Ok man. I've been on ok cupid for like 2 weeks now. I've met up with 5 girls and hooked up with 3 of them.

1)profile pictures- you need something that conveys your uniqueness. No selfies, no ab shots (unless you have killer abs). Get a picture of you and the dudes fishing, or you and the sisters opening christmas presents. ANY picture that you don't take of yourself, and you look halfway cool in, should work. The reason you don't take it of yourself is because it shows that someone cares enough about you to take pictures of you doing stupid shit.

2) Your profile is lame. Be sarcastic, funny, short. Leave some of it up to the imagination. Insinuate. It is also a good idea to have like one honest and truthful line in there. For example, my profile reads:

a little bio :
I have one passion. Ask me what it is
I'm born and raised in denver.
You will like my smile.

What are you good at:
Being sarcastic

What do you spend time thinking about:
Animal rights and mullets

3) the numbers game. I've sent out probably 500 "hey, how's it going?''. Out of that 500 I probably had 50 replies. Out of the 50 replies I got 10 numbers. out of the 10 numbers I met up with 5 girls. Out of 5 girls I hooked up with 3. So you see, my success rate is 3:500, or 3 hook ups for every 500 messages sent.

any other questions?

If you are shy and introverted, don't post so much. Try to come off as mysterious rather that boring.

Definitely keep the pic of you and the girls. Maybe don't make it your default, depending on the type of girls you want back. Also, when he says your pics are generic, he is mostly talking about you sitting on the couch. They are just kind of boring. Take them down. The other pics are pretty cool.

Also, how many girls are you messaging in a given day?

Alphabro- Surely if you changed your opening message to something a bit more different and perhaps use the girl's name or something....then your reply ratio will be much, much higher? I really don't get why you would use that opening message "how's it going?"

However, 50 replies for every 500 messages for that boring a message is not too bad. So I'm guessing your pics are probably responsible Mr handsome for those replies

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Yeah man I was thinking the same thing. If I could make the messages a little more personal my success rate would greatly improve. The thing is I don't have time to read every girls profile and dig for information lol. Also, I use the generic message as a filter. It tells me which girls are actually down to talk and meet since they are willing to reply to such lame opener. I simply don't have time to devote to finding out personal information about every girl just to find out later that they weren't really interested. I do like your idea of putting their name in there! thats gold and takes no time.

It doesn't take time, perhaps a milli second extra, surely you will be saving more time by having to message less girls since your reply rate will increase so therefore you will be saving time.

You can see their name usually integrated into their user name. (well, on POF anyway)

I only read their profile after they reply to me.

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I thought I'd throw that out there. The study was real. I think I said the same thing about never making it your main source in similar thread. Anyways, online isn't necessarily all about any one thing, but it mostly is. And if there's any place where girls are looking for a steady guy, it'd be Match.

Also, Pebble, I have a really good username. I get compliments on it all the time. I think It helps me get away with such a lame opener.

You can't throw that out there unless the study was specifically targeting an online dating audience.

The hottest girls online want a good looking man. If you're average looking and looking for a plain Jane then fine, stay online. But meeting in real life is far more genuine.

Alright. Well, then what if I say under my bio: I have a few passions, but you are going
to have to ask me what they are.
I was born in Connecticut, but raised throughout different
parts of the country.

Also, what if I say under favorites: Martial arts- I have a black belt in the Korean martial art called Hapkido.

Weightlifting

Studying Anatomy/Physiology as well as Fitness/Nutrition

and well....there are others...

Additionally, what if I say under my last read: United States International Taxation, Second Edition, 2011.
I mean come on, who doesn't love to cozy up next to a fireplace
read up on tax laws. .

Furthermore, what if I say under For Fun: I enjoy growing as a person
intellectually, physically, and emotionally
by doing activities including: studying and
practicing my martial arts, fitness, nutrition,
yoga, Toastmasters, reading, mimicry (I am excellent at that).

Yeah man that looks a lot better. What I like about the "I have 1 passion, ask me what it is", is that it gives the girl something to ask you as well as makes her wonder what your passion is.

As far as the line about conneticuit goes, Idk if I like it. My Denver line works because almost everyone here is a transplant and I'm a rarity because I'm a native. I seriously see girls post on their profiles "looking for a colorado native". Try to find something else to go here that might be a little more interesting.

Also, I really like my 3 line bio. I know I sound like a cocky asshole but there is power in threes. Consider the format of " I have a few serious passions, ask me what they are. I am a blackbelt in martial arts. You will like my company/smile/attitude" the last line is to get away from the me me me I and me. Put the focus on her. Make her think about what she would like about you. Create a connection already like she knows you.

Under your favorites. Trim it down. Make her get to know you. Don't post so much personal stuff, some of which might turn her off before she has the chance to get to know you. If you don't want to play cocky-funny, act more mysterious. Your favorites sound like you are a boring workaholic that takes things too serious. Relax. I'm not trying to be mean, i'm just trying to show you how a woman views it. Women don't care about a guy who enjoys weightlifting and nutrition. They care about a guy that makes them feel good.

