This is my first post in quite a long time. Couldn't remember my old username so voilà, here I am..

I'm no stranger to the art of seduction, but I've been off my game for sometime. To tell you a bit about myself before I list my need for advice; I'm 32, fit, attractive and a fashion photographer. I've hooked up with hotties before via working together and via a lot of dating and have been extremely happy with the results. But I am rusty at the game.

Recently, I relocated to the midwest via NYC for a cushy job. I met a girl whom I dig very much, via a photo shoot last week. We had good rapport and chemistry and asked her to grab a drink with me afterward, which we did. We probably had 3-4 glasses of booze a piece and things got a little more interesting. We chatted about our pasts, things that are typical kept from others, sex and whatnot. Things got too comfortable and I definitely made a MISTAKE of professing my attraction towards her, as well as telling her I very much enjoyed her personality as well.

I know I should've played it cool, but comfortability and chemistry gave me a false sense of security (this has been my downfall in the past). She did reply in kind, though (which has lead to mix signals which I will elaborate on). It did escalate to making out at the end of the night.

The next day, she responded with this (or something to the tune of it): "Thanks for shooting with me yesterday. Had fun. Let me how the photos turn out!"

This raised a red flag. She didn't mention anything about me or our interaction or whatever..

We chatted via text that day, but I sensed some hesitation based on my flirting to attempt to confirm a positive outlook from her. I then backed off for a few days and heard from her on sunday. She asked if watching zodiac was ok to watch in the rain and lightning and also how my weekend was... I replied that she could come cozy up with me and watch it to which she politely declined due to wanting to catch up on sleep.


This is my quandary. I'm getting very mixed signals. She texted me a bit today, and I non-chalantly asked if she "wanted to hang sometime this week".

What are the next logical steps? Persist or back off and write her off as a no go?

Any advice would be appreciated. Sorry about the long post!

You have done a little mistake, a common one I think, by showing a little bit too much interest in her. That got her scared, and is the reason why she gives you mixed signals. She is wary now.

However, you can still use this mistake to your advantage. By backing off, playing it cool and not show her that much interest anymore (but you still need to keep in touch with her though), she will start feeling comfortable again. But since she knows you were interested in her before, your new attitude will make her curious and even more interested in you than before your "mistake".

Damn straight I did! The worse thing was is that to me, this is rule numero uno! Never get to comfortable until the penis is inside a vagina or whatever...

I will definitely back off. It appears as if this is the only alternative, anyways. A shame this game has to be played. Women get so offended when this is brought to their attention but it's reality.

I agree. She's blocking 1 on 1 because she doesn't want it to escalate and you have devalued yourself by opening up. Then you blew it again by asking her to cozy up with you! Two strikes...make it strike three by sending her flowers!

I think your only out is to invite her to a group function. "There's a group of us going to bla bla, and thought you might be interested in checking it out. It's on this date, at this time. Let me know." If she accepts, you need to introduce her as your friend, and act like you're trying to set her up with your buddies. "Joe is a really cool dude. He drinks a lot but he's single. You want me to set you up with him?" You "Friend Zone" her by your actions, not words. You don't say, "I just want to be friends".

Pull her in physically, and when she's next to you, push her away in your relationship. That puts her in "chase mode".

It's too bad you didn't play it right from the start. Now you have a big obstacle to overcome. Good luck.

The advice about cozying up was actually given to me by a fellow PUA who works with Style. So I'm going to go ahead and play neutral on that one. She left it out wide open with that question about being scared to watch a horror movie.

What would your move have been?

While your response does sort of come off as dick-ish, I do appreciate the time you took to write though. No sarcasm there in all honesty. I will take your advice and put her into the friend zone. I am actually one step ahead of you as I was considering this earlier today as a good move. It's good to see we think alike in some regards.

It should be mentioned that she was gave me her email to send some photos over. I replied with "going to get a coffee and will shoot them over when I get back"

She replied with "Coffee sounds great! Can prob meet you in a couple of hours when I'm done with this stuff."

I replied with "No, I meant I'm getting coffee now actually. Have a lot going on today so I can't meet later"

We'll see how this plays out. I have been too busy to bother with her SPAM.

Spoken true.... exactly how a natural plays.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I try. It's just so fucking hard when her tits are so fucking big...

plz keep us updated with this.
i'm kinda in the same situation and did the same mistakes, now i'm playing it cool and wonder whether to build attraction and ask her out again, or go the other way and friend zone her. maybe we can use both.

Dat response xDDD

_________________
"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."