Weird kind of situation. There's this girl I met through friends. We chatted on facebook a few times and last week she invited me to go chill with her and her friend. Her friend didn't show up! So I used the opportunity to kino/flirt with her.

Apparently it (seemed to have at least) worked! She biked there, but as we were parting ways she offered to walk me to my car (IOI). She then asked me when I was free the next week. I told her Tuesday. She's like well I have two exams but in between I have time for lunch/coffee breaks (IOI, giant hint). So I told her sure I'll let her know and then drove her to her bike.

When I texted her the next day about coffee Tuesday she agreed but sounded super uninterested. The classic one or two word responses. Kinda surprised me but whatevs. So yesterday I drive to where we agreed to meet up yesterday and wait for her. Five minutes after we're supposed to meet she's not there so I text her and she's like oh shit sorry I was busy studying I'll come in 5. She comes in 5, with a friend! WTF!

So we go grab our coffees, sat down and talked for an hour. I knew trying to flirt with her in front of her friend would just be retarded so I played it cool and pretended it was just chilling with two platonic friends. It was OK fun, but I feel like I fucked up at the end by not asking her out.

So three possible reasons IMO. The first is that she's weirdly conservative. The second is that she realized she led me on and changed her mind? That doesn't make any sense though. Flirty and pretty much asked me to ask her out. Third, she might have already friend zoned me and never really liked me but is just flirty. But that doesn't really make much sense cause our facebook convos were short, fun and one got borderline dirty.

I really don't know where I went wrong here and what to do or if I'm just unlucky and this girl is just crazy. On the bright side, she's more comfortable with me now. On the other hand, I could get friend zoned real quick if I don't do something.

Hmm. I wouldn’t necessarily take the friend as a threat or “safety” valve. Sometimes girls want to introduce guys to their girlfriends for various reasons: quality check, your ability to get along with her friends (who may be super cunty).

You could also chalk this up as her being a bit nutty (not always a bad thing). Part of dealing these issues is taking them in stride. The way you’ll know what she’s thinking is based on her actions. She could have cancelled on you saying she was busy or whatever, but she didn’t. Once the communications lines start getting murky is when you can start resigning to the fact. However, she just seems a bit scattered in terms of her emotions/moods. Personally, I don’t like dealing with mood-fluctuating women (Do mood-stable women exist?) so this would go under my “red flags” list, but that’s me.

Also, what stopping you from asking her out via phone/text? You don’t have to do it on the spot all the time.

If I were to give you any advice PRIOR to meeting the friend, I’d say that generally the friend is ultimately concerned about whether the guy seems to care about her friend. You can be ugly and/or a douche, but if you treat her right or appear to the friend that you respect the girl, that’s way more valuable than anything else. Not in every single case obviously.

Set-up another date and do something fun. If she brings a friend, you’ll know where this thing is headed. BUT, this is NOT A LOSS. A lot of times these girls really just want to be friends…but there is nothing wrong with hot friends. They have a hot friend network. If you are still hung up on the girl, you can count on her being jealous if you come across really well to her friends. Social proof, sir. This works publicly and within that group of hot chicks, sounds like a win-win.

If she brings a friend along at any point don't treat them equally. Don't adjust your normal behavior with the girl you want to fuck but kino/build comfort/start gaming her friend.

Positives of this:

Her friend likes you.
She gets jealous.
Probably won't bring that friend again.

Negatives:

None really.

It's not a loss. I just set myself up for disappointment since I set expectations too high.

I thought about gaming her friend to make her jealous but she knows she's a lot hotter than her friend and would probably see right through it. I want to ask her out again but how do I subtly make it clear that I want a legit date? I don't wanna be like...hey let's get coffee again, just the two of us. On the other hand, we're both going to this party next week so I could wait to hit on her there. But then would she think I'm a pussy for not asking her out? I may be over thinking.

Definitely over-thinking when you could have asked her out a thousand times by now.

These things don't have to be subtle man, a "hey I want to take you out this weekend" is perfectly fine. Regardless, you'll know what she's feeling about it. If its iffy, she'll balk or...bring a friend again.

There's no shame in asking her out regardless of the result. Just take it in stride and don't take things too seriously. Being subtle isn't that cool, its just a cop-out for being a pussy. We've all been there.

Now stop thinking and tell her you are going to take her out.

Essentially you fucked up by not kissing her on your first date.

She came on strong, showed massive interest in you, tried to keep you there and asked to arrange another date. She was smacking you across the face with her pussy, dude. She wanted you to kiss her there and then and her giving increased IOIs and wanting to hang with you was her becoming more and more desperate in trying to get you to make a move... which you didn't. She assumed you weren't interested/gay/pussy and lost interest. Next time you see her make sure you're alone and no matter what kiss her!

