Hey guys here's what's up. This is easily my biggest problem and quite honestly a bit embarassing too, but I'm not gonna get any help with it if I don't ask.

I have problems with extreme neediness. I'm not a needy person, but I have a diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and when my anxiety is triggered that's when I get needy.

Example: I went out with a girl a while back date went as well as could be I didn't get the f-close, but made out several times the perfect date by a lot of guys satndards. By the time I got home I had myself convinced she never wanted to see me again because I was a bit shy when the date started.

Example: if I'm talking to a girl over text and I don't get a positive response or even if I do get a postitive response, but not as enthusiastic as I would like my anxiety flares up coming with it the neediness.

Example: I asked a girl out she was at work so her response was ok (over text) it wasn't an overly enthusiastic response although when we talked about going to this festival before she was all for it and showed crazy interest. Her Ok response triggered my anxiety mind started racing and I've lost her in my mind. Buddy of mine was like dude cool the fuck down she replied positivley what more do you want? She's at work!! What I want you to do is let this be for a couple days and focus on some of your other girls so you don't smother her that's what I'm doing now.

What I've done about it: I've trained myself not to act on needy impulses to seperate my rational thoughts from my needy emotions and think with them instead. I've came to the conclusion I'm not a needy person my gad causes me to be needy this is how it is I'm gonna have these needy feelings so what can I do to curb it the best I can and think with rational thoughts and deal with a situation rationally as opposed dealing with it and letting my needy emotions lead the way.

As always any advice is appreciated thanks!!

Maybe find a girlfriend who is also needy? That way you can be clingy to each other and that clingyness can act as some form of reassurance.

If you try to game while being so needy... well, non-needy people will find that unattractive and you'll set off their craydar. And needy people wouldn't let you game.

Or you could just put in shit loads of effort to keep the neediness under control and it might or might not work.

As dumb as this may sound neediness is a major turnoff for me. The thing is when I cool headed and calm I'm not needy at all its when my anxiety flares up that I become needy, but I've trained myself to not let my needy thoughts become needy actions. Just to give you an idea of what I deal with as far as disorders I have add,adhd (which I kicked on my own without meds) dyslexia,ptsd, and generalized anxiety disorder.

I've found learning game has helped me tramendously to to like I said not let my needy emotions become needy actions and I with all that being said everything I mentioned above is diagnosed, but I do a really good job of hiding it to the point ppl wouldn't ever think I have a problem, but at the end of the day that doesn't make me feel any better.

I've posted threads similar to this before and mainly got the responses you're afc you don't have enough options and what not which neither of those are the case I have plenty of options. I'd just like to be able to get rid of my neediness as opposed to just controling it. Because like I said my personality is not needy, but outside factors cause me to be at times.

Here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNovswAlmio

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Thanks for that Skills. That's a pretty awesome video and I do have an abundance right now I'm seeing 5 different girls and also have the mentality that is I were to lose all of them I can easily meet more, but my anxiety flares up usually when I start to get attracted to one a little more than the rest and say she takes a really long time to reply to a text then my anxiety kicks in along with that my neediness.
But I guess that not 100% un normal once I figured out how to not let my needy thoughts become needy actions I really made progress and improved the thing is I'd like to be able to not feel neediness at all, but due to my anxiety I'm likely always gonna have those feelings to some extent. I guess the key is realizing them for what they are and acting based on my rational thoughts instead of my needy emotions.

Yes, theorically you should acting on your rational thoughts; but in reality it's not sound that easy; it's still achieveable though.

In my opinion, you anxiety might comes when you mammalian brain or even reptilia brain kicks in during your decision-making. It's actually a normal behaviour for human as we born for reproduction.

In order to overcome your situtaion, you might try out sleep with several girls, have multiple lovers. Don't see any of your lover for more than two times per week. Spend most of your time doing physical things with your lovers. Cut out other activities outside your bedroom.

And lastly, the most imporatant one, keep looking for new women you love to have sex with and close the deal with her.

I once used this idea to cut off my nediness and achieve abudance mentality. Now I can stick with one amazing girlfriend and not feeling neediness to her.

Hope this help,
Naughty Napoleon

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Thanks for the advice Napolean I appreciate it!
That's pretty much what I do now. I have multiple options plus I pulled a couple numbers last night so we'll see if any of those pan out.

A big part of my problem is having similar interest with a girl is possibly the most important aspect for me. I met a girl that's into boxing which is important to me because my boxing career is possibly the biggest aspect of my life right now and finding a girl that not only understands that, but is into it too is not an easy task. So when I find one like I have now I feel like I wanna make it work therefore flaring up my anxiety at the moment something feels the slightest bit off.

The thing is you can see in my above posts the challenges I deal with as far as learning disabilties/disorders.
When I'm cool headed everything is good I'm not a needy person like I said my personality is not needy, but when something feels off my anxiety flares up and its a chain reaction from there. I do the things and have the options that everyone suggests to cure neediness, but I can't seem to kick it all together, but I know how to control it and hide it not let my needy thoughts become needy actions, but I guess controling it instead of it controling me is a step in the right direction. I've gotten this far by working at it so in time with training I should be able to kick it altogether.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about and how my anxiety affects my thoughts.

Keep in mind I have multiple options, but I like this girl a little better than the rest.

I've been busy and running around like crazy all weekend so I hadn't talked to her for a couple days so today I text her a teasing update ping text gave her a little hint of the craziness that's happened this weekend ended with a question. That was 20min ago she hasn't responded yet. That triggered my anxiety and I've lost her she doesn't want to see me again I've screwed up somewhere and so on, but I realize those thoughts for what they are and calm myself down and think rationally she has a life outside of talking to me I calm myself down and realize there likely isn't a problem.

Like I said in an above post I can control those thought/emotions, but I would like to kick them all together instead of just controling them.

