need help with how to Approach one Girl



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 3:10 am 
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I really need some help, but I would only like feedback from guys with lots of experience. No offense to anyone else, but I've gotten plenty of advice from guys who are new before. it just made me realize that everyone has an opinion, which is cool. but I need some pointers from guys who've been there, done that.

now that that is outta the way, there is this one girl I like that is a manager of a store. I see her every now and then since I work in a store right across the street and come in to buy some drinks and other stuff before my shift.

here is some info. she is white, a little bit shorter than me. seems like she is a manger of the store and seen me a few times by opening me with 'can i help you with anything?' she looks intimidating and I never seen her smile. has a tough sort of look on her face, and I like that. I am white, fairly inexperienced with women. Did around 200 cold approaches total in day game, and they were 98% direct, 98% of which were not successful. Haven't done an approach in around 6 months and feel week as fuck as a result. But I got my reasons for not approaching women at this point in my life. As a result of all the approaches I've done, I have grown A LOT. I can actually say that I can be myself around people, and have normal conversations. But I still have a hard time outside of work if I don't do any warm ups.

from my experience, the whole 'hey you're cute, whats your name?' doesnt really work with white girls. a lot of them get FREAKED OUT. and that is the easiest for me since I have very little experience with situation openers, and I am a left brain thinker so it's like following a script. plus, I am more than sure this girl gets hit on on the regular basis. I remember watching Hitch, 40YOV, and even that one scene from Always Sunny in Philadelphia on how to approach a woman. but nothing at this point comes to mind to me from lack of experience. how the heck do you approach a manager?

I was thinking just coming up to her and saying 'hey, I been seeing you around. and just wanted to come over here and say hi..' but I don't know... I'm so used to 'I gotta b/f' I almost expect a rejection. and it's a lot more different to ask casual questions about where you from from my customers at work, vs a total stranger with whom I have no reason of talking to. I don't know. Maybe I think too much and that's my problem.

Thoughts? ideas? thanks...


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:38 am 
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When opening a girl I like I do the following:

1) Maintain good eye contact with a slight smile on my face
2) Speak slower, and in a deeper voice
3) After she spoke, I give a 2 second gap before I respond

Do this in every conversation you have with a girl.

The past 10 days I've approached 24 girls = 5 phone numbers, 2 kiss closes, 8 leads and 9 rejections. That is the results after having NORMAL conversations. Try it for the next 30 days.

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"Everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it" - Gandhi


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 11:29 am 
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Quote:
When opening a girl I like I do the following:

1) Maintain good eye contact with a slight smile on my face
2) Speak slower, and in a deeper voice
3) After she spoke, I give a 2 second gap before I respond

Do this in every conversation you have with a girl.

The past 10 days I've approached 24 girls = 5 phone numbers, 2 kiss closes, 8 leads and 9 rejections. That is the results after having NORMAL conversations. Try it for the next 30 days.
Do your results come from day or night game?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 5:39 pm 
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Daygame

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 7:05 pm 
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Hello there,

I am new to this forum, I just found out there was such a thing existent in Philly. I am fairly an armature at Daygame; I have had the opportunity to meet up with a few folks up in NY and practice daygame with them, I have been doing that off and on for about 3months now.

I would love to meet up with similar minded folks down here in Philly and practice Daygame with them. Please do contact me if you would like to Daygame with me in any where in city of Philadelphia. I live close to the art museum so meeting up any where in city won't be a big hassle for me.

Thank you,
Dom


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 6:27 am 
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What do you consider a "lead"


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 12:49 pm 
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You are definitely a left brain guy. But on top of that, you have what I call "Computer Mind", which is
basically analyzing every thing to it's roots and back.

You are WAAAAAYY overcomplicating this.

For one, chances you're going to get this one particular girl are slim.

And I hate to be the guy to break the bad news to you, but I think it's healty to
speak up and tell you about the B.S you're putting yourself in, than to let you go
throuh hardships like me in the past.

You're also showing signs of "Oneitis" which if you've been around the game for a while, is about
getting hung up on this ONE girl that is special and how do I get her?

I don't know what you did with daygame approaches to have a 98% failure, but as a left-brainer,
I suspect, I'm not sure but I can sense, that you're probably out of touch with your emotions
and body, and in your head too much.

That's why you couldn't figure it out.

Meeting women is an INTUITIVE game. Not LOGICAL game. It's not a math problem that you
need to solve.

It's a lot like learning to play a musical instrument. It's something you gotta feel.

But to be fair, let me give you a few pointers on how to start conversations with ANY
woman, not just this one.

1. Say something

The first step is you say something. There are only 3 ways to saying something,

1. Asking a question,
2. Making a comment,
3. Saying Hello.


With the girl that you mentioned, see what can you use. If she's bitch and cold, you
can make a comment and say something like,

"You know I saw you couple of times around here, and I really love your dominant energy.
It really looks like you have everything under control around here...."


