Ok, so we broke up last October after she thought I was cheating...we got back together in mid December after I waited like a month to re-contact her and the love was still there..

Everything has seemed perfect since we got back together and 3wks ago we started talking about future goals and being together forever, etc.

So the night of that big talk she hacks my phone while I'm sleeping and finds out I was courting a coworker during the part of our relationship In which it seemed bleak last october...

After two weeks of drama, she forgave me because I never kissed or had sex with the coworker just wrote her some poems...

Just last weekend we went out as a couple, PDA in public, talked about recommitting, passionate sex all weekend...

So yesterday I get a text from her saying to never contact her again because she thought hard on it and she doesn't believe anything I said about my co worker, so I'm kinda in shock mode right now...

After the first break up I followed the month waiting period and it worked, this time I don't know what to do because i do love this girl...

Help...

Hey man. Good luck. Sucks to be in that situation. Most important thing here to to be okay with what she said and be nonreactive. Don't fight to get her back. Don't know all the details, but in general, she'll come back to you if you don't start qualifying.

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

First: Was she actually cheating on you the first time?

Second: Was there anything more with your co-worker? Cause it sure seems like she smelt a whole lotta something bad all of a sudden

It's relevant cause if she cheated on you -- and now is giving you shit for flirting with someone else (and not even cheating) then that's a red bat-shit crazy flag with a side of jealousy.

She could just be testing you to see how badly you want her back. Be persistent if you truly do (though if she cheated on you, I don't know why you would).

No she never cheated on me to my knowledge, but this girl read mad texts I had with my friend about this coworker..Shit I thought I deleted (the fucking cloud, right?)...Been in damage control mode the last two weeks, but after this last weekend it finally seemed like everything was back...I mean we had an awesome reconnect weekend...We were supposed to go to an NBA game tonight, but last night I got the text to never contact her again because she just doesn't believe I'm telling the truth about what I did with my coworker...The ups and downs in just two weeks have been crazy...

We had gone through some rough times in August where she said she wasn't in love with me anymore just had love for me (it wasn't true though) but I thought it was and this new girl at work looked up to me and put me on pedestal..she was a writer like myself and we sort of connected and i wound up writing her some poems and embellished shit to my friend about liking her because I was dealing with alot at home...At the end of the day though there was no physical contact, but obviously she doesn't believe that when I was texted my friend how hot she was...

I don't know if I should wait it out, or go for broke since this is the second time...Kinda physically ill right now...

I can empathize with feeling physically ill.

Breakups and this kind of shit are wonderful for weight loss, aren't they?!

Anyway - logically speaking - if you didn't cheat, and you told her exactly what happened, then it's her issue to deal with and you can't do much about that.

If you reverse the situation - would you believe her? Would you have any doubts? You probably would (but I don't know you, so who knows?) - she may just need some more time.

As hard as it is - my advice would be to go no contact and give her some space. She knows your side of the story... If she's processing it then maybe she'll come around. If not, there's not much you can do. Broken trust is really hard to repair (even if it's only perceived broken trust).

Good luck, buddy.

seen it before. that girl will never trust you again. even with time,there will always be doubt. if it were me, i would have ended it way before. under no condition would i tolerate someone looking thru my phone. shows disrespect and trust issues. i would have let her known early this was not cool! prolonging the relationship, you are just asking for trouble. trust is two ways. and trust equals a healthy relationship.

girls are not dumb they can smell if you're messing around. maybe you gave her reason to not to trust you?

I did...Early on in the relationship I gave her a few reason not to trust me...but I was using ignore/ be mysterious techniques which backfired and made it seem like I was hiding shit...But I did get caught in a lie about another girl in like month 4 of the relationship and have been paying for it ever since...

But that aside, I said eff it and sent her a Huge edible arrangement delivery to her moms house where she's staying ( I know its against the "get her back" rules , but I find several techniques I used with other girls have never really worked with her)...She texted me back a picture of it and said she'll meet me at the NBA game tonight...

So I guess I'll ask anyone..How should I play things tonight?? I'm just not sure because I know at the end of this road will be questions about my coworker...Remember she texted me it was over for good, lose my number, blocked me on her phone, never contact me again then radio silence...I mean even at her worst when mad at me she never hit me with BLOCK on all devices (twitter, LINE, text, all 3 of her phones)...So I think I need a plan...

you can either be a great ladies man or a great manipulator. i'm afraid you are falling into the latter.
im not surprised she has trust issues.

you ever thought of actually being upfront and honest with her?

honesty and trust are a key factors in healthy relationships. if you are not looking for that, you should have been clear from the start. you WILL be surprised how many woman in today's society are cool with not being exclusive.

So last week after the basketball game we made love, then that weekend we went to a festival all day held hands, it was super loving. Thought things were improving but it seems like every time she's away from me things turn for the worst...

We just went out all day on Easter, my parents came into town and everything was all good. She took pictures with my mom, slept over and it seems like once again things were improving, but the next day I get a text saying she can't be with me anymore... It hurts her too much, and now she is gone radio silence once again and I haven't talk to her for the last two days and she hasnt accepted any phone calls or texts for me...

I know she has to deal, but this ebb and flow is killing me do I just wait it out? But it's like I can feel others might be setting her mind against me when we aren't together...

At this point I don't know what to do...I just feel like everyday were not together I'm losing her, but I'm trying to give space... I mean things were perfect Sunday but now it's like I'm never going to see her again...

I really need some help guys...Last time we broke up last October...I waited a month...Created sexual tension and got her back being there for her at her lowest...But that was the first time, I don't know how to save it this time..

We had a great Easter, went to the zoo/park hand and hand, made love and everything, said we'd reconcile and once she left that morning nothing has been the same...

She texted me Tuesday that she was done with the relationship because she was just too hurt to forgive me for what she believed was me cheating with my co-worker (re-read first post)...

So I waited til today and did a typical fuck up calling and texting her repeatedly all day, asking for another chance or just a face-to-face meeting...It seems to have failed as she said she's tired of crying herself to sleep every night and is no longer going to look back but just forward (sent me a scathing text talking about all my faults)...I countered by texting her I'll never give up on our love (something to that effect)...and how I won't believe these texts and she needs to tell me in person for me to really accept it...

Now for the first time ever I truly think it may be over, which sucks because I did spill my guts earlier...

What do I do now? I do want her back and I know going for broke is the wrong approach interms of building attraction again, but with this being a 2nd breakup and not a 1st...I feel compelled to go to her moms house where she's at and spill my guts to them too and basically do shameful shit I would have never considered before...

Please someone help me with some good tactful precise advice...

time is of the essence...anyone?