Hey guys, thank you for reading this as my first post here. Things are great with this girl i've been in a serious relationship with for awhile now.

But I wonder if I have a reason to mistrust her because she has actually expressed her attraction to black guys (and i'm white). Now she does find white celebs and normal guys attractive too obviously.

She has dated a black guy before when she was a kid, and now we are in our 20s. Since then though, shes been in a few LTRs with white guys.

But there have been a few times where she has made passing comments like "best of both worlds" when we were watching football, speaking about a guy who was well spoken but black (I know, seems a little racist too huh).

Then, when I had said something really jerky to her (probably disrespectful but not anymore), she has made the joke "i should find myself a nice black man."

I thought nothing of these things, but I had seen that she has looked up black guys online before, and also said to her friend jokingly via text "I need to find myself a nice black man to match my tan and take care of my needs" Her friend joked about her old ex boyfriend and she said "no thanks" though too. This was a LONG time ago and I do trust her and she has never done anything to betray my trust (not to mention she is absolutely absorbed and addicted to our sex life)

I mean, if she is open to dating white dudes and has mentioned a celeb or two that is white as well, is there any added risk here in this situation?

Everybody's a cheating risk.

The biggest way to increase that risk is to become incredibly insecure because you're not black. Get over it. This is what happens when you're monogamous. Every time you say something "mean" she will poke at your insecurity.

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These hos ain't loyal

yeah, i don't let her know anything about this. but i see what you are saying. i'll make sure to avoid that. Hell she says racist things too

You posting this question shows that you're insecure.

You just can't care. There are always going to be guys that girls find attractive even after you've been dating for a while... That doesn't necessarily mean she's going to fuck them or that you are "not good enough."

Just cause you like vanilla ice cream the most doesn't mean you can't look at the strawberry ice cream every once in a while and think about how great it tastes.

Don't be jealous.

You posting this question shows that you're insecure.

You just can't care. There are always going to be guys that girls find attractive even after you've been dating for a while... That doesn't necessarily mean she's going to fuck them or that you are "not good enough."

Just cause you like vanilla ice cream the most doesn't mean you can't look at the strawberry ice cream every once in a while and think about how great it tastes.

Don't be jealous.[/quote]


oh absolutely. I guess it is something I just have to learn to deal with a bit more. I do realize that everyone has a range of folk they consider attractive. Certain things. Like you and I. Hell, I like some black chicks too, asian, ect....I don't exactly make these known to her though in the same way. I mean I do mention a celeb I like on tv and such but, eh

She's with you presently. This is about your insecurities, the more you feed them the more unstable things will become.

I swear, where do you guys find these girls?!

Honestly, she's not happy with you. She disrespects you by mentioning other dudes. She is looking at other guys online. Black, white, pink or whatever color, your chick is rude. Look, maybe you're insecure but she is clearly not happy with you, nor does she respect you. She may not cheat but eventually she will get tired and just dump.

Guys...Stop being with women who have no respect for you and who clown you. Flirting and teasing is one thing. Respect your girl and make sure she respects you. Girls don't think "Ohhh I can tell him about black guys and he brushes it off...He's soooo confident. They think "I can say whatever to him and he just takes it."

Well, context too. For instance I had just taken probably a rude jab at her as well for the first comment. The second was a celeb on tv. The third was to her friend, which I kinda just thought was girl talk such as like when us dudes say "wow ____ is so hot, I like them Asians" ect but that doesn't mean we'd cheat on our girl


I have talked to her about it. I basicly said mentioning other guys's body parts or stuff like that I didn't want to hear because she basically disrespects the relationship. She said she had because both of us in the past did, but agrees and she has not since (about a month ago)

Do you think this will present a future problem? Is her going online like that enough of a red flag? She even says that I could never date a girl who is disrespectful and I am the only guy she has dated who is so in control of things.

Sounds like she's looking for a long shlong! "Once you go black there's no going back"...or maybe she's just fucking with ya

The only problem here is you've watched too much interracial porn and you're insecure about having a small white dick.

Get over it.

In my opinion if you have to question it, then you don't trust her. Whether that's because of your own insecurities or something that she has done is up to you to decide.

My history has shown that every time I have to question a girls trust there's a reason for it, and the broad can't be trusted. I wouldn't get serious with this one.