I did a gag which I think backfired.

I wont be able to spend my best friend's bday with my her, so I surprised her today by taking her out for a meal and getting the waitress to bring out a cake afterwards, which I had I brought in advance .

Afterwards, I gave her a jewellery box. She got so excited and jokingly blurted out "aw you're trying to get out of the friend zone?". (Had feelings for her in the past but she rejected me, haven't spoken about it since). Then when she opened it she saw a worthless gag gift, I could see the disappointment in her face. We laughed about the gift a while later but idk if she actually took it as a joke because expected something 'else'.

Should I think much of this? Has she been considering me as a partner or is it just a backhanded joke?

A partner? Are you asking if you are in the friend zone? Is that the question? There is obviously not enough detail to give a 100% accurate answer but, with the details you gave in your post, you should not pursue that girl.

You say you had feelings for her in the past (and you probably still do...) and she rejected you? That's pretty much the definition of friend zone. You had feelings, she didn't, and you are staying as a friend. My first reaction is to tell you to move on but I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this girl. It may or may not be possible to escape this situation. You have a few options here:

1- Make a move, whatever that is, and try to establish a "sexual" vibe between the two of you. Take the friendship to another level.
2- Stay as a friend and meet her friends. Hot girls typically have hot friends and this is a good opportunity to meet and hook up with other girls
3- Move on. She wants a friend and you want to fuck her brains out. This is not going to work for too long. Forget her and move on

What you absolutely cannot do :

1- Keeping the situation as it is. Pretending to be her friend while all you want to do is sleep with her.

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Dude, the gag thing was perfect. And I bet it wiped the smugness off her face after that cheap comment about being friendzoned.

Still, you're paying her too much attention. Brought her out for a dinner complete with a birthday cake? Eh, hello validation thy name is high_baller! You don't want to be her go to guy for a quick pick me up, the guy who she can take for granted and knows she can get away with murder because you're into her. You want to be less accessible and less inclined to treat her like you would a girlfriend. Actually, fuck that you ARE treating her as a girlfriend.

Dinner for two? Birthday cake? Why would you bring her out on a date when she's so clearly put you in the friendzone? Should have just gotten her a small "happy birthday" gift and given it to her before or after her birthday(Whatever is more convenient for you). Don't plan around her schedule in these matters, work around your own. Don't treat her like a girlfriend because right now you are and she doesn't even have to be your girlfriend to get it. If you see value in yourself and she sees value in you then you have to act like you have value and require something in return for sharing your time and effort.

Thanks for the replies.

I specifically worked to avoid it coming off as a date by bringing her best friendwith us too, she knows i'm not into her anymore because i treat her just like i treat every other girl and she sees that very clearly. She is still my best friend and we have been through so much shit, so I wanted to pay her back for the great friendship. I've moved on since she told me she's not attracted to me and I just treat and see her like a friend, but I was really shocked by her comment and wanted to see if it meant anything and if it does then I'd fuck her once and nothing would come of it because I don't see her as this 'special thing' anymore. I never treat her like this, I usually am a douchebag to her and I never put her on a pedestal.

Northboy, I did not do this in the hope of getting laid, this is usually how I act with friends, however I will try to make a sexual move on her as you said just because of this comment.

You're quite obviously still into her if you're posting here about the exact same girl you've just said you're not into anymore. And hang on, you paid for a meal and cake for both her and her friend? Please tell me they paid for themselves or the friend at least paid half... Jesus dude. That's putting a chick on a pedestal.

Ofcourse I didn't pay for her friend man... Yes the best friend halfed the cost of cake with me.

I actually kinda think that joke gift idea was decent - though there are some details missing about your history and stuff...

The fact she's mentioning that you're trying to get out of the friendzone is a little off-putting, but I think in a good way. She knows you're there, and really thinks you want out -- then she opens a piece of shit gift and it's like she just got caught with her pants down (if you played it right).

Hi Charles, thanks for your reply. What do you mean by 'caught by her pants down'? Why is it a good thing?

I mean that she got all cocky saying "well well, look at you with this fancy gift...trying to get out of the friend zone", then opens up a piece of shit.

If you played it right you could say "I don't know what the fuck YOU'RE referring to - or if you're just patting yourself on the back, but I put minimal effort into this gift and couldn't give a fuck"

I kinda like your approach to it, personally. You built up tension which she verbally mentioned she 'knew' what you were doing, and you popped the tension with a joke. It was a good humor release. You Broke Rapport in a big way and shifted your image to her, which does build some attraction and makes her re-evaluate things.

You could have played with her more, or teased more, or gotten cocky.

Obviously, there are FAR better ways to get out of the friendzone, but out of all ways I have heard of and seen, this is far from the worst one. Props for trying something new.

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