Wow, talk about a lot of negative momentum. I used to be a regular contributor to this board years back, now I'm finding myself on the other end of an extremely toxic relationship having spent the past year with somebody beyond repair (a freak).

Fast forward several months later, I'm at a new gym, new people (had to leave the old one due to the ex being totally cray and out to destroy me). A new girl has crossed my eye, and I've seen her repeatedly over the past 3 weeks. She's my type (physically), yet I am having such a hellhound time building the nerve to open her. Before my ex I had no such issue, in fact I had several hot girls I'd train with, some of them were viable options that I never really pushed, by which point I met the ex.

This current girl has been checking me out, repeatedly, has also been in my area of the gym, repeatedly (maybe coincidence, maybe not). I am a pretty buff guy so I am used to guys and girls looking over as I stand out. Seriously, I'm not AFC but I'm feeling AFC with the fact I haven't so much as acknowledged this girl in 3 weeks, and today I failed again although I was prepared to open her when she passed my way but she ended up leaving the gym through another exit after encountering her friend.

Given the toxicity of my past relationship and the fact I met her too in the gym may explain why I am bulking at introducing myself. It also could be that my self-esteem when down the sh*tter remaining w my ex for so long and I need to be more patient w myself building myself back up.

I know the solution is to just talk to her, and I already know what I'll say; I don't use routines or techniques nor ever really had to.

At any rate I am rambling a bit, but figured I'd get some thoughts off my chest.

Hey man welcome back and good luck in trying to bring your game back

As a fellow gym junky, i can definitely say that when people notice you in the gym it is easy to open women when other people (men and women) notice you and give you attention.

I have to agree, opening women at the gym can be a challenge, especially if they are cardio queens and stay on the treadmills all day with their other friends for the minimum requirement of 30 minutes of activity a day.

I never have a problem opening women that are in the weight area, one thing i can say is what i would do is open them at the water fountain and somehow end up at the same place at the same time conveniently without looking like you are purposely doing so. This might take many attempts as trying too hard may result in a bad outcome.

Also, do remember to stick to your training and the intensity of your regiment. I have realized that being high off of a workout will give you high energy and help to make you more attractive. Then opening is not a problem, if you do run into an icey broad that doesn't want anything to do with you, It does not matter to everyone else because people are observing you and see that you are doing what you are doing very well; and therefore help you to attract people.

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PUA Maxim: Leave the woman better than you found her.

Too funny. So I 'approached' her today, if you can call it that.

I'm having a good laugh about it.

So we ended up in the corner of the gym both working our biceps (she was training pretty intensely super setting curls). She's a hard body, upon closer inspection she had some pretty crazy tone, her chest was pretty muscly which I don't normally like in a woman - 5'0ish, couldn't be more than 100lbs solid.

So we're both facing the same mirror (which is the entire wall). Me: "Excuse me?"....no response, so I wave at her in spite of her being 5 feet away. She comes over, and yes, I asked her for a spot (I've NEVER done this before with a girl I'd just met in the gym, that's not how I've ever opened, and in fact how often do you see a stranger guy asking a stranger girl for a spot).

She obliges to help. I had maybe 70lbs on the preacher bench (light for me, heavy for her as I saw the poor thing struggle lifting the weight to my hands - my excuse for the spot was having an injury to my upper forearm which is partially true).

She hands me the weight, and as I'm lifting asks if I need for her to stay there with me during the set, to which I respond "Ohhhh...it's ok!" which isn't very clear but I was already in the middle of the set and needed to concentrate.

She ends up standing there in front of me assuming I still wanted her for the duration of the set. I then place the weight down on the adjoined stand (I believe she came forward a bit as though unsure whether to help me put the weight back). She then looks at me, perturbed and annoyed "Oh so you didn't need me for the spot...I could have gone back to my set!"

LOL

So, basically I managed to piss her off, if just slightly. I then asked her if she'd trained at my old gym at all (she looked familiar), to which she said no and walked off to get back to her workout.

So, I managed to create a bit of an awkward situation due largely to my lack of clarity in communicating what I wanted her to do during the set. She likely felt a bit dumb standing there realizing after the fact I had only wanted her to hand me the weight...and also annoyed in that I detracted from her intense workout.

Not saying I agree with her response, it was a bit on the curt side.

Tomorrow I'll re approach and apologize for any miscommunication, just to clear the air so I do have a reason to re engage with her. I'll keep it short if I feel she's not wanting to be chatty I'll leave it be.

All in all an interesting night, and definitely a way i won't be opening a girl in the gym ever again.

She got pissed at that? oh well, honestly dude a straightforward approach works that best, spark intrest and then work from there.

_________________
PUA Maxim: Leave the woman better than you found her.

Why use apology as an excuse to talk to her? Just talk to her man.

Straight forward typically, I agree but I'd see her on the regular seeing as we train around the same time. In such a setting I generally am indirect and build rapport first, it's gotten me far in the past.

This girl however is a fitness model and i can see she's one of the few who takes her training seriously as she does some intense circuit training and i hardly see her engage with anyone if at all. She'll be a bit more of a challenge, It'll take time to establish some rapport can't just cut into her workout to make idle banter; she's there to workout. I'll get her to spot me again with some stupid heavy weight I know she can't possibly lift and then give her a hard time.

Seriously, I never go direct in a gym I train in on the regular.

That said I'm not averse to it. The worst that can happen? She declines and it 'feels' awkward for a bit during subsequent run-ins.

Lol cut it out man.

I don't even think you need advice; just a brotherly kick in the ass. You're a lot better than that.. I've seen you on these forums for a while; and the advice you give is more often than not outstanding. Go talk to the girl bro; the exhale will be more than worth it. And you know how this goes; even if it doesn't work out, at least you know now.

Keep us updated though man!

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I hate when that happened.. Just noticed how late i was lol

My bad.

_________________
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