So many excuses as to why guys aren't doing something. The girl didn't want to, it wasn't the right time, the circumstances hindered me, her friends didn't want her to leave, I got cockblocked...

Be a problem solver. A lot of "Pickup" is problem solving. Do you want this girl? If you do solve these problems. If you've got a girl talking to you and you're feeling each other out physically, she's staying, she's investing, then there should be no reason for you not to make a move. And with a move I mean any move whatever that may be.

Whilst I don't advocate a lot of Julien's methods and surface attitudes, one thing he does well is problem solve. Watch some of his videos and you'll see.

Pacing and leading is great in problem solving. Pacing and leading means you go with her flow, then take over the flow and redirect it. Something like this:

Traveler: Come with me to the terrace.

Girl: It's really cold, I'm gonna freeze.

Traveler Wrong answer: It's not that cold don't worry.

Traveler Right answer: I know you're right it's freezing. So we'll only stay out there for two minutes. I hate the cold.



Pacing and leading is great. Unless she flakes last minute this is how a text conversation went right now:

Traveler: Hey, tonight Leicester Square at 8

(2 hours later)

Her: Hey, not sure if you saw but tonight the tubes are striking and there's not service to central London just saw it on the tfl website...

(1.5 hours later)

Traveler: Hey, you're right, I saw that too. The tube runs til 9.30 and after that there's a part closure. We can go to Victoria after that and catch the trains from there

Her: You're right then till later. We meeting at Leicester Square station?



Boom. I purposely structured my text that way. At first I thought this girl wanted to flake, but no, there is a legitimate tube closure. So either I could have rescheduled (not good, the sooner you see her the better) or come up with a solution. Notice how I say she's right at first and then offer a solution, instead of trying to convince her to come out anyway, which would have resulted in a no. Girls want you to problem solve for them, you have to lead, but also pace at first.

Pacing shows you are EMPATHETIC with her, you understand her. If you do not pace you are coming across as stubborn, needy, and trying to convince. "Come out!" "It's cold!" "Lol it's only 1 degrees, not that cold!" "Erm no thanks..."

Stop making excuses, start solving problems.

very good point!

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Very good perspective and good point on using "You're right" to then get someone agreeing with you and follow you.

Not quite the same but I had the privilege of working along side a great leader, at executive level, and this guy is really DHV. Very successful at what he does. During meetings whenever he is making an important point he'd always add "Right?" and nod his head in a positive way. You just couldn't not agree with his opinion.

I just want to point out that "pacing and leading" is actually an NLP-technique that is about mirroring someone else's body language, tonality, tempo and whatnot in order to build rapport. Agreeing with someone is not really what is meant by "pacing", but it is still a well known rhetorical technique to make someone feel understood. It is used in politics to connect to the voters, by nurses to connect to the patient etc. But be careful and don't use phrases like "I understand" if you don't.

You can "pace" in text by mirroring her choice of words and the way she express herself, just like she did when she responded to your question about meeting at Leicester Square with "hey".

Great thread buddy. If she doesn't give you a blunt "no" then there is always room to solve and move things forward. Fuck it, even many times a no can turn into a yes. If you keep solving all the excuses she comes up with you will finally get to a place where she has no comeback and she will just go with it. Normally, those excuses are mostly at the beginning stages but they will still pop up from time to time. It's all about persisting, problem solving, and leading things.

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Good shit.

This probably answers half the questions guys have on here, mine included.