what is the most alpha way to put your foot down when you feel a girl is doing something on a regular basis behind your back? at this point shes my girlfriend(which she was asking to be for months) so i feel i have the right to not be left in the dark about shit

when she makes it pretty clear shes appreciated, fucked like she needs to be, i make her feel like a woman. but once every other week or so starts to get shady and makes up ridiculous excuses why she "wont be around friday" or "goodnight ill talk to you tommorow (@7pm)"

at this point im conifdent its not another guy, but perhaps a drinking night with guy friends or something similar...just something shed rather i not have any say in.

so this girl has been telling me lately shes never ever thought shed find the guy she wanted to marry and have kids with until she met me....and her actions show shes clearly in love with me accept when she does this

its bottled up far too long and i dont want to just go fuck other girls behind her back to write it off, so how AND WHEN do i bring this issue up to her without looking like a chump or being accusatory. perhaps catch her when shes in a lovey dovey mood with me in person?

im afraid whatever this is will end up costing my relationship with this girl if i dont get it out of the way

ive been going distant and cold when she does it and it makes her run back to cover ground....but she still continues it regardless.... i want it stopped

The most alpha way to bring up beta-mindset insecurities??? Um... Don't. You have expectations that she has agreed to. So if she violates that, dump her. If you are just generally worried, then shut the fuck up, cope, and let her live her life without her pussy of a boyfriend sticking his chode nose where it doesn't belong.

Alpha is a mindset, an it's something you need to work on. IMHO

What's insecure about calling someone on their shadiness?

What's shady about having your own life and friends? The poster even says he is confident it's not another guy, so whatever she does is her own damn business. If she is acting sketchy, maybe it's because her boyfriend is to interested in what she does and hints at a lack of respect for her privacy. "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "What were you doing?" Even if worded differently are questions that would make anyone defensive. Any girl can tell if these questions are modivated by curiosity or distrust, and if she senses distrust, then why would she trust him with her private life he has no right fish around in?

To me it sounds like you're over reacting man. I don't see why its taking you this long to even bring this up. Talk to her about it. How the hell could you let something bother you this long and be quiet about it; yet consider yourself a man.

However.. Don't be a bitch about it. Do get upset or show any negative emotion. Tell her about when the moon is right The next time you and her are laying up and love is in the air; just bring it up casually " Hey, when you disappear like that, I get concerned. Lets me know whats happening from now on. It'll allow our relationship to function better ". Then give her a kiss and expect her to do better.

Now if she ignored your suggestion, you have to be willing to walk away. Women are only going to do the things they know they can get away with. If she can feel that you will stay with her no matter what she does; she will do anything she wants. If she can feel that you respect yourself enough to leave if she gets too far out of line, she will behave accordingly.

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During an argument things can be brought up. id suggest talking about it in a causal way like the person above me mentioned.

if your curious what she does, ask her. if she gets angry, shes ether hiding something(less likely), or she thinks you dont trust her. (more likely)

tbh its natural to wonder... but we all have our separate lives. dont assume that just becuase your in a relationship that you must spend every waking hour talking or being with this person. that's a big turn off. and a sign of neediness.

what makes you so concerned anyway? has she done something in the past to make you question her now?

i spoke with my mother about something similar. her boyfriend suddenly starting going out with his friends and she was bothered cuz they wernt spending time with ea other, and she didnt know what he was doing. when i told her to talk to him about it she said, "no its none of my business". shes still concerned though... so i told her "well why don't you go out with your friends or do something yourself?(dont do it out of spite...) stop worrying about him, and go do something with yourself"

and im going to suggested the same thing to you. stop worrying about it and go do something with out her. dont become needy. dont do it out of spite though. if your doing it to get back at her it will only end bad. i would still suggest talking to her about it first.


obviously take my information with a grain of salt. i'm new here after all.

Your insecurity is making her act the way she's acting

Is this the chick who was acting shady before?:

how-to-behave-when-suspect-she-s-talkin ... 78848.html

Why the hell would you wife a shady chick who was disappearing on you? Unless she's SPAM or something, she's fucking someone else.

Bingo!

Hmmm its a tough one...easy to get branded insecure on here! You could be totally secure and Alpha but still she could still be getting some extra loving elsewhere!

I think you can confront her once...lay down your concerns. Then you gotta trust her and control your emotions or move on.