Hi everyone!
I met this girl last week, and we had a nice talk. That night I was flirting with another girl though, so I didn't pursue the contact with the first one. Anyway, yesterday I added this girl (the first one) on facebook and started talking to her. She reacted very enthousiastically (which may or may not have been an ioi, as she came across as a very enthousiastic person) and became especially curious about some of the kinky stuff I do when I mentioned I was cleaning up some rope in my appartment (she has this fantasy of getting tied up).
I decided to dig deeper into this, and asked her what kind of stuff she would like, to which she responded 'Ooow, a LOT!
But not just with anyone, I'll say
I don't have enough trust in people for that'
It seems pretty clear to me that she would like to do some kinky stuff, that it's probable she'd be interested in doing it with me, but that she wants to get to know me better first, develop some trust. So, I responded by saying that's a very healthy reaction, that even I (a strong, tall guy) set up a safe call when I meet someone new, as it's better to be safe than sorry. She then asked me some more about the bdsm community, where I know plenty about and know many people.
I'm not sure how to proceed though.
I feel like I demonstrated plenty of confidence when I met her, showed her I value safety and trust, dhv'ed by being more experienced in the community she's interested in, showed social value by demonstrating I get other female attention and many people know me, and showed I'm a sexual person, without being desperate.
However, it appears she would like to build some more comfort and trust. This is the weak part of my game though, as I'm a very easy-to-talk-to person, and more often than not end up in the friendzone due to showing insufficient sexuality. On the other hand, I don't want to sexually intimidate her or come across as creepy due to showing too much sexuality.
So I'm in doubt about whether I should:
-ask her out on a date, kino, escalate, eventually end up in the bedroom (I'm worried that me asking her out soon may come across as too sex-centered though)
-wait a while before talking to her again (this will prevent me from appearing desperate, yet it may reduce feelings of comfort and trust)
-talk to her some more online (this may develop comfort and trust, yet I'm worried about ending up in the friendzone)
-ask her whether she wants to join me in the library (our finals are coming up, and during daytime I'm usually studying there. This will allow for some comfort and trust building, while spending some time together instead of online, and the non-sexual nature of a library date will prevent feelings of sexual intimidation. On the other hand, it might be awkward, as we would mainly be talking during study breaks, focusing on our books the rest of the time)
-something else
What do you guys think?