A'right, so as you can see this is my first post on this forum. I'm gonna try to not make it tediously long . Feel free to skip the next paragraph if you're not interested in general details (which may help with the reply).

Intro:

Ok so, I'm a 21yo guy who is not a complete failure when it comes to women. I've read some books, watched some vids and I've been pretty successful at applying the stuff I've learned. Made some decent progress over the years.
I still "suck" in some departments, but I'm pretty proud of the fact that I've reached a point in my life where I gladly accept rejection (and not take it personally) as opposed to not taking action at all. I'd take a Yes/No over What Ifs any time, any day.


Situation I need advice with:

I could write this in 300 lines, but since probably no one has the patience to read that I'll try to make it as short as possible while including important details. So yeah, here we go:

Last weekend was my roommates' girlfriend's (R) birthday. I knew everyone who was gonna show up. Few common friends and R's roommate (a small chubby weird and antisocial thing). Every other girl was bringing her bf and they really weren't "all that" anyway. Considering we bought the food and drinks already I decide to leave my wallet at home. No use carrying the damn thing since the chances of me using the condom inside were basically 0 that night.

Anyway, we get there a bit early and I have a few beers with my roommate while R was doing...something. Don't really know what. My mentality at this point is "Fuck it, I'm not getting laid so I may as well get face-planted tonight. I passed all my finals after all just one day ago". Guests eventually start showing up and I'm spending all my time having a great time with them and sucking on the drinks in my hand. Few hours later this absolute beauty shows up to the party. I was confused as fck as to who the hell this is. Admittedly I already had my premium beer goggles on, but not even a severe case of that can turn the creature R calls a roommate...into this!
Well,turns out the creature moved out about 1 month ago and L is the new roommate. God..how did I not know this.

I spent the next several hours doing mainly 2 things. One - very good, the other - very bad. As soon as she walked in I already started working on physical escalation. We all know how important that is. If she's not comfortable with light touching, she's not comfortable with the heavy touching I was already imagining. That's the good. The bad is, for some reason I was still continuing sucking drinks like a vaccum. I should've stop that exact moment...but I didn't.


Read from here if you're lazy:

Anyway, fastforward a bit and almost everyone leaves. My roommate, his girl, me and L are all that's left. My bro signals me that he's taking his girl back to our place, so I have at least a few hours to kill before going home, as any good roommate would do. They leave and now I'm all alone with L. I continue to escalate, joke, tease, tell her how she's trying to take advantage of a drunk me and that she has to wine and dine me, otherwise I don't put out. All this works like a charm and a few minutes later we're in bed together. I start massaging her back, she loves it, invites me to take her top off and also use the cream over there. I do just that, and continue to escalate. Light kisses all the way to a full-out make-out. At this point, as I like to be prepared, I start searching for my wallet and the holy condom inside. Except...I'm drunk and completely oblivious to the fact that I left it at home. Remembering this fact completely killed it for me. And this is when it starts going downhill. I've managed to successfully cock-block myself in a superb fashion. Things come to a plateau really fast and I literally have no clue how to handle the situation.

It started feeling awkward for me, and I assume for her as well, as a result. Minutes later mixed signals appear. She puts her top back on (bad), but lands her head on my chest (good). Remarks how hard my heart is pounding (which it was because I was mad as fck). She's talking in an affectionate voice(good) but suggests going to sleep(bad). I'm steaming at this point. Meanwhile I was playing around with her body. Pretty much pouring salt all over my wound. "See these beautiful naked breasts in your hands? You could've enjoyed these tonight, idiot!" was what I was telling myself. She only 'protested' when I was about to slide my hand down her pants, jokingly referencing me by saying "Wine first, hihi".

So yeah, we go to sleep, wake up next morning and I'm still getting mixed signals. Admittedly I'm expecting them so I may be misinterpreting. She's just as gorgeous without the beer-goggles which makes me both happy and sad at the same time.Also she is the kind of person who loves to not wake up in the morning so communication is not effective.Getting her phone number seemed very stupid, especially after the night before. I left about 30 minutes later. She walks me to the door, smiling. Gives me a hug ,I kiss her and leave.



That's it:
Aaand...that's it. I need some advice here. First off, what's your thought on this? How bad did I fck up? is it bad bad or horribly bad? Whichever the case I wanna take a shot at this. Except I don't know how.
Don't have her number and I don't wanna ask her roommate for it because it's lame as fck.
Second option is to look her up on facebook, which is almost as lame.
Third, best case scenario and literally 100% impractical is hoping to randomly bump into her. Face to face conversation would be the easiest way to patch this up and set up a day2. But it's obviously very impractical.
I also can't casually walk over to their place for no reason. That would be painfully obvious.

So yeah, thanks for reading this tediously long post about me absolutely cock-blocking myself. Now, after you're done laughing your ass off, please consider leaving some advice .

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

Bawhahahahahahaha! Sorry about your luck Bro but it made my day.

Tucker Max likely woulda came up with some plastic food wrap or some shit to get the deed done.

I douubt you killed everything, quit panicking like a lost 8 year old girl and overthinking the whole thing.

Just send her a random text, blaming her for getting you that drunk and trying to slip you a 'roofie'.

Either way you had a great time, pulled a hottie, and came close to busting a nut. (I doubt if her mouth was broke btw).

