I'm 37 and was chillin at my apt complex pool about 1.5 months ago (mid June). There was a woman there I knew from complex and she had her friend with her. She was damn hot but, you could tell she has some miles. Long story short we hit it off and she asked for my number in a slick way but, I called her on it and teased her a bit. I come to find out she is 45 with a 12 year old. Now, she is cool, fun, and hot (in my book).

A week later I'm at pool again and she txts me that we should get a drink. I had to work so she said "ok maybe another time?" I was stuck on this other woman (30) hard and started developing oneitus which of course led to her giving me the LJBF talk around the 4th of july.

So, I shoot this 45 year old a text on July 7th asking if she wanted to get a drink...she responds the next day...Saying she would love to, blah blah blah...I tell her im busy Tues/Wed/Friday but, I can do Thurs...she agrees...we meet...things go well...she invites me back to her place...fool around...try to escalate...she wont let me...and she says "You can't stay over. I have 2 reasons why. Do you want to know what they are?"...I said, "Nah, it's cool. I'm going to jet."...Grab her by the hand and lead her outside to my car...Heavy goodbye makeout session and then she subtly pushes me away saying "I have to leave"...ya know, the kind of "you have to leave or, I'll regret myself in the morning goodbyes"

This was last week...A few (2) txts back and forth with me teasing her about stuff I learned about her on our date...So, you think I should txt this woman and be like "Hey, I'm busy tonight and Friday but, I'm free Saturday afternoon. Lets get together."

I was going to invite her to a park near where I live. I go there to take dog for a walk and its pretty nice. I guess my question is...If she agrees, should I ask her to chill at my apt complex pool later in the day or, ya'll think that comes off as needy? aka...i didn't have plans already...etc...

I've been out of the dating scene for like 3 years due to RL issues and I don't want to fall back into my "niceguyism". Then again, I've never dated a woman in her 40's so not sure if the same type of "game" would apply to her as say a late 20's early 30's woman...

Thoughts?

Hey mate the thing I like about older women is they know what they want ( most of them) and they don't fuck around with games like a lot of younger girls do. I'm 26 I dated a 37 year old woman she liked me for my directness/boldness I liked her because she didn't fuck around playing games. If I wanted to hang out call or text it was on provided we weren't busy with other things. None of this worrying well if I say yes she might think I don't have anything else to do which might make me look needy.

Onto your question I'd say call her. This girl sounds into you, but it seems like she wanted it, but you ran into some lmr/asd. Texting is handy, but don't rely on it too much and realize the power a proper phone call has. My suggestion is call her have a good convo keep it light keep in fun keep it sensual. Start off easy get her thinking about sex without bringing it up directly end the call on a high note by setting up your date in the park. If you can have a strong phone call like I describedand follow it up with a solid date which it sounds like you're more than capable of asd/lmr will be non exsistant for you my friend.

Hope that helps good luck!!

Ya, lmr/asd always is/has been a problem for me it seems. Typically, if its going well and i get lmr/asd i back off a bit to get her a little more comfy...ya know...that 1 step forward...2 steps back type thing...this time though it was 1am and I had to be at work in 7 hrs so I just told her i would leave...I think I need to work on how to get around that lmr/asd more since I have been out of it for awhile...I just figured since she was older...she had her reasons...I'll give her a ring tonight on phone and hopefully setup something on Saturday afternoon.

Tried giving her a ring last night...Rang twice then immediately hung up without going to voicemail which tells me she picked up and ended the call...lol

Got a txt from her this morning saying "hey you, I was at the movies with my kid and didn't realize my ringer was on. Ohhh, the dirty looks that got shot my way lol. Was late by the time we got back and figured to txt you this morning instead of calling back. Hope you are doing great! "

Going to wait a few hours to respond but, I was thinking of responding with something like:"I would give you a dirty look too but, a different kind"

Thoughts? My txt game is horrid. I'm the worst at txting with women. I always want to respond asap and write way more then what's needed hence why I started checking out this site...

there's a thread on here of really solid openers I recomend you check that out as well check out general text overview. I've been in the same kind of situation before usually what I do is respond with something totally off the wall and unrelated. Here's an example of a convo I had.