So when you say something like this, it shows that you're paying attention and you're not
stuck in your head wondering what to say.

It shows that you OBSERVE and notice things that people usually don't notice.

2. Keep saying something

After you say this, let her respond. Give her a second or two to say something back.

And then continue the conversation, whether with a question or a comment.

If she says, "Thanks"

You say, "Is this what you want to do for ever or do you have some bigger plans...?"

With this you kind of bring her a bit down, which is not a neg but a gentle push, after you've
complimented her.

You show that she's not all that because she's a manager of a store, and
that there are other, bigger things out there.

If you know how to have a conversation, then keep going. If you don't, well, learn how to
make a conversation. A nice resource is this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ6GHJ-ghQI

3. Play

The next step is to tease and be a little bit playful with her. This is much simpler
than it sounds, basically all you do is just knock-off the serious conversation
and have fun.

You get less serious, and you say something like, "You know they should really hire hot
girls as managers...I mean, I'm here trying to buy stuff but can't focus because my
eyes are flying towards you...it's a joke, where's the complaint book, I need to write
something..."


You do this in a kidding tone, half-serious.

4. Lead to the next level

After you've said something, kept saying something and played around a bit, now
you simply need to take the lead and say, "You know, you seem like a cool girl. Here,
put your number in my phone and give you a call sometime and we can hang out..."


But to be honest with you, for this to work you can't be shaking from anxiety
and fear of having a conversation.

At the moment, I'm testing a new Approach Anxiety cure technique, and if you're up
for it, would love to have you in the test group to try it out for free.

Info is in the signature.

Also, if anyone else who is reading this would like to try this technique and eliminate his AA,
you are invited in the test group.

Good luck,

Phantom

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in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:11 pm 
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She's not that into you. Move on. All this staring and making full on eye contact is just fucking creepy you morons. Women like shy guys better. Not some controlling 'pretending to be alpha' jerk. If you really want to go ahead with this just be your bumbling, incompetent self and she'll love it. Most of you dudes fail at day game because most women don't like being hit on when they have better things to do, places to go etc. They just want to get on with their day without some creep coming on strong and freaking them out. Just because you fancy the pants off her means nothing to HER. In fact it means jack shit to her. How many times do I have to tell y'all to stop punching above your weight?

You guys go for girls wayyyyyyy out of your league and your problems start right there. It's like you really think you deserve any and every girl you fancy. Life isn't fucking like that plus you all have this weird notion that women are not human beings. If you treated them like ordinary people you wouldn't get yourselves into such a fucking state. Women are exactly like YOU. Not aliens you dumb assholes.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:52 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:04 pm
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Location: England
Quote:
She's not that into you. Move on. All this staring and making full on eye contact is just fucking creepy you morons. Women like shy guys better. Not some controlling 'pretending to be alpha' jerk. If you really want to go ahead with this just be your bumbling, incompetent self and she'll love it. Most of you dudes fail at day game because most women don't like being hit on when they have better things to do, places to go etc. They just want to get on with their day without some creep coming on strong and freaking them out. Just because you fancy the pants off her means nothing to HER. In fact it means jack shit to her. How many times do I have to tell y'all to stop punching above your weight?

You guys go for girls wayyyyyyy out of your league and your problems start right there. It's like you really think you deserve any and every girl you fancy. Life isn't fucking like that plus you all have this weird notion that women are not human beings. If you treated them like ordinary people you wouldn't get yourselves into such a fucking state. Women are exactly like YOU. Not aliens you dumb assholes.
The problem is guys DON'T treat women like human beings? But it's also that they don't put them on a pedestal by placing them in a league above them? And all this in the same paragraph?

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:51 am 
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In my experience like this, I will just go say hi and start small talk with her then move into meaningful, personal conversation..

She won't rmb how you approach her if she's so immerse in a personal conversation with you...

As long as you didn't come off weird or weak at your approach, you are fine, bro.

What's matter is conversation after approach and your fundamental of being an attractive man.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:29 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:20 am
Posts: 11
Quote:
You are definitely a left brain guy. But on top of that, you have what I call "Computer Mind", which is
basically analyzing every thing to it's roots and back.

You are WAAAAAYY overcomplicating this.

For one, chances you're going to get this one particular girl are slim.

And I hate to be the guy to break the bad news to you, but I think it's healty to
speak up and tell you about the B.S you're putting yourself in, than to let you go
throuh hardships like me in the past.

You're also showing signs of "Oneitis" which if you've been around the game for a while, is about
getting hung up on this ONE girl that is special and how do I get her?

I don't know what you did with daygame approaches to have a 98% failure, but as a left-brainer,
I suspect, I'm not sure but I can sense, that you're probably out of touch with your emotions
and body, and in your head too much.

