She seemed less crazy last night.


Also, fucked her finally.

saying "im in control" im in control" is probably or most likely because she was raped. by saying those words she is reassuring her self that she is indeed incontrol of the actions that are taking place.

its a psychological thing . its for herself . not for you.

and im glad things are looking up. hope everything works out for you.

Well, this situation (as expected) didn't end well.

My performance wasn't amazing in bed (I have a problem with performance with both condoms and hotter girls - nervousness I'm guessing), but she was still really responsive (the entire time between that day and the incident) and even made a comment the morning after that seemed like she was into me.

Well, the next week was my birthday and I spend it going out with friends rather than sleeping with girls (I know, the two should be mixed or solidly in the opposite category, but it is what it is), so I hadn't seen her in about a week and a half. Make (tentative) plans for Thursday, flake on her for a newer girl. Basically I wasn't really trying to hang out with the hot crazy one.

Anyway, I text her on Friday a good portion of the night - it's been two weeks, I want to fuck her. She says she's going out and she's at a house party.

I gradually figure out where it is (from what she tells me), and set off to find her.

I randomly run into a girl I think is her at first, who knows where the party is.

I am led to the party. It is a fairly small (probably less than ten people) party.

The girl is there, and she seems surprised I found her. Maybe she didn't intend on me showing up - who knows.

She sticks her hand in my face and is all sassy with me (not entirely unexpected, we had a very aggressively sassy/disrespect vibe between us), but then she does something I'm not out with - she takes a guy at the party and goes into a bedroom with him and shuts the door.

I call her a slut, and she leaves the room and starts arguing with this other guy she thinks called her a slut. Then she goes back in.

We weren't exclusive, I don't care if she hooks up with other guys, but I am not tolerant of her hooking up with another guy in front of me.

I wait about 2 minutes to see if she's going to leave the room, or if she's going to do what she's going to do. I find out she insulted my sexual performance behind my back to people.

I decide, "Ok, I'm done with this", and I just straight up leave. No explanation given to the host, any of the guests, or the girl. I literally just leave.

She texts me about twenty minutes later, like, "Wow, I can't believe we found each other"

I just ignore it and haven't texted her since. She's hot as fuck (perhaps the hottest I've fucked), but I don't know if I should re-establish contact. That seems like some massive disrespect there.

Dude, you showed up uninvited at a party she was at, and then get pissed that she goes off with the guy she was originally with? Would think that was disrespectful of her if you and the other guy traded places?

You're one of the few people on this site I actually respect and consider to be able to handle himself not just with women, but high quality women who are both physically attractive and worthwhile aside from looks.

I just don't understand where you're coming from here at all. You've been ignoring her for two weeks. You then randomly decide you want to see her. So you basically lightly stalk her, show up unannounced and then consider it disrespectful when she doesn't drop what she's doing and dry hump you?

Honestly, what else IS she going to do but pull the other guy into a room to get her and him away from you? This is exactly I would expect this to turn out in nearly all cases. Women hate socially awkward situations like I hate Peyton Manning. There was no way she was going to stay in a tight social gathering with you and this other guy she's with. Way too awkward. So she took him into another room. The only other thing she could do, would be throwing herself at you in front of everyone and giving you literally all power in your relationship. That seems to be what you expected, but is not even slightly realistic.

You never should have gone to that party.

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RSDTyler

I agree that I shouldn't have shown up at the party. It was poorly planned out. I was actually under the impression that she was drunk and trying to find me by the texts we had exchanged. It was weakness on my part - I was worried that I had let the girl go cold while I was busy. I had also had the evening beforehand with another girl go poorly (when I did -not- expect it would go poorly). So the whole thing was brought on by weakness. I acted emotionally rather than logically, and I know better than that. Guilty as charged.

I see your point about how I expected her to drop everything for me, after I had flaked on her a couple days prior and hadn't really even tried to see her for weeks. I am perhaps being a little hard on her for that.

I guess my impression was that the dude she was talking to she didn't really "know" that well, and so naturally she should drop talking to him for me - but I don't have any idea what their past is - for all I know he's a more consistent FWB than I am.

I agree with you though, I'm coming from a sense of entitlement here (which I don't see -overall- as a bad attitude to have with dating), but it's blinding me to the reality that I barged into her social circle and basically demanded she blow me right there.


I'm not even sure if I should try to fix this situation or not at this point though - the text after I left implies to me that she's fine with me overall, but probably not my interactions that night. I suppose ignoring and just inviting her out again would work - but she did insult me behind my back. Should I just be ok with that?

That's up to you. I tend to assume that any girl I'm with is liable to vent about anything that goes wrong between us. It's not something I like about women, but it's something I'm used to and expect.

There are girls who don't do that, it's true. But they are a minority. It's not important enough to me, to use it as a qualifying factor. But I can see why others would disagree.

In general, there isn't much to fix. The last text she sent was basically a "Please don't hate me, I still like you" text. I would just ask her out as usual.

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RSDTyler

It always disgusts me when I find out a woman does that. Hell, I even hate it when a girl badmouths another guy to me in an attempt to show she's interested in me - I've had a girl do that, and then proceed to date the guy when I made it clear I wasn't down for commitment. But again, emotional creatures, they are what they are.

I agree that she basically said, "don't hate me". I may have been a bit of a dick, but I came in swinging value and entitlement (at least, this is how I'm reading it - I may have just come off as an asshat dick) - I found her at a random party with barely a cross street and general idea where she was, I called her a slut publicly (more or less acting like I owned her), and the moment she didn't fawn on me, I left without a word, or a whine. A lot of investment and emotion-spiking after two weeks of ignoring a girl isn't exactly the worst.

It was brutal, and mean, but hey, pickup and dating isn't all rainbows and happiness.

I'll probably just respond with a, "Yeah, crazy", to her "Wow that was crazy we ran into each other". That should be a good "we'll go with that" explanation for the night. At that point she'll either do a subject change or make some comment about it if she's still bothered by something from that night - that's my guess.