Her: sorry I missed your call I was just out with some friends.

Me: (next day) I have some really bad news.

Her: what's wrong???

Me: aliens are coming to abduct all the sexy as people you'll be ok I'm just texting to say bye.

Her: OMG you're ridiculous!!!!! You're such a dorkkkkkk but you made me laugh while I'm at work and I like that tell me another.

Me: I'll get back to you in a minute I'm just at the hospital getting stitches in my forehead.

Her: WTF?!? What happened?!?!?!?!

Me: I tried to hug this really sexy man and I headbutted the mirror and it broke.

Her: hahahaha you ASSSsss!!!! I actually believed you for a second what are you up to later babe??

The rest my friend is history.

That's my personaly style I personally don't like carrying on a convo from a previous day too much boring potential, but check out the articles I mentioned. Hope that helps good luck mate!

Ok, so been going back and forth a few times via txt with this broad...I responded to her txt later that night (7/18) with

Me (about 2pm 7/18): "Haha...I would have given you a dirty look too!...just a different kind though...dont they have like a 1min animation cartoon that tells everyone to turn off phones?...so rude!...and you should have picked up anyway...it was me after all...the theater would have understood."

Her: immediately responds: "yes they do, i thought i had it on vibrate lol. My phone is all F'd up lately!"

Me: (3hrs later): "I forgive you. I was just calling to say hello. I went out for a long ride on bike after work and it was beautiful out so the engine didn't make it feel like it was 5800 kelvin!"

Her: immediately responds: "I bet your ride was nice. I saw a lot of bikes out yesterday. I had a tough job interview so my friend is coming over with some sushi...and wine...lol...my head is spinning a little"

Me: (about 15 minutes later): "Sushi and wine...all you need now is your bong that doesn't work and you are all set!"

Her: immediately responds: "Oh hush!!"


Saturday
Me: (2pm) "OMG...this weather stinks!...is it too early to open a bottle of wine?...lol"

Her: immediately responds "Ummm, you do realize who you are talking to right? =)"

Me: (6pm) "The sushi and wine trouble maker? /wink. I guess its not so bad that its nasty out. It's my on call weekend for work and it would really suck if I got called to do work on a nice day/night. I have to be close to laptop in case i get called"

Her: (1 hour later): "Who me? lol. I remember those on call days..."

Now, I haven't had any communication with her since Saturday since I did get called for work like alllll weekend then I went to a wine tasting event in Atlanta last night so...I was going to give her a ring tonight and talk for 20-30 minutes (if I don't go out tonight)...I'm planning on telling her something along the lines of "im busy pretty much every night this week but, I'm free Friday night. Lets get together! I have a few bottles of wine with your name on it." Im trying to come up with a sly way of either getting her to my place or having her invite me to hers. I mean, we could meet somewhere for drinks again...

thoughts?

Now keep in mind again...I'm not used to dealing with women that are 42+ and have kids. I have also been out of the dating game for quite some time (3 years or so) hence why I'm trying to get some feedback here is all. I don't see much SMV in her but, she is cool and imo...a hottie.

I don't think you're doing much to build attraction and escalate with these text messages.

They're playful and not bad, sure... but they aren't getting you anywhere.

I'd try calling again. Have a couple laughs and then ask about Friday.

You need to move it forward or it'll go stale.

Ya, I'll give her a ring tonight but, I'm just curious what kind of stuff others would say to build attraction via text messaging? I mean, I figured to be playful, cocky, funny, etc...Just a few ideas so I can use this as a learning exp is all...

Some people are decent with text and can make a real connection... some aren't and prefer to call, because you can gauge people's reactions.

Sarcasm, for example, can be tough on text because you have no idea how someone is saying something.

From what you've shown us here, I don't know that you have a solid enough rapport with her to delve into sexting or sex-themed messages... So I'm not sure advising you to go that route is the answer.

Staying playful is never bad. Make her laugh but don't overdo it.

