hey guys

i went on a date 4 weeks ago with a girl, Jane. She and I got on well but the day after she sent me a text to say although she had a good time, she didnt think that we were the ones for each other.

Thinking back over it, it was because i didnt neg or banter at all so created no attraction. my fault.

Later that day she sent me another text that said i was a great guy and that she wanted to set me up with one of her friends - which she is in the process of doing.

since then, Jane and i have stayed in touch as friends - we've started bantering and negging but i dont know if its a lost cause and if im way too far in the friend zone now. she's keen to meet up for coffee/chat/catch up.

let me know if you need any more details.

also, i came out of a long term relationship last year so am really rusty at all this! any advice would be appreciated.

Ta.

She's not into you. Fuck her friend. Move on.

_________________
The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

You have lost. She is done. Move on.

That being said, she seems keen to stay in your friend circle. If you find her friend attractive, date her friend.


EDIT: Haha, pretty much the exact same line between me and the second poster.

ok cheers guys.

so is attraction a one time thing that can't be rescued if you mess up first time round?

she's said on several occasions that she finds me good looking. if i started negging/bantering/escalating etc would it have no effect?

if not, happy to take it on the chin and move on.

Your need for this one particular one is probably what's unattracting her.

Yes, it's possible to get attraction back/generate attraction, but you do it by not needing the woman.

what do you mean by my 'need' for her?

how would you try and attract her.

truth be told, i'm game for her because i see it as a challenge.

At the end of the day man; if she wants to meet up with you again, you are in position to seduce her. Men need to stop listening to what women say. They say what they feel in the moment; the majority of it isn't relevant moments after they say it. So if you're in the room with a girl you are in perfect position to seduce her. You have to think this way; it'll increase the amount of women you get with. Now it may not always be correct, but its a pleasant way to think, and it helps more times than not; so why not think this way?


Now the trick is..

You may not have developed yourself enough socially to turn a situation like this around,but the goodnews, its the perfect opportunity to grow and develop your game. So use it to your full advantage.. "moving on to a new girl" right away is not going to give you much benefit that you can carry into your future interactions with woman. Milk this cow for all its got and then move on.

So I'm going to put you to a challenge.. Go for the fucking kiss no matter what happens on this date. Just go for it randomly midway through the day. If she rejects you great, this will build up your confidence for the future. If she accepts you even better; you're one stop closer.

Let us know how it goes.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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haha ok deal- challenge accepted - i'll keep you posted

While normally I find Eddie utterly incomprehensible, I see nothing wrong with his advice here (though, be warned, you may lose out on her friend if you try this).


It probably won't work, but it might, and you should push boundaries.

- Cool opinion, not sure how is relevant to this post
- redundant? lol


Your attitude is a reflection of your success man.. With more success with women; your views will become more incomprehensible to men who aren't as successful with women.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

ROFLMAO
Eddie > Pikeman

To such an extent he can't even comprehend it! Yup. You've clearly diagnosed it.

I think both I and Pikeman stand in awe of your unparalleled success with women.

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RSDTyler

The last thing you want to do is make a move on a girl who has clearly stated that she isn't interested;

That's sexual assault and will make you look like a moron and a douche bag. I guess it's one way to burn a bridge.

_________________
The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Seems like it was an immediate friend zone..go for her friend if she's your type.
At least you win either way.