Hey Guys,

Just wanted your opinion on a conversation with this older lady I'm trying to game. I met her yesterday, but we really hit it off well, and hung out for about 2-3 hours. She texted me today, and we'd been texting for about an hour until this happened lol. The conversation went like this:

Me: In some cultures, being a virgin before marriage is considered the best thing according to society
Her: Virgin is so overrated. Who wants a dumbass chic who doesn't know wtf to do in bed??
Me: Lol. I'm just asking this, and I hope it isn't too intrusive, but what's your magic number?? You can choose not to answer
Her: Magic number? Number of what?
Me: Number of sexual partners lol
Her: I don't have a stupid number. I look for how I am treated n if im treated with respect, there's no number. A number has no bearing on how my relationship will go with a guy.
Me: You know it's good to hear that perspective. Thanks for sharing it. I'll share my number. I have no qualms about it. My number is x (I actually told her my number :-/, dunno what possessed me)
Her: Uh ok. Whatever.
Me: My point is that people are afraid of being judged. So that's why they don't talk about these things.
Her: Not sure why you felt you needed to share that.
Me: Hmmm, It's just something I don't mind sharing.
Her: Funny cause none of the guys I know are preoccupied with perception really. Must be your circle. They don't talk about it because some things are private/personal, like how many partners you have had.
Me: My point is that if the number really isn't important, sharing it would not be an issue. Especially women are sensitive, they feel this social pressure to be perfect, and are always guarded about it. Is that true or not?
Her: I dunno, I have mostly guy friends.
Me: Hmmm, but as a woman you would have some perspective on it right?
Her: Nope, I think differently than most women.
(Now she changes the subject)
Her: Hey, I've just joined a gym.....blah blah blah

Now, I know I fucked up. My question is, has anyone ever tried asking this? Or is this a taboo for all women?

You tooled yourself.

Why did you have to talk about that shit... was your magic number high or low?

If the girl brings it up then go for it but to keep going on about it when she is giving you bad reactions to it is not doing anything for the interaction.

You can talk about that shit when you're naked in bed together. Lesson learnt. Hopefully she will still meet you.

You could at the least make a game of it , like the question game. Rules are you get ask personal questions and that the recipient had to answer truthfully and can't ask same question back to you. I use this all the time and works great:

Have you ever...
• gone through a bf's phone texts?
• kissed more than 6 guys in one night?
• had a one night stand?
• Fav sex position.?
• magic number.?
• sexual fantasy?
• on a scale 1-10 what is your attraction level for me?
• most erotic moment?

She should be turned on at this point.

At least that way. It's less intrusive since it's a game.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Bad game to play. Don't do it again. Number of partners doesn't matter. The only thing that is of interest to me is if she's literally a virgin. I may not bother with her then. But then again, lots of girls who are not, claim they are.

Anyway... she took this as being judgmental. And further projected this on your entire group of friends. This is BAD because it makes her far less inclined to sleep with you. Both because she thinks you'll potentially lose respect for her, and that if you tell your friends(which she seems to think you will) they'll think she's a whore.

This went just about as poorly as I can imagine this question going.

Don't fucking do this again.

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RSDTyler

That entire conversation just made me uncomfortable...

She wanted no part of that and you kept pushing it!

Anyway, good that you know you fucked up. Never do that again.

Pebble's idea of making it a Q&A sex-themed game is all right, if you REALLY need to know... but the way I see it is that she's probably gonna lie about her number, regardless, unless it legitimately is very low... So why even bother asking?

Stick to texting for meetups. Save the long winded convos for when you're sitting or laying next to her and you can make a move.

Well, here's my short answer to the question: out of sight, out of mind...I prefer not to know the number

Thanks for the feedback everyone, and ya, I'm definitely gonna steer clear of this conversation from now onwards.
As an update, the lucky thing is that she is still interested, and we're gonna hang out tomorrow. My magic number was moderate (not too low or high). Any suggestions on how to play this now? I'm guessing the chances are slim.

Yup. Don't revisit that conversational thread. message her outta the blue something funny and act like it never happened.

Things are only as big a deal as you make them out to be. IF she's still cool with you she'll go along, if not then nothing lost. Reload.

girls dont like talking about their "magic number" it would just make them feel uncomfortable and if they do answer they would probably think its never good enough, like if they say shes only had 1, then she would think you think shes unexperienced, if she said 20 she would think that you think shes a slut. just dont go there

Talk of sexual history is a touchy one with a new girl.

Look, women are sexual creatures they want to get fucked and sucked equally if not more so than the horniest of guys, but society imposes big costs on them for acting out/being direct about it. Why do you think the vast majority of girls want to be treated respectfully outside the bedroom but then slutted-out in the bed room (hair pulled, dominated, talked nasty too, have their asses slapped, pussies pounded raw etc..)?

So you ask her how many sexual partners she has, congrats you just helped evoke the whole notion of being a slut in her head. Women WILL do almost anything to avoid feeling this way.

Ever hear of the phenomenon of "Buyer's Remorse"? Chick sleeps with a guy without putting up much resistance, she's attracted to him but the next day and weeks she ignores his calls and moves on. Why? Everytime she hears his voice or is reminded of him in some way it brings back these negative feelings in her mind that she was too easy. A woman's drive to NOT feel dirty/'slutty' will most often override her desire to be with a guy. Self-preservation can be a bitch.

Why are you worried? Just get her tested and yourself, at that, and you're good to go.

I'd have thought the only time this would be an issue is if you're looking for a long term girlfriend. If it's just a fuck buddy or looking for a one time hook up then it's irrelevant unless it's just something you need to know.

Also moving on, I would try and be more easy going with conversations, agree with most posters so far that you kept plugging away when it was clear she was getting uncomfortable and felt like she may have been getting judged. Maybe try drop in a way to demonstrate you being more open minded and not caring about things that seem trivial to her.

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The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive. But to move ahead, to go up, to conquer.... - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Thanks for all the info guys. Another update, I think she found someone more of her age. :-/

that whole conversation was cringy as shit, asking for her number shows that your judge women based on sexual history. Not only should women be allowed some freedom from this, when you show a women you judge them based on sexual history, they will avoid sleeping with you just to avoid being judged.

but my real problem with the whole thing isn't even you asking her for her "magic number" no my problem is that she called you out on it you went into ultramax beta mode 7000. you could have easily recovered from this, by holding your ground and making a joke out of it. and then changing the subject. Instead you tried defending the question, and defending your motives, and you wouldn't let it drop

also if you are going to ask a girl how many dudes she has fucked, don't beat around the bush you actually started this whole thing beta as shit by not outright asking her. that "magic number" shit is going to get you a nomination to the beta of the year award

I've got some random 6's I have been texting for shits and giggles I'm going to ask one this same question I'll post my results tomorrow.