Heya, I just got to this forum courtesy of Neil Strauss.

I met this girl eighteen months ago.

She is 2 years older to me.

When I met her I was pretty much a kid, chubby, shorter, less smarter, not a bit as strong.

She said 'be friends' then.

Over the course of ten months however I lost a lot of weight (she said she liked lean guys), gained height, improved my looks, became way stronger and smarter.

I believed I would forget her if I got other women, which I did in college... However, I couldn't and often I used to get melancholy moods after thinking of her...

The thing is I have had a bad childhood filled with being stuck in a lowly enviornment with bad health which is completely contrary to hers and that keeps on getting in my head. Y'know, the blame game where you blame everything from old friends to genes to parents.

I told the girl I love her six months back, of course no succesful result. Now over the time I've gotten much stronger, leaner and pretty much over her in terms of love but I feel defeated or hurt or plainly cheated by fate at times.

Now I've told her that I'll meet her at June 2008, I am of course working out at my best, looking better, feeling better but I still see it as nearly mission impossible.

So tell me, what tricks should I apply, what is the light here? I know 'give it up' is a liable reply 'first impression' 'she sees you as a friend' but I want to try my best, so tell me what should I do, don't say the negative stuff just give me your suggestions please

-Regards,
The Wolf

_________________
\m/

The Wolves are here.

There is not really any 'tricks' you can do to make her attracted to you. The working out and getting lean will be your best bet. But you have already given her control in the situation by telling her you love her. Its probably time to move on. If she has any intrest in you, she will show it the next time you see her.

sure but my question is what will make her unable to resist me?

She is like:
Subtle, cute, into lean guys, into guys like Jhonny Depp, into japanese, rock music, likes getting drunk once in a while, pretty smart.

Now what should I morph into to make her think of me as the best guy alive?

Any tips in terms of clothing, speech, body language, insight, theory are appreciated.

_________________
\m/

The Wolves are here.

First of all so I don't sound like a total prick, allow me to share my experience.

I only ever loved one girl. We were together for a year and went through a lot together. She broke up with me one day out of the blue and I found out a few days later from a work colleague that she had a new boyfriend. I broke down and had to go home. They wouldn't let me drive so I was bundled into a taxi and sent on my way.

I chased her for a year after we split up, in the hopes of getting her back. I was a total AFC - I went to see her when she needed comforting because she was having a hard time with her boyfriend or whatever. I met up with her to go clubbing one night and he showed up, so I had to watch them hold hands. Kiss. Dance together. She looked me in the eyes while he kissed her and it was the single most hurtful thing I have ever experienced. Still, I pursued her. "Maybe when they break up", I thought.

I thought wrong. No bonus points if you guessed that right, huh?

She's engaged now, the man she's with is far more successful than me and provides for her better than I ever could. She seems happy. However, all the things she said about me, she says about him. The marriage is obviously gonna fail, but I'm not gonna save her any heartache by telling her that. Why would I? It's none of my business.

There is a point to me telling you this. This was a girl who loved me, who wanted to be with me forever, who wanted a house and kids with me. You haven't even been on a date with this girl. If I didn't have a chance to get mine back, what do you think your chances are? Fair enough, you can try. And I urge to to do so, but not in the way you've been doing it so far. If you confessed your love to her when you haven't had any kind of real relationship your chances are very, very, very fucking slim. I'm sorry to say this and I don't mean to bring you down but everyone here is thinking the same thing.

Learn.

I mean it. Learn. I hate to see any man in this state so you need to read this and get it firmly in your head. Embed it in your persona. The truth hurts but not as much as what she'll do to you for the years to come if you keep acting the way you are. Got it? Let's continue.

Lesson one: Nomatter how good you make yourself look, nomatter how long you spend improving your physique, 90% of it is in your mind, the way you carry yourself, the way you are seen by others. These are the things you must improve upon to gain a true advantage and get what you want from her. This is gonna be hard as hell because you told her you loved her and that has given her total control - keep acting the way you're acting and all she will do is use you for money or whatever else you have going for you.

Lesson two: She will not sleep with you nomatter how much you hang around her and buy her shit and tell her you love her. You are feeding her ego. BAD! The longer you do all these things and succumb to her the more control she has, and all the while she's having relationships with other men. You should know not to take that kind of shit from a woman. If a girl treats me like that, I don't give a fuck who she is, I'll just leave her to it - seriously, what's so special about her anyway? Does she shit diamonds? Maybe when she starts shitting diamonds I'll get back to her.

Lesson three: Women want what they can't have. Read that again. And again. Think of the cat-string theory. She has you on a string, dangling in front of her, she can have you if she wants and she knows she can... and that, my friend, is exactly why she doesn't want you. It's too easy! You're just dangling there and nomatter how pretty you are she doesn't want to play with you because you're not ALIVE.

I made a big mistake with that one girl, and it's one I will make sure to never repeat. Don't fucking EVER chase a woman. Ever. No exceptions. None. Make her chase you. Tell her you don't give a shit about her anymore and let her see the other women you have in your life. Don't brag about it though, that's tryhard. Be modest, nonchalant. Tell her you're not coming to see her. For your situation, only go to see her if she asks you to.

Trust me here, she won't automatically start thinking differently about you and start begging you to come see her cos it doesn't work like that, but give her time and she might just change her tune. Tell her you're not gonna contact her again, and stay true to your word. If she contacts you and asks why you haven't called or whatever tell her it's cos you told her you wouldn't. It will be at that point that she may start wondering about you but don't get excited about it or she'll see it's a trick and you'll blow it.

That's all you need to do for now. Questions?

So what you are saying is:

a.) Boost my ego
b.) Be non responsive to her
c.) Let myself not be there for her to value me

cool, I'll remember

any other recommendations?

_________________
\m/

The Wolves are here.

Pretty much. That's all you need to do for now really, on the offchance that you ignore her and she doesn't contact you then it means she honestly doesn't care what you do and that means there's no hope whatsoever. If that's the case, you don't wanna have that sort of girl in your life anyway. Believe me, I know it seems like the hardest thnig in the world to do but in the long run you're gonna be much better off without her. Unless she starts shitting diamonds, that is.

Dalziel, good response.

Dalziel you know your stuff.

Harsh story bout ya ex, something similar happened to me.

I'm now a recovering AFC.

N-Dangerous, welcome to the forum.

Cheers dude.