Long story short, I've been a bit of a chronic masturbater, resulting in shit sex the 3 or so times I've tried it (couldn't keep hard and it didn't feel good). I've tried nofap a few times and got to like 2 weeks about a week ago then caved. Did it again yesterday but now feel I'm ready to cut it out again.

I think I can be having sex with a girl I'm seeing at the moment but I'm scared to because I'm worried it'll be shit for both of us and she's gonna lose all interest after that. Knowing I was seeing girls was motivation for me to stop fapping but I was in a horny state (but no excuses). I said to myself if I could keep it off until I see her, I'd have about 3 weeks of nofap which might be when my penis will work. However, now that I've fucked it up and I might be seeing a girl this weekend I know that's not enough time to get my brain and dick working for sex... Should I try and arrange and sleep with the girl as planned, bearing in mind my dick/brain are in masturbate mode and gonna be shit? Or should I try and prolong it? I wanted to see her this weekend (4 days away)


Fucking weak, I know bros...

How many hours do you spend on the computer/smartphone a day?

No fap is good but fapping once a week or so is fine, you just need to get the balance right.

Leave a minimum of 3 days of no fapping before sex and you should be fine. Watch sex instructional videos to boost your confidence. The more you do it, the less of a big deal it will be.

Thanks for the reply

Pretty much all day. Phone on way to work, pc at work, pc at home or phone if i'm out.

For me when I start fapping I get carried away, doing it 2-3 times a day. I bought the 2 girls teach sex video set so will watch that

The No.1 best thing that I can recommend for you is to buy an old Nokia phone which only has text / call function and get rid of your smartphone. You are addicted to the Internet and this is why you suck with women.

You are socially awkward because you are getting your dopamine (feel-good chemicals in your brain) from a computer screen instead of real people. This means that you will have difficulty relating to people and building real physical chemistry with people in real life.

Delete Facebook and Twitter. If your only means of communication with people is real life, you will be forced to learn social and seduction skills.

I read a scientific report that said if you can go 90 days without masturbating; your brain will rewire and any erectile dysfunction issues will be eliminated.

If i were you I would look into that. I personally don't masturbate at all. At the most maybe 2-3 times a year. And each time I do; i feel less attractive than I did prior to doing it.

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Yea the sooner you unhook from Online Social Media, the better off you'll be.

It's not the real world, it DOES have an affect on the brain's circuitry (dopamine rush from getting "likes", msg'd etc.) and it is certainly possible it can affect your offline social skills.

I am wrapping up my thesis in counselling psych on Facebook (particularly looking at how narcissists present themselves on the site), and a lot of the research is indicating that using such sites extensively does have an affect on the brain.

Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if you learned to sit with discomfort rather than burying yourself in your phone while out in public. THere's a much more interesting world out there more so than anything virtual can provide. Explore it. Even in spite of your discomfort, particularly so.

the worst side effect of porn other then chronic masturbation is the comparisons between yourself and porn, its the she didnt cum like the girl did in the film or my member isnt as big as his or i didnt last as long as he did, i hate to shatter illusions but firstly she probably didnt cum in the porn film she just made the cum face, the guy in the porno was hired for his member not because of his acting ability, and he lasted long for 2 reasons very few pornos are shot as 1 long scene there are breaks which means hes had to stop and start and regain his boner and if he didnt hes probably on viagra or had a caverject injection which is an injection into the penis to keep your erection for hours, (doesnt that sound fun). the anxiety will play an issue take your time and slowly enjoy it dont bang away at her like a drum kit.
dont just go for intercourse either give her head get head, give her a handjob get a handjob, make is sexy dont just make it 2 people rutting just for the sake of it.
the other thing you have to think about is if your using condoms. i never recommend going bareback and not using a condom sadly that has repercussions like having to pretend to like sports for 18 years or catching something dirty. however i would say use condoms suited to you if you dont feel anything use some like real feel by durex, or skyn by mates which are really thin but not latex so they are still strong. if you are having problems keeping it up try extended pleasure by durex or mates endurance

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Thanks all. I'm not sure I'm ready to make the jump to no-tech but can certainly begin cutting back...

I also heard the nofap thing is supposed to cause a reboot after like 90 days. A bit shit but nothing to do other than go for it again


In the mean time, should I keep trying to bed women or is it pointless? If so, what happens if the sex is shit? I feel okay with oral/fingering but would they still just lose interest if I'm rubbish at fucking them?

did a girl tell you, youre bad in bed or is this a personal opinion

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I haven't been able to have proper penetration sex because I can't keep hard

Leave your phone at home when you leave the house.

You won't be successful with women until you give up your chronic internet addiction

what if you just jerk off once a week?

also clear your mind.. most of it is probably you being stuck in your own head. Relax and stop worrying. Meditate.

and if all else fails use your fingers.

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it is most likely performance anxiety, if you think you are going to be bad at something more often then not you will be. it could be the girl isnt getting you excited enough so if theres little to no foreplay, foreplay is the warmup before going into the starting blocks.
there may be another element you may not find the girl sexy enough to sleep with her, and that could be down to mentally comparing girls to girls in porn. as much as guys like to say ill sleep with anything in actuality thats not true.

heres a plan of advice:
1) no masturbation at all but go ahead and watch porn if you wish.
2) i would say do this only once next time you get a girl into bed no attempt at intercourse only foreplay so bjs head fingers etc.

the reason i say this is because in a way its going to frustrate you because you cant touch when you really want to and then when your chance comes round again with a girl then the spark should be there

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

Thanks a lot for the help fellas