That's why you couldn't figure it out.

Meeting women is an INTUITIVE game. Not LOGICAL game. It's not a math problem that you
need to solve.

It's a lot like learning to play a musical instrument. It's something you gotta feel.

But to be fair, let me give you a few pointers on how to start conversations with ANY
woman, not just this one.
...
...

Good luck,

Phantom
had to omit your reply to me cuz this site wouldnt let me post...


thanks for feedback. some of the stuff you said was very on point.

I am mos def a left-brain computer guy. that's why I really liked doing direct 'hey, I thought you were cute wanted to say hi'. there was no thinking, no tuning into your instincts or intuitive self. just a straight up script that you say over and over. problem was, i didnt do enough approaches, and was doing them alone without wings or especially a teacher by my side to push me and point out what i'm doing wrong. some days id walk for hours just to work up the nerve to do one approach or even start doing warm ups. what can I say, I am an introvert who grew up sheltered with zero social skills and not even one sibling, or even a cousin to kick it with.

anyway,

one itis? yes and no. yes, because I focus on her too much and dont approach other women. no, because i dont think much of her and dont think she is 'the one'. at this point, I forgot all about her like i forget about most women I come across. I dont even work near that store anymore. im the type of guy who has a woman approach me on a very rare occasion, and I wait 2-3 weeks to come talk to her after realizing the 'signs' she was sending me. by that time it's waaaay too late and she already lost interest or found somebody else.

and man... I havent done an approach in so long, some days I shake with anxiety or even start stuttering talking to regular people at work (I work with public). I feel really weak, but i am really putting a lot of energy into my career. I am in my 30s and still live at home. I am really ashamed talking to women at this point.

question, does your program have to do with day or night game?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:37 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:20 am
Posts: 11
Quote:
She's not that into you. Move on. All this staring and making full on eye contact is just fucking creepy you morons. Women like shy guys better. Not some controlling 'pretending to be alpha' jerk. If you really want to go ahead with this just be your bumbling, incompetent self and she'll love it. Most of you dudes fail at day game because most women don't like being hit on when they have better things to do, places to go etc. They just want to get on with their day without some creep coming on strong and freaking them out. Just because you fancy the pants off her means nothing to HER. In fact it means jack shit to her. How many times do I have to tell y'all to stop punching above your weight?

You guys go for girls wayyyyyyy out of your league and your problems start right there. It's like you really think you deserve any and every girl you fancy. Life isn't fucking like that plus you all have this weird notion that women are not human beings. If you treated them like ordinary people you wouldn't get yourselves into such a fucking state. Women are exactly like YOU. Not aliens you dumb assholes.
let me guess... an angry feminist who has ZERO clue on the amount of fear many guys who are shy and introverted feel when talking to an opposite sex? please GTFO! you are a woman who wouldn't understand what it's like to be shy in the western world if your life depended on it. NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK HERE!

I love the part "women like shy guys better". you mean the ones they marry after getting their brains fucked by hot alpha men and get a kid or two from so that the shy guys provide them with a stable financial support system? or the ones they use to cry on their shoulder after getting fucked over by some 'fun and exciting' asshole alphas? fuckouttahere. at least TRY to understand men species and how many of us operate before you come to a place like this sharing your opinion that no one cares about.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:50 am 
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Joined: Mon May 12, 2014 1:27 am
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Location: denver
A guy above me said it. You are taking it too seriously.

Go into her store when you are pretty sure you can have 5-10 minutes alone with her. I assume it is a convenience store like a 7-eleven so go in around 2pm. Ask her " how is it going?", or ask her if she will help you pick what kind of candy you want. Small talk her for 5 minutes with aims of making her smile. Ask her what time she gets off work and then ask her if you can call her after that time. She will almost always say yes. get her number and call her.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:00 pm 
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Quote:
A guy above me said it. You are taking it too seriously.

Go into her store when you are pretty sure you can have 5-10 minutes alone with her. I assume it is a convenience store like a 7-eleven so go in around 2pm. Ask her " how is it going?", or ask her if she will help you pick what kind of candy you want. Small talk her for 5 minutes with aims of making her smile. Ask her what time she gets off work and then ask her if you can call her after that time. She will almost always say yes. get her number and call her.
lol "she will almost always say yes" good one

I'm guessing you never lived in california. women out here are very distant, stand-offish, stuck up, and down right rude. and some you'll run into who are lesbians and seriously hate men.

that feminist that replied to me. I bet she is from cali.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:39 am 
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Location: denver
You guys who think girls are different from state to state or even country to country, have it all wrong. Women are the same all around the world. They respond to confidence and want men to take charge and talk to them.

Just show her your charming personality and ask her for her number. Not difficult even if she is "distant".


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