Recently I had a convo on here with Snarg, about a girl I'm trying to reconnect with and be friends with, although I'm still emotionally attached.
After slowly talking with her thru FB and calling her once, I called her today. Here's what happen.

I call, she says hey what's up. I said, I'm just calling to see how your doing, I noticed you checked out that video I sent you abt psychology what did you think? She's like, I liked it, I want to see if that psychology affect would work on me. Me: lets hope not, you could become a sleeper and shoot up people her: Haha

This part went ok. Then, I said, my music is doing really well were working on a new song with vocals and all that, I'm gonna post it on FB soon you'll like it. I love it, I'm in love with my own music. Her: I know, it's your first love... Are you asking me to hear it? Me: sure if you like, I could use another fan lol. Her: well, I actually said you shouldn't get a new lead singer and that you should sing so, I'm not really into it anymore. I'm like ok. (So I hit a bad emotion here) My phone kept accidentially hanging up on her so I kept saying its her phone and I'll buy her a walkie-talkie - no big response

I asked her, so what hv you been up to, she said, nothing just going Sat to see some friends (she said that cause I told her, I'll be in town then) I said cool, changed the subject talked about me seeing a concert. While this was happening on multiple occasions she's ignore me and talk to her friends. She was with her friends drinking and they were commenting on our conversation, making her laugh and she said something like, "Don't mess with him, you'll hv to go through me first (jokingly)." And I'd talk to her, but her friends would make her laugh (they were all guys) and I'd mumbled out, "Shows over here" then she's like hey, ya sry about that. Yet, she asked how's my lil sister and brothers and asked if I ever finished the song I made for her.

So I said, hey we definitely have some catching up to do, you should come hang out. (I payed close attention to her) she acted like she was Caught off guard, like oh ummm the problem is you only come in town on Saturdays, are you gonna be in town any other day, I said I'll hv to check my schedule - how's next Sat? She's like, I hv to see how the weather is, it's pretty much all has to do with the weather cause I don't want to go to the city in the snow if your not gonna pick me up, I said, no worries I'll pick you up, she's like ya but if it snows I don't want you to drive in it. (IMO THIS WHOLE THING IS A LIE) Me: I'm going to X museum you ever go there? She's like yes, wait no someone actually offered to take me there I said, ya I can't make it anyway cause the roads will be bad. She's like, we'll I hv to go... Cause my friends are calling me. I said, ya I gtg too I just got home so I gtg, she said, hit me up close to then and I'll let you know. I said hit you? I don't hit woman even if you want me too. Her: ha ha (sarcasm) Me: ok, see you soon.

I feel like theres something going on that she's hiding from me. Like shes keeping something from me, not saying the truth. Like she's seeing someone else or idk!!! What's going on?
I'll first see what you guys make of this, before I say my opinion. HOW DID I DO AND WHAT DO YOU GUYS MAKE OUT OF ALL THIS

HOW I FELT EMOTIONALLY:
As soon as I hung up I cried because I felt like she ignored me, that other guys in the background were better then me, and made them laugh and that she doesn't want me anymore. Guys, I'm sure you guys been here before, put yourself in my shoes. At one time she was all I could think of and for her to treat me like I'm insignificant hurt. I cried frantically from the pain I felt. How do I heal? I feel nervous, upset, and I'm panicking.

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

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Unfortunately, I don't see where she's interested in anything other than a very loose friendship at this point. I know it sucks to reach this point of realization but it's better to realize it sooner rather than later. As for your assessment of the situation, I'd say you're pretty much spot-on. The whole weather thing is a load of bullshit. Go with your gut when it comes to things like this because you'll literally always be right.

I understand you feel like absolute shit and that's perfectly normal and we've all been there. You'll feel better in a few days as long as you realize that this truly is a dead end. You have to accept that, though, or you'll keep feeling like shit. And if you feel like shit, how are you ever going to make a good impression on the next woman that comes around?

WTF?

I'm completely on HER side!

She doesn't want to date a girl Bro. She's looking for a MAN.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Snarg, I don't want to admit it but I know she no longer wants a relationship, part of me hasn't moved on but I know she's not the right girl for me, there's parts of her I can't trust. I know I can't hv a relationship with her, I thought I could just be friends. But for her to ignore me makes me feel like she didn't acknowledge me as a man. Then I think why would I want a friend like that. (Keep in mind I hurt her too, she didn't want me to leave but I wasn't able to be in a relationship with her. I cried in front of her and I'm the one that broke everything off. Maybe she thinks you should hv wanted me when you had me)

Yet, I feel slightly at peace cause at least I got an answer and I hv to move on.

Should I still hit her up? (Who knows she'll probably say no)

Heywood: look man, I'm a sensitive person, if you knew my background you'd understand. I'm making 0 excuses, but my upbringing was different then yours. But in the midst of my pain I still want to learn. How can I be a man in this situation and know how to handle everyone that comes my way.

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

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Its tough love Bro. YOU have to thicken your skin. I don't give a shit about your past. I do care about your future. Find another outlet for all that pent up emotion. Find a passion. Make that your focal point. Become the best at that anyone ever has.

