Am I already friendzoned?



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 2:58 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:33 am
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Hi guys, random AFC here.

I met a girl at college orientation (Amanda) that is a total babe. We talked for about an hour but then had to split up to schedule our classes. Definitely got some ioi's along the way (i.e. never walking ahead of me, light kino, and coming and finding me after we split up for the day) When we talked later I number closed pretty easily, so I went home and texted her the next day.

Got to talking about all kinds of stuff, and although I'm not as confident in my text game as I am in person, I tried my best to do replicate some flirting I would use face to face. It seemed to be working for quite awhile, but then things got a little bit bizarre. Here's an excerpt from the conversation.

Amanda: Man, it sounds like you've got my personality down pat. Congratulations you've passed the friend inspection.
Me: I feel like I've known you for a lot longer than 3 days. Do I get a diploma for graduating to friend status?
Amanda: Ha yeah sure. It sounds like you me and my best friend are gonna be great friends! If you are friends with me then you are with her haha we are kind of a package deal.
Me: Can't wait to meet her!

I know that the last line was a major AFC line, but we were texting really fast and the whole 'my best friend' thing really threw me for a loop. (side note: her best friend is not as attractive as she is and I'm afraid she's trying to 'pass me off')

I won't be able to see her until orientation week starts (~6 weeks) because she lives about 15 hours away from me. What can I do in the meantime to convey interest more properly?

PS - My initial reaction to this was that maybe the friendzone isn't as bad in college as it was in a small high school because I see it as a springboard into gaming the target's friend group.

All tips and advice is welcome, I'm pretty new to the PUA community. Thanks! :D


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 3:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:19 pm
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Haha... Ah, man. That's really shitty.

Sounded like a bit of a shit test in her first message but you droned on solidifying the "friends" position. You had the perfect opportunity to flirt with her and flip things around when she mentioned her friend... "You and your friend a package deal? I can live with that. Is she cool with a threesome? ;)"

Either way I wouldn't be too upset. You shouldn't be bothered if you've been friendzoned because this can be a great opportunity of itself. You've got a hot friend in college and with hot girls come more hot girls which is easier targets because you've already got your foot in the door. Not a loss either way in my opinion.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 3:46 am 
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Thanks for the reply.

I agree that in the long run it amounts to experience and a foot in the door, which makes it a win-win.

I think you're right that I should have taken the opportunity to turn the tables and create a bit of sexual tension because the opportunity was clearly there. This is probably an internal issue, but I always seem to resist typing those texts because of the girls I often talk to. I'm 18, and up until this point it's been sort of taboo to say stuff like that to girls like Amanda (kind of the sweet innocent type) because I always feel that it puts them onto the idea that I'm a creep or "not their type."

Am I being irrational?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:37 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:14 am
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Location: Bay Area, California
Quote:
Amanda: Man, it sounds like you've got my personality down pat. Congratulations you've passed the friend inspection.
Me: I feel like I've known you for a lot longer than 3 days. Do I get a diploma for graduating to friend status?
That was her teasing you, flirting with you. Your reply was off the mark but it looks like she just laughed it off. The people you meet in the first few weeks of college can be some of the most important in your life - so even if you two end up as friends, it sure ain't the worst thing in the world.

What you could have replied with instead is something to tease her back, instead of communicating your comfort and then asking for permission/validation. (The word inspection can be parlayed into a physical context, even if only implied.)

Good that you're exploring what could be some internal resistance you may have toward communicating your desires. Keep exploring, keep learning.

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Live Your Truth.


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