So there is a new girl at work that I'm after, I have been saying hello and gradually e-mailing her/talking to her in the corridor more and more. As a bit of background I got a new job Tuesday and will be leaving my current building, I'm also off to amsterdam for a long wknd next fri. So back to the girl she e-mailed tues afternoon to congratulate me about the job, then this morning she got me to go over to her office while she was alone to help her with something, we spoke for about 45 mins just talking shit bout hols n stuff, she msgd me in the afternoon about the subject and we were talking she said she was so busy she didn't know where to start. I replied I will make a deal with you if you give me your number I will wait till tonight to pester you so you can get on with your work now. She replied hahaha your hilarious, I replied I know, bt I'm being serious Anyway she came back and said don't know if I want you pestering me haha all very light hearted. There is a guy dan who has autism and has been hanging about her, she keeps telling me he is freaking her out, anyway I said listen if your holding out for dan that's fine just let me know........if not you know it will be fun letting me pester you.haha she went away for a bit of the afternoon then msgd me later on to say a meeting I had with someone from her office had been cancelled. To which I replied your just full of disappointments today, again we had some light hearted conversation and I bust her balls about dan. No mention of her number was made and I didn't want to bring it up again seeming needy.

Where do you think I go from here, she seems keen I just couldn't get the digits and kinda feel in limbo! I wondered if the amsterdam trip was in the back of her mind? Any advice appreciated as always guys!

Stop fucking around with 45 min chats, you have built comfort now you have to man up and ask her out, nothing serious or fancy a drink after work is fine, to a friends bbq, to some great band your friends in wtf ever doesn't matter, your right she sounds keen. Strike while the iron is hot and go for it.

Mate I appreciate your advice, bt I'm from the uk we gotta put in some ground work before we go asking for dates, otherwise I would be the creepy guy that just asked her out.

I'm not sure a date is the way to go as she never even gave me her digits.....so why would she agree to a date, seems kinda last resorty!

Again I appreciate your opinion and any feedback on my reply is welcome.

Personally, I think she's just being friendly. You already asked her for her number and she didn't give it to you. Even if you said it in a playful manner, I think she would have given it to you either way.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Tbh I thought that as well mate, but since the other day she has had various situations where she could have avoided me and instead chose to seek me out. The more I talk to her I think she may just be a little intimidated/shy........I'm gonna leave the line out baiting, then reel it in when I come back from Amsterdam with my breath stinking of pussy!

I don't mean being friendly like you're just some random guy she's exchanging pleasantries, but she thinks you're a cool dude/friend and would go to lunch with you but then start gushing about her bf or the guys in her life. If so, you might be able to try the strawman technique.

Who knows? Maybe she really thought you were goofing off when you asked for her number. The way you worded it could have made it seem like you were kidding. You could have used the same bit for something outlandish, but not something you really wanted. For example:

Her: Hey ___ do you think you could give me the TPS reports?
You: Sure, but first you have to (insert C&F request)

I feel you should have been more direct when asking for her number. That way, you get an idea of where you stand and plan for your next attack. Maybe you should engage her in conversation towards the end of the day, then cut her off mid-sentence (at a point where her enthusiasm is high on the topic) and ask for her number so you could pick this conversation up later.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Why would she give you her number?

Wouldn't it be better to plan something like drinks after work so then there's a reason to get her number?

All these long 45 min chats won't get you anywhere. You're not her girlfriend, she knows you like her already cause you already showed interest by asking for her number. If she didn't like you she'll avoid talking to you.

Plan A
-Clear the path, ask what night she's free
-Invite her out for drinks, she says yes, you get her number
-Buy her 7-8 strong drinks, and take her back to your place

Plan B
-Plan A fails.....she's a lesbian!

So you're having 45 minute convos, and she's seeking your company and you say if you asked her out it would be creepy? You have some very limiting beliefs you need to get rid of... While you're worrying about being creepy, she's riding some good cock who's not afraid of taking action, just saying...

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

No it would have been creepy had I not spoke to her and just went up and asked her out as the other post suggested! I agree now is the point to ask her but I was in limbo with the number thing. But a few days have passed and my views on her have changed I will be stepping up my attempts.

Appreciate the comments guys some good insights and that's why im part of the community to bounce ideas off one and other. Cheers

Said other poster clearly wanted to point out that it is not advisable to lay back in the comfort of such long conversations for too long. Once enough rapport has been established, there is no reason to waste more time.

Peace,

In$tinct

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct