'm working slowly from there....

Realize that this is a journey and you're transforming to become a better man. Personally I think you should drop the bullshit of worrying about "DHV" blah blah blah. Go on a journey of SELF IMPROVEMENT and you'll constantly be displaying value naturally.

As for approaching you need to stop being so focused on the outcome. Find ways you can make her laugh... find ways you can make people smile and brighten up their day. Get into the mindstate knowing that simply by approaching her the least you'll do is brighten up her day... and the best you can do is connect and close for her number.

If approaching women isn't fun then you're doing it wrong. Of course in away you're WORKING to improve your social life... but a good social life is FUN... you need to make your interactions with her more fun.

Try sticking to saying what's on your mind... have no shame in what you say and don't worry about messing up. Focus on the moment and not the outcome.

Also develop your inner game... become all around a stronger version of yourself by developing new habits in all areas of your life... they may even be small changes that eventually make you better.

I remember a time I was insecure, frustrated and feeling hopeless. I used to be too scared to take action when it came to approaching women in general or women I knew that I was interested in. I would go home and beat myself up over it... thinking up the words I could've said to her 5 hours later.

Then I started working on my inner game instead of just learning the outer techniques. I focused on my body language, my tonality... I developed new habits like working out on a regular basis. I learned to just have fun and stop stressing out on the outcome. Once I developed my inner confidence everything came full circle.

Everybody goes through this stage.... there's gonna be some frustration on your journey. But never give up bro. You'll find your way.

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As I don't think anyone else mentioned this... "pickup" is basically impossible until you're socially normal. You need friends first. Especially female friends. You have to be comfortable with interacting with women before you should bother with talking to random girls looking for dates.

Another important thing is correcting sexual anxiety which is something EVERY man has until he's had a good amount of sex. I don't know how sexually experienced you are, but if you're as inexperienced as I'm guessing... you also need to forget ONSes. For right now, you need a fuck buddy or a girlfriend. ANY girl that's enough to get you hard will do. You need to fuck her enough times that you're comfortable with sexual touching, with being naked, with being around naked women. You need to be comfortable with fingering her, running your hands over her entire body. You need to be comfortable with dirty talk. You need to be comfortable with having sex in different positions. You need to become comfortable with sexual flirting.

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RSDTyler