You need experience, plain and simple. You need to have some positive experiences where a girl doesn't respond over text as you'd like, and yet things still end up going well. Ironically, the only way for this to happen is for you to not panic. Just practice consciously reminding yourself that texting is a stupid (albeit necessary) way to communicate where much of the original context of a message is lost, allowing someone like yourself to read and project way too much into it. Always assume that it's never as bad as it seems, and what's more keep yourself from being "outcome-dependent". In other words, remind yourself that your life is fine with or without this girl. You will not die if she rejects you. You will not go to heaven if she ends up dating you. Tell yourself that you can take or leave any girl, and you'll paradoxically start getting more of them. It's a snowball effect kind of thing; the more you act that way the more confidence you gain. It's all about "fooling" yourself into confidence. That's all confidence is, just bluster from your ego. You're a boxer. You kick people's asses for a living. Why should you let your happiness be dependent on a weak little girl? Just remember that women can smell fear (or anxiety) in a man. They're just like horses or other animals. Fake it till you make it. Making strong eye contact always helps me to fight that anxiety. If you look them all the way in the eye, it reminds you that they're most probably more scared of you than you are of them. Clay in your hands at that point.

Also, don't settle for anxious girls if you don't like anxious girls. Never settle for less.

^^ you're totally right and that's the thing I hate about texting infact I really dislike texting, but these days it seems like a lot of ppl refuse to talk on the phone, but I've come to learn an unenthusiastic or negative sounding text doesn't mean shit.

I've had girls not respond to me and when it happens a lot of times I go NC with the thought if you can't invest so much as a txt or phone call you don't deserve my attention 9x out of 10 they end up hitting me up. The stupid thing is I'm not dependant on outcomes for the most part last weekend I had a girl flake on me I totally didn't care hit up another girl she was busy so I hit up another girl we went out, but that's me with a cool head when I'm cool I'm cool when I'm not I'm totally afc and panicking, but I hide it well to the point ppl compliment me on being cool under pressure.

As for what you say about the I can take any girl that's the exact mentality I have when I'm level headed.
I never really realized how funny what I've been saying sounds I've fought on nationally televised cards internet ppv cards against ppl a lot more experienced than me, and yet I panic about a girl not replying right away or not giving an over enthusiastic response while she's at work lol.

You just need new reference points, lots of them (experience).

Take me for example, I'm jacked, completely. I didn't get this way over night it took me YEARS to get this way. I grew from a little turd into a huge, hunky turd. How? Each time I came to the gym I felt a bit less self-conscious. With each week, each month I grew and had begun to realize my potential came with hard work, perseverance and such. The feedback from others, and more importantly myself (reference points) my self perception had changed dramatically. The gym is an excellent metaphor as it can be applied to anything in life, PUA being no exception; the more you learn, and MORE IMPORTANTLY the more you put it all into practice (as anyone can be an armchair theorist), the more you'll succeed.

You've gotta be willing to push out your comfort zone or NOTHING will happen, or at least the probability of nothing happening is quite high.

Like the gym analogy, get out there, experience a LOT of women with the sole intent of becoming better with them. And it WILL happen.

I know exactly what you mean with the gym analogy. I use the boxing analogy I got to where I am with the yrs of work and dedication I've put in, but when it comes to meeting new girls that I don't have a problem with. I've pulled girls online on fb at clubs waitresses at parties just talking to girls in passing on the street. I'm actually pretty good that way I don't have a problem closing wheter it be # close or sealing the deal. Its when I start to like 1 girl a little better than the rest then the slightest little thing that may seem off triggers my anxiety, but thankfully I've learned to not let my needy thoughts become needy actions, but like I said above I'd like to kick the neediness/anxiety instead of just controling it.

You'll NEVER "kick" it nor be able to ever control it. Just accept its there, and that you'll know what to do at "Hi".

It's like you expecting to have an awesome fight jumping into the ring cold from the street without any warm up. No matter how long you've been training, you won't be able to perform at your optimal without some sort of pre-conditioning/prep (mentally or physically, or both)

True^^ the thing is Skills posted an RSD video on overcoming neediness, but the thing is all pua material is overcoming neediness stemming from falling in love too fast or not having enough options. Neither of those are my problem if a girl wants me to love her that's something she has to earn from me. There's no material on overcoming neediness stemming from a G.A.D. This is a real life example of me before I learned to control my thoughts

Me: text girl
Her: no reponse
Me: shit I lost her,she doesn't like me, fuck I screwed up, read through my entire text log with her looking for what I said to screw it up, shit I made speeling mistake there fuck what girl wants a guy that can't even fucking spell? I fucked this up shit I liked this girl too. I should text her no I shouldn't yes I should.

Next day: me hey you. Have you ever been to a firing range I'm thinking of going tomorrow wanna come along?

Her: ya that sounds awesome sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday my phone froze up.


Me now that I've learned for the most part to control my thoughts. Ya I still at times have the needy thoughts not near as often and unlike before they don't become my needy actions.

Me text girl
Her: no response
Me: anxiety is triggered needy thoughts start racing. Ok calm down she does have a life outside of talking to me. It could be any number of things. Have I done anything to scare her off? No ok calm down you're fine. Rational thoughts.

Her: hey just got off work busy day! Wanna hang out tonight??

I've learned to force those thoughts out of my mind, but as you can see I have the typical pua solutions to these problems abundance mentality when I'm cool headed and plenty of options.

My thought process goes text girl/call girl no response/no answer/anxiety triggered/over think always negative/ worst case scenario.

Like I said before no one would ever know I have these problems I hide them well, but hiding them doesn't make me feel better.

Accept you feel this way, and the feelings will pass. Doesnt matter how you hide them, you still have to deal with them on your own.