Hi all. I'm new to this so I don't know if I put this in the right board - feel free to move it if needs be!

So met a girl, she lives in one city, I live in the other. All seemed to be going well at first - I played it cool, she seemed keen. Told me I was her 'favourite person', etc. We met up four times, and seemed to have a good time. I thought all was going well, though did find her perhaps a little distant at times. Took her out for dinner, etc., spent a small fortune on her (though not in an obvious way) and before our last meet, she messaged me to the effect of 'you're kind, thoughtful, good looking, have a good job, there must be a catch!' and seemed keen.

Then I went up to her home city to meet her. I stayed in a hotel and on the first night, she announced she wouldn't be staying and would be going home that night. I thought this was weird but anyway, she brought her stuff and stayed over the next couple of nights. I met her friends, we seemed to have a good time.

I got the train back on the Sunday and all of a sudden she messaged me with words to the effect of 'I'm sorry if I seem distant, I'm just not sure what I want just now. I will sleep on it.'

I was actually gutted and told her so. The next day she messaged me saying she was just confused and it was nothing I'd done, it was her. She then took a 3 week holiday.

I'm not sure where I've gone wrong here... she went from adoring me to wanting to be away from me in the space of about 2 hours! Can anyone help?

I've messaged her more than I should (IDIOT) but do you think there's any way of getting her back?

My thoughts are basically give her time, don't pester her, and show her I'm having a great time (via FB) by being out with friends, generally loving life - and of course a few photos with other girls wouldn't help.

Despite everything, she says she feels we have a connection and we event spent a good few hours each night (after her 'I need time' message) txting. She said she felt sad but didn't know why.

I'm losing my mind here, I'd desperately like to see her again and can't stop thinking about her!

Go and take a really cold shower, figuratively speaking. You need to be able to let her go, because you seem to be on the track of becoming a little bit needy here. So yes, go out with your friends, meet other women and have a fun time. The only thing you can and should do is to give her time. If you don't chase her the chances are higher that she will come back to you.

There must be something you didn't do right, I don't know what. Maybe you are not dominant enough, or something. Only you (and her) can tell. Check out the following link and see if there is something you can improve:

http://www.traitsofthealphamale.com/77/ ... lpha-male/

Grab your balls and slam them on the table.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Thanks for your replies; both good advice! And thanks for the link. I'm not entirely sure what happened there but my brain completely broke!

Needless to say, I said nothing until she messaged me saying "hi". After the usual pleasantries, I announced that I meant what I said to her but had started to see another girl and I hoped we could remain friends. She said something to the effect of "oh great, I'm sure you'll make her very happy". Earlier tonight she messaged me saying "What's your lady friend's name?", I replied with a generic name and she replied "That's a stupid name!".

I have much to learn from this forum, I'm looking forward to it!

You spent so much money and time investing in her when she didn't invest in you; this made it seem like you were needy and doing the all the chasing from the get-go. Keep doing what you're doing now, see other girls and try to reframe the situation to get her to chase you. Good luck!

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You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Absolutely right. I played it well at the beginning but then came across as a walk over! She's a model, too - so is even more used to lots of attention!

Cheers for the advice mate.