Whats up guys,

Here's the situation: I've been the definition of AFC for the longest time and I have confidence issues.(But I am constantly working on making myself better) Anyway, I met a girl in college last semester, and my AFC self was unresponsive to her IOI's early on. Over christmas break I told her I liked her and she told me she felt the same. We hit it off over break via text messages. However, when we got back on campus she would always flake when I asked her to hang out. Like I said I wasn't very confident, and took this as a countless number of rejections that slowly ate away at my confidence.

Then, one day she texts me saying she really likes me but she is "shy" and that is why she is so flaky. And she is afraid that this is going to eventually push me away. But shortly after she still continues to flake whenever I attempt to hangout. The few times we do spend together are pretty chill up until the close, as she has denied kissing me on multiple occassions (I go for kiss close every time we do hang, and I make sure its in a private spot).

At this point I decided to cut her off, and I tell her(via text) that it's obvious that she doesnt feel the same way I feel about her, and there is no point in wasting either of our time. She replies with a simple "hmm.. okay". After this I dont talk to her for about a week, then she calls me saying she wants to meet up and talk.

She says she has feelings for me (once again) and she doesn't want to lose me. (I almost started to not "take her back" but I could tell she really meant it)

I am eager to hear advice and criticism on how I have handled this situation, and how I can better handle these types of situations in the future.

Thank you.
-Tuff Artist

Looks like she just loves the attention you give her. She is ok with not seeing each other...until she's lonely and wants to talk. Yet she's denied kissing you and all that right?

This is a shitty situation for you, follow your instincts and get the hell out. Otherwise she will continue trying to keep your feelings for her on retainer.

Look dude let me put it to you like this... this smells like some good, ol' fashioned bullshit coming from this girl. I have a firm belief in being blunt people, women included, and doing this has gotten me very far.

Sounds like you need to call this girl out for flaking without being a dick or cursing at her, you just have to simply be honest.

One of my buddies was having a similar problem with a girl flaking after she told him to "hit her up" after a party. After multiple attempts to contact her, I told my buddy "you simply need to tell her 'look you told me to hit you up, you aren't responding; that isn't how this things works'"

He did just that, got a response by being blunt with her but then ignored her after because... I mean c'mon why do you wanna flake?

Call her out on her bullshit, set her straight, and respond accordingly, sometimes the reaction they will give you will not always be good, but you will save yourself time worrying about how she feels and you will uncover all of her feelings if you force them out of her.

This will do nothing but good for you in the long run.

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PUA Maxim: Leave the woman better than you found her.

Good advice thank you. I mean part of my instinct says to just move on, as it is inefficient and inconvenient to continue pursuing her. But the other says to be consistent with her. I think a solution to this problem would be to keep her around as long as she is saying she wants me, but to date other girls as well.

I feel that completely man. I actually called her out before cutting her off the first time, and she blamed it on her being "shy". I know that when I called her out it gave her something to think about, because she came right back to me the next week. One regret I do have is taking her back so easily, but I feel a different vibe coming from her now. That being said, I think a sticking point in my game is being needy, and showing too much attention early on.

my advice, don't struggle for girls nor for relationship with them, not good? next.
you got to learn how to lose, in order to behave correct with girls.
it will save you time and energy, instead of sitting all day and thinking things about girls.

Very true, it will help you to put it up front in the first place. yes i have been "turned down" in a sense by some girls but because i was straight forward i made the most of it then went the next one, which usually worked better for me.

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PUA Maxim: Leave the woman better than you found her.

NO NO and NO. You're all wrong. What you have to realize is that it doesn't matter whether the girl is shy or not. You haven't had sexual compliance testing with her. You are just going through the normal bullshit boring motions that create a boring relationship. These type of girls need to be 'Seduced' not gamed. When you look at her, look into her eye, then the other eye, then at her lips. This shows that your looking into her, not at her. It's a connection. You should always be putting your hand on her, whether it's very subtle or obvious, make your touch feel as though it's what makes her feel comfortable. When you told her that you thought it was best that the two of you should part your ways, and she said "hmmm... okay" and then she proceeded to tell you that she didn't want to lose you is the first part of seduction. You need to now make her feel as though you are the thing that brightens her day, don't be boring and bland, take her out and be exciting, make her feel as though when she is with you she can open up and be herself, no one else can do that for her. Try not to text too much, in person interactions is what makes her get out from behind the curtain. Don't mention anything about relationship, you don't need to tell her what your always thinking, show it in a sense of touch and emotion, this is how to seduce her and she will want to make you hers. Good luck, message me for help.

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PuzZled

She is a reflection of your inexperience. Go meet some more girls. One day you will look back and have a good laugh over this scenario.

Let's say you go out with a few girls in the next couple of months. You can always go back to this one with your new skills.

Not that the present scenario is fucked beyond repair, but again it's simply a reflection of a guy who as you have stated has been in AFC land for a long time. I should know, I was there once too.