You need one more solid makeout session (or just a close, really) to start really getting creative with text. You're not there yet though.

Use text as a tool for meeting up, nothing more. Instead of long text convos with no goal or outcome, on the next girl could go with something like:
"hey u...had fun last nite; grab a drink this wknd?"

That's it. No need to be clever on text. Building up sexual attraction via text is pointless unless you are sitting next to the girl.

Older woman. All you need is just be attractive enough to attract her and she will do most of the job.

However, if you are not attractive enough, that's no much thing you can do to get her. They are very clear of what they want in their age.

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OP solid post, glad I came across this even though I'm several months old. I'm in a similar situation on my end. Except this girl I've known for a few years. She's 41 I'm 30 and the attraction, kino, etc is there. I dig older woman, they know what they want and like Gunfighter28 said they don't play games in most situations. However, I've never really called this girl much... Lately she's been texting me random stuff like food she makes and other crap I find boring often. However, it reminds me that she might be into me if she's doing this. I look at it as an opener for me to just ask her out.
I've been texting with her for the most part lately but last year we've talked on the phone quite a bit. I'm not huge on texting especially with this girl because sometimes she doesn't understand my sarcasm which is understandable. Anyway, trying to land a date this Friday with this girl and trying to figure out if a call or text is most appropriate. I think around Wednesday I'm going to reach out but if she gets to me before hand with those random images or something else that'd be perfect this way I can setup everything then. Anyway, OP how'd this situation turnout?

I'm 24 and attract mainly older women. I don't do well with younger women often. If there's anything I've discovered about them, it's that they HATE indecisiveness. If they offer you something (I find that older women will offer more things e.g., come stay with me, I'll cook for you, etc.) don't hesitate, just accept it if you plan on laying them unless it's something you don't like or just don't feel comfortable with.

Was offered to stay at a 38 year old single mom's house Saturday, but had to help with a gig instead. Something is very attractive about older women that know what they want. No bullshit kind of women as stated earlier.

And whoever said if you're attractive it helps +1. A LOT of older women are on the prowl for a young cub to shred their cougar ass up. I'm quite sure women peak sexually in their 30's / 40's.

Best of luck with the coog's and the milf hunting.

Really good post bro. I find that older women are less hesitant to open you. They are GREAT at situational openers and I have actually learned a good amount from them on this topic by observing what they say and how they say it when they open you.

When you get an older woman on your radar screen they want to push it for all they can - they are living suburban lives of boring kindness with the facade, and they really appreciate someone bringing them a jolt of life.

Fuck, all women are awesome but there's something about that cougar woman who has this hot raw experienced sexuality who knows what she wants which is hard to beat.

I also agree on the non game playing with coogs. Matter of fact i don't play games whether they're a coog or not - no time for that, there are too many girls out there to be playing games with any single one of them.

Next time things start getting heated between you and this girl, I want you to use the “BANANA ROUTINE.” This will change your life bro...

The way it works is when you start getting all hot and bothered with her, she might say stop or physically try to stop you. Then you say this, “Alright, I want you to feel safe and comfortable with me so here’s what we’re going to do. Once you start getting uncomfortable with anything that we’re doing, say a certain word and I will stop immediately and give you full control. Lets use.... Banana. Whenever you get uncomfortable with what we’re doing, just say banana and I’ll give you full control.”

She’ll probably say something like, “No come on, are you serious?”

Say “Yea I want this to be enjoyable for the both of us.”

She’ll agree to it and then say, “Ok lets start.” And immediately start ripping her clothes off and kissing her and undoing her bra as fast as you can.

haha

She’ll probably start laughing hard and she’ll be like “stop, stop!” And then say “you didn’t say it yet! you didn’t say the word!”

Once she says banana immediately put your hands in the air and move to the other side of the bed. This will show her that you’re serious about what you said, even though you joked with her for a bit. After 30 seconds or so (however long it takes her to put her bra and clothes back on she’ll say something like, “ok come back.” Keep using this to escalate to whatever level you want to go to with her.

And there it is, the banana routine. If you want more info like this come visit my website and sign up for my free newsletter.

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