Argh! Am I being naive?



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 Post subject: Argh! Am I being naive?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:35 pm 
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Okay so again, this pertains to my original FR, this is the first girl mentioned.

So things have, by and large being going really well. There's been an almost constant text/facebook convo going since we met and although there was a period this last weekend where we were both playing hard to get and long silences, it's going pretty good.

So we made a loose loose agreement to meet on Tuesday and on Sunday night she said, "i'm sorry to be a loser, but if its on tuesday, then i mite not be able to do the evening, im stayin out tomoro nite and my mum mite go a bit weird if its two nites in a row on college nites :s sori lovey, but like i cud do the afternoon cos i finish at 1.30 or maybe thrusday evening?

x"

So then we made a plan to meet up Wednesday evening (tonight) and she sent me a text this morning saying, "Heya lovey, sorry about not texting back last night, had fallen asleep before I got your text. You best bring my ring tonight (the one I still have from the night we met). Good luck for your meeting today! xx"

I replied, "You better be! I stayed up way beyond my bed time to ring you! See you at 6 xx"

She then replies, "Yeah you may not actually want to meet up with me tonight, I had a massive argument with my mum this morning and I will have to leave by 7 so that would mean I only have an hour to see you. Let me know if you still want to see me. x"

I replied, "Yeah I'm still up for seeing you as I'm in London anyway so it's not putting me out.x"

"Aw sugar, well i'm gonna have to wait 3 hours to see you for an hour. I know it's not your fault but...maybe we can do Monday? I'll see you Monday and we'll leave tonight? xx"

"Can you promise me Monday? xx"

"Not until i've spoken to my mum, but it should be absolutely fine! xx"

So then general text convo resumes. I said at one point, "I might actually miss you tonight. Only for tonight though. xx"

"You will miss me desperately. I won't miss you though :) xxx"

"Bullshit. Well I won't miss you if you don't miss me then! :P Which one is it missy? xx"

"I will miss you a lot x x"

Etc. Flirty fun convo. So, I reckon it's a legit excuse about tonight. And for the record she's 18, i'm 19. So what do you think? Is she interested or not? Am I being taken for a mug or am I doing things right?

x


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 6:53 pm 
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I don't know what the crack is, but you seem more eager than she is.

She is the one promising, and then doing the canceling. Some of your texts come across as being AFC.

Switch the roles. Make sure she realizes that she is going to be the one missing out.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 6:56 pm 
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I hate when girls do this, one did it with me, so i thought fuck it she's mingin anyway, but she had a nice name though, and i did'nt call or text her aweek, funny enough she texted me one week later. She was just too shy or something. This girl was 18 too.

This might be her anti slut defense, by the sounds of it doesnt seem that intrested, i find when girls are intrested they will go out of their way to make time to see you. Problem is she has all the control here. And the miss you thing, shit man! damn


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:28 pm 
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Quote:
And the miss you thing, shit man! damn
Mistake on my part? Or confusing on her part 'cause she said she'd miss me a lot?

x


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:55 pm 
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if I were you, I'd flake on Monday before she does, just to make a point.

You're more valuable than her, and she needs to know it.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:09 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
And the miss you thing, shit man! damn
Mistake on my part? Or confusing on her part 'cause she said she'd miss me a lot?

x
Na stay away from that, until you get to know her, its way too early for that kinda stuff.
You gotta keep her guessing.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:20 pm 
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you should stop saying you miss her (don't say "i don't miss you", just stop saying it) and act like your busy, and tell her if she asks what your doing, make something up like, oh me and a few friends are gonna go for some drinks....(don't take my word for it though, as im still learning, im just suggesting what i would do)


the miss you thing is a mistake on your part, your showing to much interest

also do what mozyfresh said, and don't contact/text/call her for like a week

and if worst comes to worst, cut the rope and start on a new girl, remember the big problem with guys who want to be PUA always try to "get that girl" (mystery said that) and don't work on their pick up skills, just drop her and go out sarging/clubbing


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:14 am 
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''dont work on her pick up skills''

I like that


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:47 am 
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Yeah right now, she has all the control and you just in the lap lol

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:52 am 
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Alright, so how to switch the control?


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:09 pm 
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u just make an arrangemet on ur terms, give her some chices of times U r available so then she adjusts to ur free time, if she cant make those it probably wouldnt have worked out anyways, so just tell her its not gonna work out


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:15 pm 
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>Alright, so how to switch the control?

Basically, most of the advice given, is the advice you should follow.

It's funny...

When guys make excuses for girls who have just canceled on them it reminds me of an excerpt from Neil Strauss's work:-

"Don't you think if Brad Pitt asked a girl to go on a date with him she would cancel everything, even if it meant she might lose her job just to make the date? Of course she would. Girls will MAKE the time if they are interested."

What does that say about your text conversation?

>Alright, so how to switch the control?

Text her one day during the week, saying something like:

"Hi, I'm gonna have to cancel Friday because a friend of mine from [wherever] is coming back and she really wants me to take her out on the town. Soz. If you're free sometime after call me, I might be free."

If she doesn't call back then fuck her off. Move on. Simple.


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