Hi Everyone

I am not only new to this PUA forum but also new to the PUA world.

I have a very specific question.

I have started to go out almost 2-3 times a week, and able to approach and open women. The problem is I have no idea how to handle rejection (more so when you see your girl walking out with some one else).

It not only affects your mood on the day(or night) but leaves you depressed for days to come and not mention the confidence hit you get after the rejection.

I am working on my game but this is a big road block i am facing.

How do you train yourself not to get affected by such issues.

Regards
Coolguy84

i won't lie i take rejection pretty bad now that i've been cheated on (ex made him seem sooo much better than me)

but when i was a PUA i would just say "when they say no they're dissing your approach, not you" they don't knwo you well enough to actually diss you but it's something in your approach that makes them say, oh he's not good enough for me

PUA is like a sport, you can read up on it watch it all the time but when it comes down to it you won't know ANYTHING untill you practice...the pros make it look easy, but until you know how to avoid failure and work on your weaknesses, you won't match them

let me use basketball as an example, if i know i can dribble but can't shoot for shit, im going to focus on working on my shooting, then when game time comes ill be more likely to make the shot...in pick-up, if you know your body language needs work, just focus on working on that, realize what you're doing wrong and change it up, then when a nice beautiful girl comes around you won't even worry about being rejected because you know you almost perfected your weaknesses


but like i said if she rejects you (which you got to tell yourself she won't) then just remember "she isn't rejecting me, she's rejecting my approach and she's stupid for not giving me a chance, because im amazing" lol

_________________
"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."-Alfie

It's never you that she's rejecting. It's your approach. Just means you need to get better.

Don't neat yourself up too hard. Just got to keep pushing forward.

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

For me, the big eye opener was when I began to see that all the progressive memes spread by the '68 wave, are in fact completely against the natural order of things. From that moment I realised that in our society, intentions are valued above actual consequences. "How does this look in public?" "How will people approve of this?" Narcissism, passive aggression, social approval . . . Everything becomes one big popularity contest.

"Be nice to everyone, but beat out the competition." That is the motto of modern Western society. Its lies are spread in the name of the malleable society. For instance, you are told to treat women with respect, that they are tender creatures, "ladies first mentality". All very Christian, very Victorian. You know, the times when rapists and burglars were lurking in every shadowy alley, when the man was supposed to ask the father for his daughter's hand. In truth, by treating women rudely and indifferently, you show superior value. You show that your life is good regardless of her, and she will seek to trade herself upwards a way into your life. Whereas liberalism and emancipation tell you that women are rational agents just like men, by this ruffian behaviour you actually target their lizard brain. In their conscious minds they will think you a prick, but subconsciously you turn them on. "Trade upwards, trade upwards!" their lizard braincells tell them.

Think about it. The 50 Cent gangstah thug type they glorify - "Oh my he must be so hot and exotic" . . . Are those actually the men that built the civilization? The "Justin Bieber pretty boy?" Effiminate. A lapdog for the princessy prom queen, to be enslaved and subjugated by the feminist agenda. Women are super well protected by law, mother rights, harassment protection, protection against domestic violence . . . Meanwhile they still pose as the victim. Think about it; why do so many men take refuge to Thailand or Philipines to pick up a wife nowadays? From a traditional culture and not the cultural marxist one we have today? Something is obviously broken. The system is set against responsible hard working men.

If you realize this, mentally you are already a step above everyone else. Antique civilizations realized all this would happen if they would take away all restraint and regulation in the sexual competition. The values appreciated by mainstream culture often center around whim-worship, impulsive immediate pleasure, materialism. Ask yourself - why do women like the man who drives a Ferrari, rather than the engineer who knows how to build one? It's all because of the status, the sex appeal, rather than the underlying knowledge. Our culture prefers looking good in public above actual substance, the real causality beneath all of it. The European, intellectual masculinity that built the civilisation - that made it great through all of its philosophy, science and trade voyages across stormy seas - is constantly being debased. Being brough back to "brutish caveman body builder thug" or "glitter toyboy".

Realise this about most of the women who reject you to go out of the door with some gangstah or rich boy: Gangstah will impregnate her and then run off, so the lady will have to call Obama to give her welfare state child support, and the rich boy will just trade her for another Russian blonde in two months.

Seriously . . . Feminism mocks "the fifties dad" . . . You know the family with father, hard working dad, head of household, coming down every day from work, where his wife sets the dinner table for him. Where the family has breakfast and dinner together every day. Cultural marxists claim this is "patriarchal" and "surpressive". But in truth, many people of our generations wish to have been brought up by such a family. A stable home. But nowadays mommy is probably out with tango-dancing Julio, and the kids warm up their food in the microwave.

