If you're getting better behavior from the takeaway, then that's how it should work. If not, then it's NOT working. It always works for me though but NOT 100%; just most of the time.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

The next time i agree to hang with her after being less available ect., do i say something like when you said things like blah blah and did things like blah blah, you push me away. OR do i act like nothing happened and be subtle because we already addressed said issues and now she sees how my behavior changed due to them

Lionheart, you're in a relationship where both of you play games with each other. From this and your other posts, you tell her stuff to get her jealous or to respect you or something, and she says things to bring you down. This is unhealthy and both of you feed it. Both of you are messed up (and I mean no disrespect) if neither of you have gotten tired of these games. So do the hot/cold adversarial relationship thing. But this is not a game you want to really keep playing. Because when you keep trying to one up her and trying to get her jealous, the resentment will start, she'll start keeping her options open if she hasn't already and be fucking those options. If you play one-up with her, what is she going to do to beat you?

You've already said your girl is immature. Call me crazy but I don't date immature girls. And if I was crazy enough to date her, I won't be trying to get her jealous or play this tit for tat thing. Trust me, the immature type who plays games with her bf is the easiest girl to fuck. When you're freezing her out, she's texting me to take her mind off of it. After sex, she's telling me what a jerk you are and how you're probably sleeping around too. When I get dressed and leave, I'm laughing at the guy who would date a childish chick in the first place and then play games with her.

Disrespect for me these days is a near instant next. I'll call them out on their shit once, maybe twice, but after that I'll look for a replacement. No date is so important that they are worth putting up with disrespect.

Lionheart, take heed. Neo says things the way things are but he's damn accurate. When I see a post from Neo at the Relationship section, I almost always read and just lurk around.

When guys like Neo give you relationship advice, listen and listen up good. Sometimes those advices are hard to swallow but it's the best medicine to take. He doesn't do any mystical b.s. He just tells it the way it is.

He is SELDOM wrong.

(Just thinking about it, I can't remember one particular instance when he said something wrong that did not fit my reference experiences.)

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Ok guys. So its a no go on the takeaway because shell resent me. I get it. Ive also had the talk about childish behavior with her and we came to an agreement. But how do i stop her disrespectful comments after calling her out already? Since calling her out she hasnt said anything disrespectful. But look at what hellhound said. Girls are emotional creatures who need to see your actions to feel inclined to change. How can i show action if neo is concerned that shell get resentful and cheat? Should i just leave it at the talk and thats it and leave her for good if it happens anymore

And please dont just say drop her! I feel like i wasnt dominant enough early on to get her to stop seeking attention, aka i ignored and dismissed her jealousy tactics or encouraged them with my own. Now im in a spot where i need to show my seriousness on the matter but i cant since her main problem with me even prior to me calling her out was that i dont compliment or talk to her enough. So if i enforce what i said with a takeaway then she might see her needs as not addressed

Thanks for the props HH

Lionheart, you talk to your gf about stuff that bothers you then you go on and do stuff to make her jealous. Tbh I can't tell if you're gf is a bitch or if you just mess with her that much to make her speak to you like that. I can tell that you tell her often about other girls. That's one thing that has stuck out in your posts. So you tell her abt girls to make her jealous, she resents you and tries to bring you down, you talk to her about her bringing you down, then you tell her another story about a girl hitting on you, then she brings you down and it continues. I seriously read of 3 different instances where you're talking to her abt some girl hitting on you or messing with you in the past. I get it, you're insecure and you want to "keep her attracted."

As HH said, girls need to see your actions. But are your actions changing? On of your first posts about this girl was about you punishing her and now, threads later, you're still punishing her. I know you're not going to leave this relationship (you rather delete your posts so others can't see) so only advice I can give is if you want respect, treat her with respect. It's disrespectful to tell a partner all the time how much people want you.

HH's advice is good, but he's missing from your previous threads that you genuinely can't walk away from this girl. He's coming to you as a man who is willing to walk away himself if he's being disrespected, assuming you have the same standards for yourself when you don't. It's obvious you don't want a good relationship; you want a relationship with THIS girl, good or bad, nice or rude, happy or unhappy.

So in essesnce if i still want this girl, which i do because i feel like ive also been that way to her unfairly, just change my ways

I think Neo was referring to the jealousy pingpong you play with her. She makes you jealous so you make her jealous. If you do things repeatedly several times, it gets stale.

It's classical conditioning versus operant conditioning. If you want to modify behavior into something more positive without resentment, then there are good ways to do it.

Think of toilet training. When I'm traveling far and I'm in the middle of a sugar cane field and I feel like taking a shit (literally), it really feels damn uncomfortable taking shit among the tall grasses. I prefer the toilet. At this point in my life, I don't feel any resentment towards my parents for training me on how to use the toilet.

As for the takeaway, I seldom do it BUT when I do the takeaway for a specific girl, she feels like taking shit in a sugar cane field versus taking shit on a clean and nice toilet bowl. In short, if you gave her enough fun and excitement that she'll likely miss when you do the takeaway, then it's all good.

But if you condition her more towards negative, non-fun things, she'll let you go.

P.S.

I've just read Neo's post above. I defer to him in this case. He understands your case better than I do.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

We have a ton of fun together and she was freaking out when i did something out of the norm but at the same time we have the issues that neo spoke of. She will miss me for sure but also she might take it as harsh since ive disrespected her in the past too. Maybe the talk about changing our ways was good enough combined with my actions changing, and in turn hers will

1. Don't want a relationship with her. Want a good healthy positive relationship. If it's with her fine, if she can't fulfill that need find another girl.
2. Meet and talk to her. Ask her what you do that pisses her off and affects her. Listen, apologize if your sincerly sorry and work on not doing those things. Say "I know I sometimes talk about other chicks I'm going to stop that. It can't make you feel good to hear that."
3. Tell her what your problems are. Like "I really dislike when you put me down. I need someone who is supportive in a relationship. Your jokes are funny but it's not the type of rs I want to be in. If you need to put down someone all the time, maybe another guy would be better." Note: don't give ultimatums. These are simply facts. If she wants a rs where people are rude to each other and you don't you 2 are incompatible. Don't take it personally
People are different and want different things in a relationship. Some people want to be loved and feel appreciated; some want a relationship to be the center of their lives, some want drama filled relationships. A relationship is a trial for long term compatibility. Don't take it personally. If she wants an adverserial relationship and you do, fine. If you don't, best find someone else.
4. Stay true to your words and don't do the things that hurt her and she should do the same. If she can't, find someone you're better off being with.