Anyway, I think you are making some progress with your profile. In closing, trim it down. Make the girls wonder about you. Give them things to ask questions about. Let them know you are fun and not too serious about your work,even though you are committed to it. Honestly, women don't care about most of the stuff you put into your profile. They care about having a guy around they can trust who makes them happy. Try to convey that more in your profile.


One last thing, how many messages are you sending out a day or a week?

I think most guys fail at the whole...sending them messages part.

It has to be a back and forth thing. Most guys I know are just so lame at writing messages, "what can I do to get a date with you?" type of unattractive frame as opposed to asking her what makes her special.

OP - Post up your transcripts of your conversations.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

But I already posted some of the transcripts of my conversations. Furthermore, I already said that pretty of all of much my e-mails that I have sent to them have already been automatically deleted from the match.com website (which I don't know why they have to do that, but that's what they apparently do after a certain amount of days).

BTW, here is what I don't understand. Why does getting girls absolutely require one to be so cocky, funny, say great messages online, or be an excellent conversationalist?

Also, if out 500 girls you message to online or ask out in the real life only 5 will say yes to going with you, then that just seems sad and stupid. I say this because while yes it's better than getting nothing, still we're talking about 90% of the girls you message to online or ask out in the real life will say no to you, even though they haven't even tried going out with you on a first date with you. I mean unless of course you initial come off as some sort of real creep, pervert, wierdo, psycho, or sadly a filthy homeless guy, or what have you (which as anyone can obviously see from my profile, I do not give the impression of being any of those kinds of guys), then I don't see why someone like me should be struggling to get a date with a lot of chicks.

You don't have to be cocky, funny, or a great conversationalist. These qualities just show you have some sort of value like confidence. There are plenty of others way to get women, those are just the ones that work best for me and many others on this forum. You seem like an intelligent, focused guy. You see value in yourself, which is awesome. You just aren't communicating it correctly to the opposite sex. Stop thinking about the reasons you value yourself, and think about the reasons a woman would value you. I'm sure you will find that women like you for the same reasons you like yourself, you just need to translate it differently.

It's online dating, man. Girls are getting upwards of 100 messages a day. They simply don't have the time to write back to every guy and agree to go on dates with all of them. It doesn't help I use a very generic opener, but i'm still successful. I don't appreciate you telling my success rate is sad lol. Yeah I could be doing better, but i'm happy with my efforts. Even the best pick up artists can't have more than a 20% success rate in non-online gaming. Who would want to command every woman to love them anyway? Yeah that would be cool, but you would eventually miss the chase.

You are coming off as kind of frustrated and angry. Girls pick up on this. Try to relax and enjoy the experience. It doesn't have to lead to a date. Find value in just having a conversation with a woman. Learn from each interaction. Don't get upset with yourself or women when you realize every girl you are into won't agree to go on a date with you when you ask.

You still didn't tell me how many messages you are sending out, so I assume you are picking 1 or 2 girls a day and sending them thoughtful openers. This is great and all, but I see two major flaws in this approach. 1) You aren't talking to enough women. 2) You might be creeping them out before you get things going. A lot of girls want you to read their profiles before you message them, but they don't realize that a guy who seems too interested when opening creeps them out. Just think about it.

I'm going to give you a mission man. I really hope you take it seriously.

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I want you to sign online and message 50 girls with "hey! how's it going?", or something very similar. You will likely get 5 replies. Follow the structure of conversation below that I actually had with a woman I met up with same day. It doesn't matter if you think the girls are pretty or not. The point of this is to get you to the next level.


Me: Hey, how's it going?

Her:Hey, not to much just enjoying my Saturday. How about you?

Me: Yeah, the exact same.
Do you like when guys use smilies?

Her: Haha I do actually. I'm Kendall by the way... My profile most likely gave that one away. So your pretty right with Cupid I see? ( My username implies that I know cupid)

Me:Yeah I set him up with his current sweetheart. I told him all he had to do was shoot his stupid arrow at her and she would be his, but he was so nervous he couldn't aim. Anyway, we did it the old fashion way, "hey, have you met my friend cupid?" It probably worked out better that way.

Me: Is it cool if I text you?

Her: Haha I like that. Sounds like you are an excellent wing man! Yes, my number is XXX-206-XXXX


When you get the number, I want you to call her within 30 minutes. Ask her if she has a moment to talk and just ask her about her day and non-threatening or non-commiting questions. I usually do this by pulling up the girls profile while i'm talking to her and tell her i'm going to test her. I'll ask her questions about what I read on her profile. You seriously don't have to think about a thing this way and she does all the talking. Try and keep her talking.

Make sure you are the one to end the conversation. Simply say you are busy and have to leave, but you will text her later. If you sense the conversation is going well, and she will agree to meet up with you, go ahead and set up a coffee date.

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The point of the above mission is to get one date man, even if you don't actually want to meet up with her. Same concept as sleeping with a fat chick to get your confidence up.

Best wishes man and keep gaming!