I try to keep it as short as possible:

Since November I've got contact with a HB9 from my small group (12 people) in university. We've texted since then and then there were several university meet ups, where I talked to her. She seemed very interested. At one meet up I got drunk and fucked it up (too touchy, negged her deepest insecurity). As I later got told by her best (male) friend (she has nearly only guy friends and got a fuckbuddy), she "forgot" the incident, but I didn't know that and fucked her phone up with needy and apologetic messages. Of course she didn't respond. I let it be for a week or so, because after reading text-threads, I realised I was going to become her textbuddy. Suddenly SHE was texting ME with weak excuses to get me to respond. Since then I am mirroring her texting habbits IF she texts ME, but I am very drawn back to text her, just to invite her to university meet ups.

No to the present. She seems very insecure around colleagues of us. So we met last Friday, I was the first in the pub. As she arrived she immediately chose the place next to me and started talking, talking, talking. She said, that she had invited three guy friends, what freaked me out a bit, but to her I said, that I was totally cool with that (overall it was a meet up with colleagues, not a date). Her friends arrived and as she began talking with them (all guys), I thought I'd lost her for this evening and started to talk with other colleagues, to show that I am not seeking her attention. In mid-conversation she wanted me to contribute to the conversation with her friends. I first finished the conversation with my colleague and then turned around to her and her friends. These three guys were awesome and we vibed very well, but one seemed very sexual and touchy to her. She didn't comply with every touch (like her thighs) of him, so I am not that concerned. While her friends were occupied with my phone, trying to beat my flappy birds record, we talked about her journey to Istanbul she will make and that she had to send me photos, because I've never been there. At half past 1 a.m. I asked her when she will be leaving (she was there with her car, parked thirty minutes away). She said 2 a.m.. I shook my head and said: If you wait till 2.20 a.m. we will leave together. She just nodded with a smile and we kept on talking. As we were leaving later on, all her friends stayed. We both had to go to the toilette and as we were in front of the doors, she said: Take the right door, stupid! I was confused because I wasn't even thinking of following her. As I was finished I left the pub and went outside to wait for her. Meanwhile I talked to the bouncers, so I didn't realise that 10 minutes passed. She came out of the pub and with a happy face she said: Oh, here you are. I was waiting inside, I even asked [a guy friend of her] to look if you are in the toilette. We then went off because I had to get my bus (the last one, if I would have missed it, I had to wait 4 hours). Her car was in the same direction, but on the other side of the street. As we were talking, she suddenly left my side of the street and while walking to the other side she said bye. I was a little confused by this friendly, but surprisingly cold good buy. I thought after we vibed that well, she would be more friendly.

I blame it on my sticking point the kino escalation or the male-to-female part. The only kino I did with her yet (except the over-touchy incident) was that I touched her shoulder/upper arm if she wasn't paying attention while I was speaking. This always caused a immediate turn to me with a big smile.

But I've realised it with most girls I am gaming. My "highest close" were number closes so far. So how do I get kino properly? I don't want to scare this 9 away (outcome dependent with this one, I know -.-), but with other girls I shouldn't have that problem. So what do you suggest in this situtation and what in general?


Also to the male-to-female interest part. I am hesitant when it comes to meeting up with JUST the girl and I am never sure if she sees me as a sexual male or just as friendly (in general)/nice colleague (in this situation)


I appreciate your help, thanks!

Nobody?

Sadly she is not interested. She has been messaging you just to get your validation. In my opinion forget and find someone else. Maybe if she sees with you some other girl she will want to fuck you other than that no. i have a feeling you are developing a one-itis for her. Don't get to that point. It gets bad once you get there.

You're stressing alot on Kino / Esclation.

Let your game be natural (talk slowly, eye contact, sit relaxed, dress well).

At the end of the night when leaving you didn't give her any sign of wanting her that's why she parted ways. Once you left the bar. You could've complimented her a little how everyone was checking her out and she looks good today in the particular dress / shirt / hair style / compare your height to her joke about if she's wearing heels and how short she is
.
And just put your arm on her shoulder while saying this.

You get what I mean ? Natural. Don't think should I touch or no / you will always end up with something bad.

And please do not text her. Keep it as you're doing it now.

Thank you, for your answer.

But what exactly makes you certain, that she's not interested. I am a little bit confused, because especially in the near past she seemed interested in my eyes. Am I this bad at telling if someone is interested?

And what's about that that she seems to want/need my validation?

Yeah, I know myself, that I am near oneitis, if I am not already there. But I don't see her as the perfect and only one, I am still gaming other girls, so thank you for your worries, but I am aware of this. I more see her as a challenge, you know what I mean?

And thanks for the kino/escalation insight. My head is here my main problem... I see

And what's about that that she seems to want/need my validation?

- She wants you to feel that she likes you. So she will be super nice to you(smile, look at you, touch your hands). You will feel there is something and start working towards getting her (being needy to be precise) try to do things that make her happy, ONE-ITIS and then she's banging some other dude.

I'm telling you from experience. Its happened to be a couple of times.

See if you can relate to this -

I liked this girl. She was super nice to me. Hold hands and keep a check on me where I was with who. Just like a relationship. She wanted me to give a fuck about her, I became needy. I started noticing small things like you are (she was looking at me all the time. She called to ask me for dinner). ONE-ITIS. I asked her to date me. She refused.
1 week later she starts seeing some random guy.

Fast forward approx 1 year, I randomly run into her at a club (Didn't give her much face. She tried talking to me all night - Seeking validation - I was gaming a well know Slut. She got more frustated). The main thing here is her presence didn't bother me or bring back my feelings for her.

2 days later she invites me to dinner. She talks about the night at the club - I told her I fucked the girl and told her I don't care what you think about her. Next hour we were in bed together.

Point of the story - Cut her out now. You will think this doesn't make any sense. Why not be friends like you are now?

1 month from now you will regret not sleeping with some other girl you could've invested your time in.

You will think this doesn't make any sense.
-True that. Any tips how to differ between real interest showing and fake interest showing? (I don't want to run into something like this again. I am still learning, so I must ask if I got problems^^)

See if you can relate to this
- I could, too well

Point of the story - Cut her out now. You will think this doesn't make any sense. Why not be friends like you are now?
- By cutting her out you mean treating well, texting and talking with her, but not getting needy?