"you moved too fast"



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 Post subject: "you moved too fast"
PostPosted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:53 am 
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So i had this date from this hb 8 good girl from facebook a couple of weeks ago (excuse me for my foggy memory). it was our first date and first time really meeting. the day before she told me she just found out she had a tumor and i honestly just wanted to be there for her. i made a great impression, we both laughed alot. my game was on point during that whole meal. she had alot of fun and expressed she didn't wanna part ways so i suggested we go see a movie.

lots of flirting, no need for escalating because she was a good girl. my only kino was rubbing her back.

got inside the theatre and got comfortable, she immediately half-layed-down and curled up on my shoulder. the movie started and all was good. i had told her in the past i was a skilled masseuse and she had told me she loved massages so...

escalation: when she started rubbing my chest i decided it was a good time to start rubbing her back, my hand occasionally wandered to her upper butt and i massaged that periodically. things kept escalating. when she sat up to fix herself i asked "would it be awkward if i kissed you?" - "no" and i did. she apparently didn't wanna make out cause she curled back up on my chest. she was tracing her fingers along my leg so i did the same up to the point of her inner thigh. my massages resumed and i focused more primarily on her butt, she didn't stop me. she put her hand underneath my shirt and traced her nails along my abs and chest - i got chills. it was around this time(around 3/5 through the movie) that hand started creeping closer to her pussy from behind. her hands kept wandering along my body.

she was cold so i covered her with my coat. i went back to massaging her ass. i finally lightly brushed against her pussy through her spandex leggings - no reaction. i teased her by rubbing her inner thighs a little bit and then i finally rubbed it slowly. and then as i felt she was wet my movements got more rapid and i rubbed her clit fast. she stopped me for a minute. i went a lot softer and started rubbing her clit very slowly. i started going fast again and grabbed my hand and stopped me but only for a second. my hand wandered back there and rubbed it slowly. tried to move her panties to the side so i could maybe stick some spandex in there. she stopped me for a second. i rubbed her clit for a minute before she whispered "stop". so i finally did. kissed her again. thought everything was okay. played with her tits - her hand still on my thigh. that's pretty much what happened.

the movie ended and we left. she seemed distant so i asked "that wasn't too much for you was it?" - she was pretty quiet "idk... there was a lot of people around" - she didn't wanna hold my hand and something definitely seemed wrong when we talked. as we got closer to her car i asked "how did you feel about what happened in there" - "idk im a christian and wanna save myself for marriage and that was sorta too fast... i gotta go"

she texted me afterwards (i don't remember much of what was said here because it was a while ago)

"that was way too much for me and i don't think i can date someone that moves that fast"

I asked if i could explain myself before i started. I pretty much told her i liked her, I got horny and lost control as things escalated. i told her that her rubbing my body turned me on and that i misread her signs, i thought that's what she wanted and i thought she was liking it.

she told me of course she liked it but said she's not that kind of girl and that she was uncomfortable.

i told her i'm not the kind of guy that just wants sex, i told her i was willing to wait and it wouldn't happen again. i told her that i was sorry and idk how that happened. i asked for a second chance

she said she needed to think about it.

i haven't talked to or seen her since. this was two weeks ago.

how long should i wait and how do you think i should handle this situation?

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 Post subject: Re: "you moved too fast"
PostPosted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 8:46 pm 
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Hey man I was in the exact same boat only with sexting. She basically said she didn't feel we were compatible so I agreed with her basically said if that's your decision I respect that and I'm not gonna try and change your mind. As soon as I said that she came back to me then we were talking some more she was hinting she would like to go out so I said I like talking to you I think you're a cool girl however I don't want you to feel uncomfortable so I'm gonna leave it up to you as far as where we go from here. BAM she was all for going out not only that she set up the date.
The most powerful thing there was showing her I could just walk away.

Anyway that was my situation hopefully you can take something out of it. With your situation I'm gonna say back pedal build comfort. Nothing sexual just have normal convo's. And pretend like it didn't happen.what I would suggest is text her normally I'd say call, but she may not answer until you've built some comfort just say hey haven't talked for a while. What's new and exciting in your world? And build as much comfort as possible then move forward. You can do it man good luck!!


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 Post subject: Re: "you moved too fast"
PostPosted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 10:41 pm 
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Honestly, would you wait for marriage with this girl? What are your intentions? Shes obviously ok rubbing, but 'scared' of those sexual feelings. Its the way christians are raised. They want to, but their told its not ok.

Personally, I think its just a shields, have a christian girl on my hands as well. Build as much comfort as possible and confidently lead when it comes time to make your move.

As for what to do now, follow the rule. Two steps forward, one step back. Bring it back to that dinner vibe, build some more comfort and this time make your decisions more romantically

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Last edited by .Sage. on Fri Feb 07, 2014 10:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: "you moved too fast"
PostPosted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 10:44 pm 
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P.s, she was probably already skeptical about meeting on facebook, a major comfort killer.

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 Post subject: Re: "you moved too fast"
PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:39 am 
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I'm surprised to read this on the forums. I'm sure most people on here avoid movie theater on the first date.
Typically, if there is something that's wrong, your best bet is to change the subject and distract. This is true for unwelcome kino, a bad opening, et cetera. So focusing and talking about what happened makes it so much more of a big deal.
"I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think you could handle it. Be a big girl."


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 Post subject: Re: "you moved too fast"
PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:00 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2011 5:37 am
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Would i wait for marriage? Mayyybe, I think she might be wifey material - still don't know her well enough yet. She is not a virgin and she's never been married. I won't ask her to do anything she doesn't want to do but I have faith there is room for compromise with her in this category. I think she might just wanna be in a serious committed relationship before she let's someone into her 'temple'. While I do love sex to no end I do want to find love and I do want to settle down and maybe she's the one, you never know.

Two steps forward one step back? Sounds good, I really enjoyed our breakfast date so I'll try to contact her this weekend and see if we can't arrange something. Should I suggest we hang out as just friends so I can take a big step back and work my way back eventually? When I call her she's gonna be deciding if she wants anything to do with me so the less pressure, the better.

ChimeranPanda: Yeah the movies aren't my preferred first date idea but it was literally right across the street from the movie theater and it was convenient.

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