| I was seeing a girl for about a month and a half. We work together.
I kiss closed her the first night we hung out , the second night she slept over and we fooled around... Finally, the third night I f-closed her. We would text each other huge paragraphs back and forth within this time... She would play a long with the banter; our personalities clicked so well and she would compliment me constantly on how other guys suck at texting, that I have a special aura of confidence that people notice, how much of an alpha male I am and that she's never been with a guy like me, that we have the same sense of humor, etc, etc.
Eventually, I had a beta moment. I opened up a little too much and it turned her off. She told me she didn't want this to turn into a relationship (backwards rationalization, imo - she loved being with me) and she wanted to stop seeing me because "friends with benefits never works" and that I'm too much of an alpha male for me to be her boyfriend. When we were talking about it, I told her that I had other options, and that if she didn't want to be with me, I would replace her. Kinda mean, but this is pretty congruent with my personality - I'm honest, even when it stings.
I find out that she was flirting with another guy from my work, and they left together at a work party. I find out later that they didn't have sex, but made out and they've been going on dates a lot. He has a car, and I don't right now (long story), so he has seen her more than I have. The guy is pretty AFC, but has some social proof, because he dated a waitress before... Good guy, but not exactly at the same level with women as I am. I was debating on bringing it up to him, but I figured if I made a big deal out of it, it would only strengthen their bond. I had a better plan.
I ended up texting her a few days later, telling her that there's no hard feelings, we should be friends, etc, etc and ended it on a good note. I wanted to keep a foot in the door and I think it worked on some level, because the following weekend after the party, I took a date to work - about the same level of attractiveness. My fling was working the door. I didn't really go out of my way to say Hi to her or anything, just sat around, waiting for my date (who was running late) and was chatting / lightly flirting with the other waitresses / bartenders.
I told my date that if she can't find me, just to ask the hostesses, and they'll point her in the right direction. Well... she did that (ended up asking my fling, heh). She ended up finding me, and we took a seat near the door; not my first pick, to be completely honest, but it was a VERY busy night. We were laughing, being close and touching, and just having a good time. I began to notice that my fling started to appear flustered. She kept re-applying lipstick near me, would fix her hair, kept walking past me in routes that didn't make sense for her job and in my field of vision (I never broke eye contact with my date), and I would catch her looking at me. Then something weird happened...
I went to the employee room to grab my jacket, and by sheer coincidence, I saw that the guy she left with was there with her, and they were getting ready to leave. She seemed choked, from her general demeanor and tone of voice while they were both talking. As soon as I walked into the room, I said "Hello" to them and they said 'Hi' submissively, and started slowly pacing around the room, taking my sweet time trying to find my jacket. The guy had a sh*t eating grin on his face. I just ignored him. I noticed she whispered to him to stop and he did and just sat with his head down (heh, first signs of supplication). The girl just kept looking down, and the guy just sat there in silence... I left shortly after.
My questions:
1) Did I use jealousy effectively?
2) Should I wait until she contacts me first to say anything to her? Her birthday is coming up in the first week of March... should I wish her a Happy Birthday if nothing goes on by then and just restart on that note?
Personally, I like this girl, so I'm not just going to let her go - I'll let her do her thing in the meanwhile. I am gaming other girls on the side and making work on POF.
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