It's complete madness. Cultural marxism has turned the world upside down, and destroys all the beautiful and substantial things carrying our civilisation. I took my strength from Plato's Gorgias. In a dialogue contained, Callicles says: "It's the nature of democracy, or egalitarianism as you call it, to enslave the powerful personalities. They catch them young, like the cups of bears and lions, and teach them the world is upside down. In the natural world, however, the strong rule over the weak - there can be no other way. And I think that one day, a powerful character will renounce all these lies, and see the world for what it really is, and cast off the shackles."

Whoever agrees, contact me. Either now by a PM, or years into the future. Doesn't matter. Those who have seen the truth, will not be led astray.

Dude, I'm sorry, but grow some balls... You want to stop feeling like dirt when a women "rejects" you?. Don't put your personal validation in the opinion of others, come from a place of power and authority, this is YOUR world, your moma was wrong, the world does revolve around you!.
Heres what you do,get rejected 15 times in a day until you don't even feel it anymore, and then LAUGH about it!.

My school years over in like 3 days, and I'm going to be a complete animal!(I need numbers for the summer) Johnny Bravo style, and I PLAN PLAN PLAN on getting rejected tomorrow 15/15 and when you don't let that bring you down, your callused.

_________________
" I never regret doing it, but i always regret not doing it...."
~Compass

Yeah, grow some balls.

You just have to learn not to take it personally. If a chick isn't into you it could be 101 things as to the reason why. Most of those reasons have nothing to do with you. For instance one HB8 could turn away and not be interested while a HB9 could walk in and find you to be amazing. Why did one walk and the other didn't? Who cares, it just happens.

I just had this very informative convo. Decided to add it off the bat as I couldn't spare the time to re-work it into an essay format. Enjoy and learn!

Romeo:
Actually had a convo with a really good PUA and now good friend and he said the exact same thing: In confidentiality. People see him as a prick but girls love him. He use to be really nice guy. 3 months ago I lost a lay and seeing the problem he came to me and told me his beliefs and why I fucked up by being nice and a gentleman. Also just read and got examed on the Callicles piece. I just finished my Ancient philosophy module.

Marville:
Well it's good that Callicles was mentioned! What a coincidence.

Romeo:
I know dude, I know Socrates won the debate (kinda) but Callicles was very blunt, to the point and he was much more practical... Like when I read it I was like holy shit!

Marville:
Callicles said the truth, Socrates couldn't defeat him. If you read the Crito it explains why. In the Crito Socrates says there are two opposite bends of minds that cannot be reconciled. Callicles argues the one (to deal out suffering is preferable to being made to suffer), whereas Socrates represents the other school (being made to suffer is preferable to giving suffering to others, as making others suffer would damage the soul).

Romeo:
Soo with souls out of the equation... Damn.

Marville:
Indeed! Centuries later, the debate between Descartes and Spinoza took souls out of the equation. "Substance monism" versus "substance dualism". With other words, how could something immaterial (soul) interact with the material world (body) ? It's the famous "Elizabeth argument". Something immaterial could not be part of a physical causal chain. The morality we have today is still grounded within the integrity of the soul - even though its metaphysical foundation has clearly been dismantled.

Romeo:
Yeah and 'the seat of the soul' being just a normal part of the brain...

Marville:
It's funny how, in the Politeia (ideal republic), Plato first has Socrates say how morality should be based only on the world, not on the preferences of gods, and then later adds the "story of Ehr", which talks about people with impure souls being punished in the Hades.

Romeo:
Ehr?

Marville:
At the end of the Politeia is a story about a person called "Ehr". Describing the punishment of those who have "bad souls". Being beaten with whips and so forth in the afterlife. Concretely, you see your friend - who first follows the "gentleman morality" . . . The moment he begins to abandon it, is the moment his life begins to show progress. Whereas the Victorian era morality disadvantages men. I mean the morality rooted within Christianity and ultimately Plato's notion that we must protect the integrity of our souls by performing courtly behaviour.

Romeo:
Well this 'Victorian morality' has been the primary if not the sole reason I've fucked up a lot of stuff in my life, primarily to do with women . . . I can directly apply all the stuff you said to a person close to me. He used to be one of the leading political figures, but literally got kicked out and nearly killed for wanting to root out corruption in the northern region of Iraq, also known as Kurdistan. He is now in Britain. He was an asshole towards girls, got laid hundreds of times, beginning at age 11, in a country where they hang you for stuff like that (due to the strict religious and sexual mores and customs). He got into philosophy at late teens, read utopian novels, the biggest mistake of his life he says. It made him want equality and consequently fucked up his political ambitions. Today he is disenchanted from patriotism and morality.

Marville:
Let us revisit what you said earlier – what if the seat of the soul is indeed the foundation of Western morality?

Romeo:
I meant that, when the fear of being punished is taken away for a moment, we ultimately refrain from advantaging ourselves at the cost of society because we fear the damage it would do to our soul. We fear that a deity will punish us in the afterlife, or that we will be reborn into a vile and crude form. Therefore, what we do and not do in this life is influenced by a mental depiction of what awaits us in the next.