Then you will have real power within you. Instead of giving it up to every little fuck slut that walks your way.

Once you realize she didn't take your balls, you gave them to her, your entire perspective will change.....for life!

Stop blaming your background, your mother, your father, your uncle that fondled you as a child.

Decide.

Don't look for all the reasons life has prevented you from finding what you want. Look at all the obsticals you have put in front of you to prevent it.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I totally understand it's tough love. I appreciate it 100%!! But what I mean is, how could I have talked to her like a man and handled the situation like a man? (I get that I should express myself soley in my passion and not to ppl. Maybe only to you guys or privately.)

P.S. I don't feel like a man cause her guy friends made her laugh and was more alpha then me. I feel weak and like a failure. What hurt was her acknowledging someone (better) over me. How do I fix that?

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

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The difference between a man and a boy is that a man is in complete control of his emotions. He still experiences negative emotions like anger and sadness, but even in those cases he is able to quickly rationalize that these emotions are unhelpful and can turn them into something positive. He also has tons of options available, not only other women, but also a list of friends and hobbies that allow even the largest setbacks to look very minor in the grand scheme of things. For example, if you had 3 other women chasing you right now and you were into all of them, would you care anywhere near as much about this other girl? The answer is definitely no.

And finally, a man has such a strong sense of social and emotional intelligence that he would be able to know when to move on when the time is right. In this case, things would never have come this far because you wouldn't have invested so much emotion into one woman and you would have been able to see that she wasn't interested long before you let this get out of control.

Snarg,

Your right. I'm moving on and going to forget about her. 1) Should I txt her and let her know I can't see her or unfriend her on FB? I'm able to take FULL responsibility for myself, but on the flip side, she was really disrespectful.

Important: what's sticking with me is the fact that 2) her friends kept interrupting and she gave these guys attention over me and they made her laugh better then me. So I feel like I'm not a man because someone else did better (they're better then me) and I failed.
3) I don't feel like an alpha because of it. I can I emotionally make sense of that and what would hv been the right thing to hv said/done when the happened and when talking to her in general.

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

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1) No. The fact that you are even considering it shows you aren't moving on. By letting her know that you're done with her, you are in fact conveying the exact opposite: you are showing that you're very emotionally invested in her. Do not do this.

2) It was a great learning experience, wasn't it?

3) Once again, it was a learning experience. The funny thing is that you didn't even need to "out-do" them by any means. The guy who keeps to himself and has fun will attract her attention eventually anyway, but if I had to guess, your body language was SPAM the fact that you were very uncomfortable with the situation which is what ruined that moment more than anything else.

Listen to Snarg

You are being the moth.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Snarg, I'll definitely cut convo with her, I just didn't know if I should unfriend her FB. There's always a tendency in me to not be rude, but I learned I can't be so nice to girls..

It definitely was a great learning experiences, the more bad experiences and pain I endure the stronger I'll become. Albeit, what effects me is how this situation reflects my personality. The feeling that I failed or didn't know what to do makes me feel like I wasn't a man. I had no idea how to handle that. I felt like they were so big and I was so small. I had to idea how to be the desired and not the desiring

Do you know what I mean? I felt hurt, and because I failed I feel inept as a man. (this was a phone call btw) I sorta understand what you mean abt how to act, but I was just silent and tried to get a word in. I didn't know what type of Tactics I should have used to get her into me.

I had no foundation of how I should behave in order to be alpha. Like how would you hv handled it.

And I suppose the only way to heal is to focus on other girls..

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

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It's as easy as striking up a conversation with some other person, even if it's a stranger you happen to be sitting by, or even the bartender. Just have fun and stop caring so much about the outcome of it all.

I deff will. Snarg, thanks for talking with me through the whole process. It took away the nerves knowing I had a bud to talk to to. Thanks.

What did you think of this statement, "Albeit, what effects me is how this situation reflects my personality. The feeling that I failed or didn't know what to do ...or what tactics to use... makes me feel like I wasn't a man. I had no idea how to handle that. I felt like they were so big and I was so small."

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

My journal confessions-of-a-seducer-journey-to-gre ... 84193.html Online/Offline, Texting & Reports.

All of those emotions stem from the simple fact that you panicked. That's not a reflection on your personality or how manly you are - you just panicked, and that's what happens when too many ideas are running through your head at once.

And that's the biggest problem I think a lot of guys have. They think too much, when in reality they would be much better off not thinking at all. Imagine how things would have turned out if you had just grabbed a nice, enormous glass of whiskey and played that entire night out with the singular goal of having fun. You would have probably been joking around, telling stories to people, and in turn you would have become the flame rather than worrying about being the moth.

This isn't something you'll change overnight, so be patient about it. But next time you go out, try to adopt an "I don't give a fuck" attitude. It's absolutely crazy how attractive that is.

One.

Step.

At a...

Time.

Every day.

If you fix your weak points every day, you'll do better, not with this girl but with the future girls in your life. Compound the ideal skill sets every day and the momentum will get you there. We had a concrete, methodical plan in SPAM, if you want that, DO that.

Crying and being emotional will not get you anywhere. Those will not solve your problems.

DO and it's DONE.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

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