Invite her out for a ride. Say you're going cruising or going to park up by the beach/hill/whatever and tell her she should come.

Yeah. Exactly what I should've done. Probably could've grabbed her, pushed her against a wall and made out with her. But I didn't. Lesson learned.

I think I just killed it completely. Messaged her on facebook intending to ask her out, but had this idea that I needed to small talk her first instead of getting to the point. Ended up as a one hour no-progress conversation where I didn't ask her out because I was getting the vibe that she would shoot me down. 100% friend zoned. Or worse if she doesn't even want to see me again. Lesson learned.

Shut da fuq up, asshole. You're not friendzoned until you're friend zoned. Shut up. Stop over thinking it and grab your dick and balls and jump to the fucking point of ANY conversation with her: Ask her the fuck out and stop being a pussy.

Say "Hey, i'm heading to X. Up for it?" If she turns you down TWICE in a ROW then forget it, just finish it off with "Hey sweet stuff. Have a good life. " and move the fuck on... IF she shows ZERO interest and REJECTS meeting up TWICE. Alright? Don't feed me any bullshit about "But I don't think she likes me..." cause that's bullshit dude. You only think that because you're being a pussy at the moment whimping out on MAN stuff which is ASKING A CHICK OUT AND PUTTING YOUR DICK ON THE LINE.

She never said "LJBF" which means you're not friend zones. If anything it means she either a) wants more interest/attention from you in order to give you more attention or b) is losing interest in you heavily because you're being a pussy with her.

Trust me on this. I've learned. I've learned a SHIT load in my time as a "PUA." I've been in situations where i've been around the most beautiful women that have been clinging the fuck onto me, staring at me with all intent and the most loving of eyes you've ever seen and having everyone -- her friends and mine -- tell me she's CRAZY about me only for me NOT to make a move, only to make it FAR TOO LATE in which case i've fucked everything up. I learned from this specifically. I fucked up with some sexy SHBs in my time and I realised -- something I never thought possible before -- the only fuck up was not pursuing her when I should have/when she expected it. You need to kiss a woman when she's at her peek of interest in you. You can kiss her before then but when she's gasping for it and nuts about you YOU JUST HAVE TO KISS HER or else she's going to go from 110% interest to ZERO interest. It's fucking nuts but it's just how it happens.

Having said that, it's not over. You just need to grab your balls and be assertive. Be dominant, make it clear you want her to come out with you. If she says "I don't know..." just fucking say it "Come on, it'll be cool plus I want to spend time with you." Sometimes being the sentimental twat works. Be that guy when all else is lost, just don't give up your independence.

Ask her out two more times, don't give her some stupid sweet talk to ease into it, just ask her the fuck out then get back to us BUT next time you go out make the fuck sure you try to kiss her halfway through the date.

For the love of god dude stop being a pussy. You've said "lesson learnt" but have you actually learnt anything because your facebook thing is just you being even more of a pussy.

You friendzoned yourself by even thinking "Oh the vibe is off here, best not ask her out" Girls are most attracted to a guy when their behaviour doesn't effect your attitude towards her. So what if the "vibe was off" she could be on the blob, could be hungover, could be this, could be that. With these sorts of things especially with women there are SHITLOADS of variables that could occur that could be a reason why she seems off.

So what is your job as a male? TO BE A ROCK. The immovable object. There with the "lets get this done" sort of attitude. She seems down/whatever/grumpy so fucking what. You're a male, you only live once, ask her out, get your answer, move on.

The fact that you want to know and actually do something to get her = attractive.

The fact that you're interested and don't do anything because you're scared she'll say no = AFC, a pussy and insanely attractive.

p.s. Girls don't friendzone guys. Guys friendzone themselves.

Well I asked her out again. But she said maybe, which means no. I'll take GamesSN's advice though and ask one more time before I give up.

Why didn't she say yes? Cause I was being a dumbass and fucked up again. Went to the party, saw her sitting down talking to her friends. Decided to play it cool by just saying hi but not talking to her and talking to other people first. Then like half an hour into the party she got up to leave. Oh shit. That's when I talked to her and unsuccessfully asked her out. Similar stupid mistake as our facebook chat, where I dragged on small talk instead of getting to the point and asking her out. What I should have done was talk to her right away instead of pretending to play it cool like a little bitch then rushing to chat her up as she's leaving.

Probably already hopeless but I'll try again and pray for a miracle.