Alright, so this is potentially going to be a silly thread but I could use some advice because I honestly don't know what to do.

Simple fact is, I want to meet people. I'm in college now for computer science and chances of meeting girls is very little. I've talked to the ones I thought were attractive, and ones who peaked my interest but it never worked out.

I know the best thing to do is just go out in the world and just talk to people, go to bars and cafés and what not.. Thing is, I am too afraid to do any of those things. I don't have friends who would want to go with me, and going alone terrified me. I'm terribly self conscious and have always just gone with what was comfortable. Usually sitting in my comfort zone forever.

Does anyone maybe have some advice on how I can break out of this? Or would it be better to just work on my own self esteem before worrying about finding some girl to date?

Work on your self esteem. I don't know how you would find a girl based on everything you just said, but if you did as you are now...she will own you because you will fear losing her.

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Are you old enough to go to bars?

EDIT: Nevermind, reread your post and you stated bars were an option. Derp. My bad.

Hey man, I feel your pain. Getting to know people used to be a struggle for me too.

I definitely think you should work on your self-esteem before trying to pursue girls. Don't use self-development as an excuse NOT to meet girls, but definitely pursue it for the sake of your future self.

What specifically scares/intimates you about striking up conversations with new people?

I know for me in my high school days, I thought I had to live up to an ideal image of myself. Since I thought my natural personality would turn people off, I would opt to stay in the background. I was overly invested in what other people to thought of me.

Which is a bit selfish, don't you think? In a social exchange, I wasn't interested in what others had to say or contribute to the convo. I'm just sitting there thinking and worrying about ME (and how I fit into the equation). It was a form of self-absorption. Like reverse narcissism or some shit.

Hopefully you can relate. I honestly don't remember how I came out of it. I think I eventually just stopped taking myself so seriously. I also recall a shift in which I started look at how valuable and interesting other people were, as opposed to thinking about how valuable and interesting I was to other people.

Another realization I experienced years afterwards was that most people are pretty self-conscious themselves. That blew my mind, because I was so focused on my problems, I forget that us humans all struggle together.

Yeah, I can go to bars. Legal drinking age here is 19. But anyways.. That actually sounds like how I think.. Almost spot I'd say. I've been trying to work on it, but it's a hard habit to break.

I think honestly, what scares me the most about going places is just the fact that I'd be alone. I always have this weird feeling of being judged for being alone. And to be honest as I write this it seems stupid to think that.

Hi buddy,

I feel the same way, but if you think about it, being alone can be an advantage. anybody can talk to a girl when he has 5 of his friends with him, but it takes major balls to sarge alone. in other words, alone = confidence = turn on.

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I have not failed 10,000 times. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Edison

I think that sarging alone is sometimes an advantage. You will feel stronger after opening a set of two (or more) girls by yourself without anyone helping you with it. Contrariwise, opening a set of two girls when you are with 4 friends won't help you. I always think that in order to approach girls the guys should be of the same number of the girls or less. Girls should never be outnumbered by a group of guys approaching her. I think that doesn't work well if you do... That's why when I go out sarging I take maximum one friend with me.
U want to get over your problem? Just keep approaching. Going out of the confort zone is an effort you have to make in order to get over your approach anxiety. Try to do the "Newbie Mission" ( the-newbie-mission-vt41556.html ) cause I think it can help you. When you feel that you are making progresses just push further in your interaction with the girl you decided to approach.
It worked for me.

Good luck man!