Just from skimming it sounds like you made it too obvious. Probably better to just end up at your place without mentioning it. Like right when you're outside your building that's when you decide to go upstairs.

This is another one of those threads where I wonder how I can read OP totally different than everyone else. Everyone keeps saying "You should have done X during the time you were with her!" with a particular focus on leading and being disinterested. Even though he gave us sparse info, that tells us nothing about leadership or interest. As far as I can see, the problem was twofold. Lack of comfort and an ultimatum which doesn't fly with girls.

When they made it to the hostel, rather than say "Come back to my place, right now, or fuck off", "It's too early for you to go to bed. Let's go get a drink/food/whatever". THEN invite back to your place. It's very socially awkward to take a girl back to where she's staying and then say "Hey, why don't we turn around and walk to my house?".

Also, walking long distances to sex locations is just a bad idea logistically. You ask her back when she's at least somewhat horny. Nothing kills horniness like a thirty minute stroll down the sidewalk.

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RSDTyler

I didn't read the OP, but:

An "independent woman" was brought-up to think that she needs to have a career in place before she seriously considers settling-down, and that men consider this to be desirable. This is all kinds of blue-pill bogus and "feminism", but as a woman with "independent" friends (sorry for all the quotes), it's a front.

This type of woman tends to think that she can be pickier, due to her job or income or education level, but she usually falls for the same types other women do. If she's smarter, she'll probably want a man who's intelligent. Probably what's lacking is a "real man" in her life.

A good example is my female lawyer friend, who ended-up marrying a manly mechanic-type. Don't feel like you have to be that perfect man that she wants, just be that manly man that she needs. I'd say, make her feel feminine. Be old-fashioned, ironic as that may sound. If she calls you out on it, saying that you're a "chauvanist" or whatever, have a debate. Say that you understand where she's coming from, but then respectfully explain why old fashioned-gender roles are still important to you, etc. The point is, she'll push for equality, but you're pushing for attracting her.

The problem is, you can't compete with a museum. Isn't that what you said?

Can you elaborate what your question is?

No. You haven't been leading her.

She's been dragging you around like a little fucking puppy.

It's already too late with this girl... as she's already shown she's got bigger balls than you do in this relationship.

But next time, you've gotta put your fucking foot down man. From the start.

Don't let girls do this to you EVER AGAIN because I guarantee if she were around for alot longer... she would start asking you for money and a free place to live.

And you'd do it for her too.... She might even have sex with you once or twice.

And then she'd want you to be her boyfriend and get you even more sucked into being her bitch. And you'd do whatever she asks.

And then you'd find out while you're sitting at home waiting for her, she's fucking some other guy who she says is her cousin...

He will even come into your house and drink your beer because she says he can. And you'll be cool with it because you tolerate this type of behavior. Because you allowed yourself to be her bitch

I've had plenty of girls that I've "used" for stuff and you have to be a fucking FOOL to think that a girl won't use you. Trust me man, I had one time in particular that comes to mind where I thought I was being the "player" but no... she's the one who's playing you bro.

She's manipulative and you're letting her manipulate you. You're blinded by the pussy.

Quit being so naive. Open your fucking eyes and realize what is going on right infront of you.

What would you have done in those moments I described?

Learn how to persuade people better and reframe situations to get what you want out of them. It sounds bad... but learn how to be manipulative and influence people yourself. Either you're the one doing the fucking or you're the one getting fucked. Make your choice.

I'll give you an example...

With the museum...

She wanted to go there because she's from out of town and she thought it would be cool to check out. You accepted her telling you what she's going to do.

Why didn't you talk the museum down and tell her it sucked? Tell her she's wasting her time and it's not all its hyped up to be... And then tell her you've got something way more kick ass for her to do with you

That would be leading the situation. Instead of telling her "I don't want to go to the museum." make it so it's her choice to not want to go to the museum...

Hopefully that makes sense. You'll get better at it with practice.

Good that I asked.