Hi everyone,

So, I'll start by saying that the attempt failed in getting me a number or a date for a coffee or something, but it still felt good to have a pleasant interaction on my first approach (in which the other person ends up speaking my language) in about 5 years (since the beginning of my last relationship...).

I was at the drugstore looking for a brush (because I really needed one, not stalking the water hole for prey). An 8 comes a long and is looking at the brushes too. I make some space for her, and tell her its my first time buying a brush and I have no idea what to buy. She answer "really?", (sounding surprised). I tell her, yeah I always used my girlfriends' brushes but now I am single (which is true, but thinking that it would establish value as a guy that always had girlfriends).

She recommends a brush to me, saying that its the one she uses. I take it and discuss a few others. I ask her what she is looking for and she says a small brush for her purse. there are some small ones at the bottom shelf, so I bend down and get it for her. I hand it to her slowly, trying to extend the moment and make our fingers brush. I ask her if she like it, she says its good. I ask her what her name is she tells me, and I tell her mine (I don't shake hands with her which is a mistake, but my hands are full... should have have arranged that better).

I ask her what she does. She says she is a student. I ask what she's studying she says to be a dietitian. I delve deeper into that asking her reasons for studying it, etc. discuss some things I heard about diets and blood types, and point out that Im carrying a grocery bag full of food from the Organic store. I ask her how long the program is, and she tells me 21 (she though I asked her how old she is), I make a bit of fun about how long a program that is, letting her know that I'm joking though. She seems amused.

Anywise, I suggest a coffee and she says she cant because she has to catch the bus, so I say that I didnt mean now because I have to get back to work. She is a bit surprised, since Im obviously not from here, and I tell her that I am working in town for the next 1.5 months at least. As we are walking toward that cash register, I suggest a coffee another time so we can talk some more and she says its Easter holiday soon and she will be away for two weeks visiting her family. Obviously, she is not interested. She pays. I wish her a good day. she goes. I pay. I go.

Did I do anything fundamentally wrong or missed doing something fundamentally right, or was this just a case where she was not interested.

Cheers
rstar

Great job!! 5 years?? and you did that well? That's really good! Open a bunch more girls to get all the butterflies out before you even start worrying about technique.

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

I don't really see anything wrong dude. Except for the fact that you're almost like an interviewer asking a lot of questions, but I think that's okay.

She's just not interested in you man, so it's barely your fault. Keep doing what you do best.

With love,
Matt

_________________
"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."

First time in five years? That is good.

I'd agree, more approaches. Like others said, it's a bit interview like. I'm just basing on what you wrote but I'd suggest giving a bit more of you. If you don't then you're asking her to make a decision when she doesn't know much about you. You've got a ton of info on her, if she doesn't get something from you then it's harder to get to yes. Get more of yourself into the conversation, not in a self-centred way, just more of an exchange. You got good info on her, just give something back.

You introduced getting back to work after she'd said no to coffee. It might have worked better to put that in at the start: "I need to get back to work soon but let's go for a quick coffee" type. Make it a time constraint, don't make it sound like you're excusing yourself.

I'd also tend not to ask a second time for a coffee. Go for a number instead. She may genuinely have been busy over Easter. If someone asked you to go for a coffee at some point over the holidays while you're out on your lunch break or whatever... you'd have to think "when?", "what am I doing?", "what else have I planned?". It's not easy, it creates a barrier straight off the bat. "Give me your number and let's..." or something. Makes things a lot easier for her. Sure, she might flake but she might not.

All in all a good start.