One friend of mine told me that the type of girls that I dream of being with is a pipe dream and that I should not focus on trying to get them anymore. Especially that i'm already 26 and girls my age don't like clubbing and going to raves that much anymore. He said that I should just settle for anyone that looks halfway decent if they got a good personality even if i'm not physically attracted to them.

That happened to me with one of my ex-girlfriends when I settled for dating her even if she isn't the girl I really wanted and it ended up being a disaster. My heart wasn't into it when I dated her and I truly wasn't passionate about being with her but I was just with her because my friends thought that we should be dating. It ended bad and I didn't even really care that we split up because I didn't really wanna be with her in the beginning....


Point is.... should I just stick to dating girls that I truly wanna be with (no faking at all) or should I settle for less and take what I can even if she isn't the girl that I really wanted to be with?

Umm.. it depends. When really going for a meaningful relationship you should obviously never settle. I don't even have to explain why, how can you live the rest of your life with someone you're not even attracted to?

But (and I do this a lot), while you're not in a relationship you could just have not-serious "relationships" with less attractive girls just for fun, and it's good for building up experience as well.

Note: A PUA-master will probably tell you to not do the latter and only go for girls you're attracted to but I'm not a pua.

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"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."

I only skimmed through the original post, but here's my personal experience on the topic. I found myself to be way to cautious around women I really liked as I was worried about saying the wrong thing doing the wrong thing and losing them. That happened once after that I dated a few girls I either wasn't physically attracted to not that they were ugly just not my type or that I didn't click with. That got my I don't give a shit fun bad boy if you will down I didn't treat them badly I just didn't care if I lost them or not once I was conditioned that way it carried over to other girls.

As far as settling here's my opinion not even in the face of armagedon should you settle.

Hope that helps good luck!

I don't know if that advice holds merit.

Why would you date someone you're not attracted to? Shoot high, I say...

Aim for a 10, you'll land on an 8... unless your game is really solid... then you'll get the 10.

What the fuck man?

Call me.

I'm not saying he should do exactly what I said I was just giving my reason for dating girls I wasn't 100% attracted to. So could get past my sp of being too cautious around the girls I was really attracted to, but whatever you do don't settle for a relationship with a woman you're not attracted to its only gonna end bad and if she develops feeling for you she'll end up hurt and that's not cool.

Like I said mate never settle!

Depends what we're talking about really. When you say "date" and "be with", do you mean a proper long term relationship? Or do you mean sleep with for a while, have a bit of fun and then move on? It also depends on how much sex you're getting at the moment. If you're not sleeping with anyone, and haven't for a while, then I am a firm believer that you should be having regular sex. This makes you better with other women, because you're not as "needy" "desperate" or whatever.

I wouldn't say drop down to some real horrible looking girl who physically repulses you, but having sex with one or two "alright" girls is better than not having sex with anyone because you're waiting for an "amazing" girl. Of course, I don't mean one off nights. Sometimes you go home alone because you'd rather not go home with someone average. But if you aren't having fairly regular sex, then it might be an idea to drop your standards ever so slightly just to get in the groove of things.

Your opening post is a bit confusing for me. You say the girls you're trying to get with are too good looking according to your friend (so looks based) and then say he reckons you should just get with someone with a good personality (so personality based). If we're talking just having fun with someone then, let's be honest, personality usually comes behind looks (not always, but usually). If we're talking about a serious relationship, then the importance of the two changes - the personality is a lot more important, but you should still find the girl attractive. Even if she's not super model hot, you should still want to fuck her.

Never settle. Life is about compromise. Your ten is not your friends. You want a great girl, go after her. It is true, if you want older women who do not party as much or do not go out you need to adjust your approach and it may be harder, but you can do it.

Most men do not understand what self improvement is. Find your ideal and chase it. Nothing is worse than not chasing your desires.

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Honestly... This is pretty fucked up but people have their own reasons for dating whoever.

