Hi guys, I have sort of ruined my chances with a girl who I've known for about 9 years (in and out of contact). We were supposed to get together when about 7 years ago but that ended up in me being fucked over by her which was awful and pretty much affected my attitude on dating, relationships and my general confidence ever since.

We got back in contact about a year ago and 2 days ago I finally admitted that I was really into her, although I hinted many many times she claims she had no idea. Long story short she has told me that she doesn't feel the same way and over the past few months I thought she felt something more than just friendship. We've known each other for so long and we get on amazingly and I know that me or her will ever find someone more compatible. Right now it's really racking my brain because I don't know if it's best to just walk away from the friendship and move on or stay friends with her hoping that maybe one day she changes her mind. Ideally I want to be with her but if she never changes her mind I don't know if I can handle being just friends.

I just need some advice on what to do.

This is pretty much a lost cause, unfortunately. Any chance you had to attract her was completely negated by you confessing your feelings to her so early on. And now you're waiting around for her like a little pet. She has already said that she's not interested and that's likely not going to change.

You have textbook one-itis. Look it up if you want some more details on that.

Definitely have one-itis dude, it's terrible. I don't think I went too soon, in fact I think I went too late, I waited a year to tell her how I felt. Is there really no way to make this work? She has said she would happily forget this happened and go back to how we were before I mentioned it but she doesn't want to hurt me.

I do really appreciate you for replying by the way dude.

I think you should agree to go back to being friends or whatever, then cut contact for awhile and try to meet other women. This is to kind of "reset" things between the two of you. For now and the near future, she just wants to be friends or nothing at all. I know it sounds like a shitty situation but you'll feel so much better the minute you meet one other woman, I promise.

Thanks man I'll give it a shot, hopefully things work out for the best.