Marville:
Socrates begins his dialogue in the Politeia by stating that this basis is too weak to carry a morality, and that a healthy morality would be based on strictly secular suppositions. Meaning that it would involve no gods or considerations of the afterlife. Simply put he reasons from the maxim that sound explanations of this universe, restrict themselves to what is present in this universe.

Romeo:
As opposed to being metaphysical explanations, you mean? Well as you said – although Socrates does start out with this, the metaphysical assumptions do seep in as he reasons from metaphors. So, bringing this metaphysical basis of morality back to today’s world of anatomy and neuroscience – what would stop us from enriching ourselves at the cost of others in society? I mean again if we could rule out for a moment the consequences of being caught. The fear of damaging the purity of our soul would translate itself to feelings of moral guilt, of moral conscience.

Marville:
But other philosophers have – aside from the questions of the soul – reasoned that sometimes one has to act against the prevalent morality for the good of the realm. Russian writer Dostoyevsky explains in Crime and Punishment that a person like Napoleon would stop at nothing to achieve his objectives. Like Callicles, Napoleon considered himself transposed above common morality, and regardless of the crimes he committed was still able to spread new laws, uniform measurements and other methods which ultimately benefitted progress.

Romeo:
Perhaps we could even say with Stalin that the victor’s morality becomes the new morality, and overwrites the existing rules of ethics and conduct. Will the conquered people ask the victor whether he was morally right, or will they rather accommodate the new leading power? Christianity triumphed over the Roman Empire and either destroyed or rewrote much of its history. How many religions and religious codes were destroyed by Muslims? Callicles is right in saying the strong rule naturally over the weak. This becomes immediately apparent once a strong and capable character throws off those shackles of the guilty conscience.

Marville:
This would indeed explain why Christianity, although it was founded after Plato’s death, emphasizes so much the afterlife, preserving the purity of the soul, the importance of living righteously in the eyes of God. Plato found that, despite his attempt to convince people to act good for good being good in itself, human nature was too much inclined towards materialism, rouse and appetite, and therefore he took refuge to myths about the afterlife. This is why Christianity denounces “the flesh” – Christians talked and wrote a lot about souls and heaven whereas the Jewish Old Testament barely mentions that.

Romeo:
And so the cycle is complete. Because the weak cannot immediately act against their masters, they create a morality to devalue the things their masters value. To bring down the self-esteem and sense of accomplishment of the strong, they devalued force and celebrated meekness, humbleness, compromise and “turning the other cheek”. Feminism is now in like fashion waging a war against intellectual masculinity. Instead of men being concentrated and direct, they want them to be party animals highly susceptible to vibe, SPAM and validation by others. It also explains why Christianity, hailing from the Victorian era, is obsessed with feelings of guilt and sin, with purity, courtly conduct and preserving a clean moral conscience (White Knighting). The strong, by contrast, judge their actions by their results, not their intentions, being aware that in shaping the world through their actions, they also shape a new frame by which their actions will be evaluated.

Marville:
Of course this moralistic attempt to manipulate people through their conscience falls flat on its face the moment it turns out a Napoleon or a Stalin can rest comfortably every night without losing a single minute of sleep to nightmares. To remedy such psychopathy, children get to hear explanations as: “But when you steal candy, instead of working for it, you will miss the sensation of having earned it, and therefore the intensity of your enjoyment will be less.”

Romeo:
But what will a strong character think when he hears this? Surely he will say to himself: “Well it is good that you really think this, and live by this creed, so that people such as I, who know better, can benefit from the order and prosperity prevalent in society.”

I've been rejected so many times when first starting and still get rejected. I just say "nice to meet you" and walk away. they always smile and say you too. I don't let it affect me as I know it is a regular part of pick up.

Desensitize.

Get rejected 100 times and the 101st won't matter at all. It's only the first 10 to 20 rejections that will affect you. If you move on and move forward fast enough, you'll be unstoppable.

Viewing things positively also helps a lot. If you're the type who sees a glass of water as half empty instead of half full, then you've got to train yourself to see the positivity in a lot of things.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

You can do two things. First, as soon as you feel negative emotions (after a rejection), immediately stop thinking and become present in the moment. Watch clips on youtube with Eckhart Tolle about this. He has some tips on how to become present by focusing on what you see, hear, smell and feel. That will stop your negative thoughts. Second, as you are now focusing on things in your surrounding, try to find something positive, something fun, and throw yourself into it!

I've been able to exercise my reticular activation system (RAS) this way to only focus on positive things. It's like I'm having a memory like a gold fish (3 seconds long), which I find quite amusing in itself.

I hardly remember how it felt to be rejected. You get rejections when it is obvious that you expect something from the girl or the group that you approach - that you have an agenda (trying to pick her up). That is why I usually tell people to stop trying, quit picking up and just go out, mingle around and have fun. But it is probably easier said than done.