Anyway, too old for clubs? Dude, you're 26. You're young and you should be going for younger women anyway as in women that are 22+. Fuck getting women your age. Get women who are hot and you don't mind being around, the kind of women you'll be excited to fuck. You never know what happens thereafter. Maybe you get along, maybe you see each other more, maybe you go on dates and maybe you end up having her as your girlfriend. No one knows.

If you're hung up on age you're an idiot. You're 26 and it's perfectly natural for a guy your age to fuck 22 year olds. I've gotten to the point where I just don't bother asking. As long as they look over 20 why should I care? Sometimes i've even been surprised and nailed women who looked younger but were actually my age or older. Go out with your mates, enjoy yourself and don't think about ages because they've gotta be 21 or older to be in those places and age generally doesn't mean much for a guy.

Also, keep to your standards. Don't settle, man. In the end you'll get what you want but you'll probably just have a very long dry spell. Do you want quality or quantity? It's totally viable to be a high value guy that's picky as long as you are and people treat you as such(Social value). You'll get an equally or higher value girl in the end just stick to your guns but expect to have a dry spell.

So dumb.

Why waste time with ugly chicks?

Only fuck girls that make your dick hard.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

The only part I noticed was where you bemoan the fact that all the girls at bars are younger. Wtf?! Then game younger chicks. Strong inner game is hypnotizing to younger girls, including the super hotties.

I honestly believe our views have been skewed by the media so maybe some of us that take in a little too much, we start to judge physical attractiveness based on them though it probably took 4 hours in a makeup chair to achieve that look.

I have no problem looking at pretty girls on tv and movies, but we're lying to ourselves by showcasing people that are basically models and not a true reflection of society. I get it though, that's what we want to see and if one agency were to change the way they do business, someone else would take their place.

So my take on all this is that there is very slight chance you are aiming way too high, so one of the tricks I read about on here was to stop watching porn. Porn (all media as well) is altering what you find attractive and sexy, so it could be that you're looking for the woman Cinemax introduced you to, not this cutie over here waiting for someone to buy her a drink. It may be worth a shot.

Overall though, I think it's a stupid bit of advice your friend told you. I had one friend once tell me to say "I love you" like drinking water. His reasoning was that you'll be desensitized to saying the words, that way you can speak them to any girl and you'd get laid. One size doesn't fit all. Anyway, another major downside to dating girls you're not attracted to, is that if some women get attention that are not used to getting it, they will not let go. I'm talking about literally popping up at every event you go to, texting, facebooking, tweeting, etc.

But yeah, I think you should stick to the type you want (unless it's an unnatural obsession with a specific type) though you should also try something a little different every now and then.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

I'm 28. The girls I'm seeing SPAM are 19 and 20... I have no idea why you're even trying to date girls your own age. Save the 26 year olds for when you're in your mid 30s.

Anyway, as for the "pipe dream", I have no idea. Do you look like this

and want this?

If so, yes, pipe dream.

I would ask the following:
When was the last time you dated a girl you were attracted to?

If I filled a room with 100 random women in your age group, would you likely find at least five of them physically appealing enough to consider?

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RSDTyler

Well I don't really mind if the girls I want aren't 26. Hell i'm even fine with it if they're 19 or 20 as long as they're the type of girls that I really.... REALLY.... wanna be with.

My friend is the one who is telling me to "grow up" and stop chasing the type of girls that I really want which are girls similar looking to the one in your 2nd picture who like to go out and party a lot and are very outgoing. I admit though I kinda do look like the guy in the first picture but I believe i'm a little better looking than him.


Anyway let me answer your two questions:

1. I won't lie to ya I never dated a girl that I was truly attracted to. Sure I may have somewhat been attracted to some of the girls I dated in the past a little bit but none of the girls were truly what I really wanted because I always took the easy way out (aka the safer bet) in asking out mediocre girls that I believed would have a higher chance of saying yes to me than taking the bigger risks in asking out the really hot or the really cute girls that I really had the hots for that I really wanted to be with due to me being intimidated by their looks and being worried that i'm not good enough for them.

2. Absolutely. If I had 100 to choose from there's absolutely no way I wouldn't find 5 of them attractive. Hell I might even be able to make it to wanting 20 of them in the room.