So B- anyway.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Glad it made your day, hahah.

I'm not overthinking dude, I just wanted to give specific detailed when telling the story for the fun value of it .

I really should've went for the bj, except my brain was completely soaked in alcohol. I don't even know how I managed to not think of that.

Anyway, I would ofcourse text her as you suggested, except I don't have her number. You suggesting I take it from her roommate?

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

Let me put it this way. Nothings gonna happen if you choose to do NOTHING.

Just don't - Chase - Blow it off as if she GAVE you the number.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Heywood knows what's up.

Listen to him - I agree you haven't fucked anything up...

Ok.

You didn't fuck up, you just weren't completely prepared like a good boy scout would be. The condom thing seemed to really throw you off, and it was likely MORE to do with the self-downing/limiting beliefs that took hold than anything she did. At the point of realizing you had no condom, you could simply escalate, and then stop (like a woman would ASD-like) saying you aren't that easy (jokingly) and tell her you'd like to get to know her a bit better first. The reality is this shows self-restraint (attractive), and likely she'll be a bit disappointed but you could easily take care of her using your fingers (and tongue if you're comfortable w a stranger like that - I'm not) to take care of her needs.

Anyway what's done is done.

You basically 'slept' with her, going on FB would be a step back. I'd say at this point get the number from her roomie and text her something funny in reference to the two of you and your experience. "OMG I totally blacked out that night, I hope I wasn't a TOTAL whore!" or something along the lines of "I had to text you the next day so I don't feel like a total slut" I don't know figure that part out yourself.

Either way I'd say you're def still in the game. Just don't move backward, especially when you've got this momentum.

Well, this actually makes a lot of sense when put that way. Thanks.


Thanks, appreciate the input. You're right with the facebook being a step back.
I'll get the number from the roomie. Funny opener is what I was going for too, need to think of a smart follow-up though. Guess that depends on her reaction.

I feel a little rusty, have to be careful and not over-invest. Or chase, as Heywood said.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

Don't over think, practice being in the moment which means trusting you'll come up with the appropriate response in the moment rather than pre planing and having a contrived interaction. I'd actually make this your primary goal rather than having anything with her per se.

This is where all that so-called "inner game" stuff comes to play. Having a groundedness in YOU. That's the irony: when you start caring less about how other's perceive you, you start attracting people.

It's not really ironic if you think about it. The more you care the easier it is to slip and over-invest. Which gives up needy vibes. Not attractive.

But yeah, I'm not gonna script a entire conversation. I'll just think of a funny light opener and take it from there. Shouldn't be too hard. During initial interactions I usually emphasize on something in a unique and fun way. Then, when I send the first text I just make a reference to that and besides knowing who she's talking to, she'll also remember a fun little experience.

In her case it's her uncommon name. Made fun of how close to impossible it is to remember.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

Update :

I managed to smoothly get L's number from her roommate in a non-lame way. However the conversation with L didn't go exactly great, which I was somewhat expecting. I'll post it right here:

Me: Leo? Lea? L..Lio? Still struggling with the name, but I won't ask for any glasses of water, promise ).

L: Lia ).

Me: Very creative reply. Are you in arts? Ever though about writing a book ? )

L: Itchy fingers Ghost? ) Did you address me a question that I did not answer?

Me: Ooh, look, she got jokes. I may have liked you more after you've obviously slipped something in my drink. Not properly understanding you had it's charm.


This happened around 10 PM. She was replying instantly, while I was waiting 5-10 minutes in between. Still, she stopped after my last message. I obviously stopped as well. Wishful thinking says she went to sleep, but I evolved beyond that.


So yeah, feel free to critique the convo, throw in your own 2 cents, and most importantly also add some advice as to how I should proceed.


PS: Before you jump my bones, yes, I am spinning other plates. 3 of them. And all 3 are very receptive. There's really no issue there. This girl however, well, you be the judge of that.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

I agree with the other guys when they say you still have a chance. Now that you have her number, I think you should ask her to go out for drinks or something and do it soon. It's ok to build some more comfort through text but I think you have enough comfort for now and you should just tell her you want to take her to this "amazing place" that you have in mind

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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Nah, you didn't fuck up but why not worry about the condom when you actually got to that point? Why worry beforehand? Let her suck your dick, play with dem diddies, finger and face fuck her then bring up the "Do you have a condom?" Of fucking course she'll have a condom and if she doesn't then just blow your love juice all over her face. At least you'll have gotten that out of it.

In this scenario I would just message her on FB before adding her and make an off-handed comment about the night before. I wouldn't even make a joke out of it just say shit like "Hey, last night was a blast." The rational behind this is simple: She's your friends girlfriend's roomie! You're going to be seeing a lot of her in the near future so get the awkwardness out of the way otherwise everything you're at a party where she could be it's just going to be very awkward and not in a good way.

Also, adding her on FB or messaging her on it isn't a big deal. If you think of it as a big deal it will be a big deal. If you just add people you meet whenever and convey it not to be a big deal that's how it will be construed.

@Game, North

It think you may have somehow skipped my last post. The convo with L is right there.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

Get her to hang out with you again.

Have a fucking condom this time. (You could have taken a romantic trip to the gas station last time)

And fuck her.

I've see that post. What I'm saying is that you should ask her out asap (when she replies to your last text) rather than having a long conversation.

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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.