Leave her better than before..?



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:17 am 
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I have to admit, this is something I used to hardly think about, but I've decided this should really bother me. Once you've managed achieve all that you want from a particular target (the f-close or whatever your objective was) how do you then go on to leave her better than when you found her? "Leave" being the operative word. My policy has tended to be to behave pleasantly towards the former target whilst being careful not to display any further interest. This inevitably leads to hurt feelings in some cases, plus I feel pretty pathetic behaving this way.

Basically, what do you do when she starts texting?

(I'm not declaring myself some kind of heartbreaking stud here, but you know how it can be.)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:51 am 
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Funny you mention this. I was having quite the same dilemma earlier today while thinking. As an artist your goals differ but your ultimate goal is to sleep with her. How do you sleep with someone and then brush them off while leaving her better than she was. I do believe in this idea a lot, but how is it possible to accomplish?

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:51 pm 
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That, my friends, is a paradox that has riddled the pick-up community for centuries. . .

If she is under the impression that y'all were "meant to be together", and she slept with you for a reason other than just sex(you know. . .a relationship?), then how does a PUA leave her in a better state of mind?

Physically, she is satisfied. But emotionally, she is unsatisfied. Here is where the Paradox comes into play. . .


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:03 am 
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That, my friends, is a paradox that has riddled the pick-up community for centuries. . .

If she is under the impression that y'all were "meant to be together", and she slept with you for a reason other than just sex(you know. . .a relationship?), then how does a PUA leave her in a better state of mind?

Physically, she is satisfied. But emotionally, she is unsatisfied. Here is where the Paradox comes into play. . .
Precisely.

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Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:12 am 
First, and most important, is to NOT lead her on to think that you are looking for something "serious". Be upfront with her BEFORE you have sex. Always, always, let the girl know that you are NOT looking for a commitment. If you don't want to do that because you figure she won't have sex with you then . . . you need to change your strategy. Or the venue of pickup.

If all you're looking for is ONS's, then you are simply going to have to deal with the fact that NOT every girl wants that. So, you are either a jerk that gives the rest of us a bad name, OR you give up sex with someone you really want, because you can't be honest with them.

If you're looking for FB's, there are A LOT of girls that ARE interested in that.

So, again, be upfront with them BEFORE you have sex. So they have no false expectations.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:22 am 
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The way i looked at and accepted it is that she learns a lesson from being played. The only way to learn that lesson is the hard way and everyone is jaded somewhere along the line as cynacle as that sounds. It kinda slimy but thats the only way someone knows how to avoid a shitty relationship. No wonder there are so many women with intamacy and trust issues. Another way i can see it is that she should at least be happy that she ever met you.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:52 am 
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The way i looked at and accepted it is that she learns a lesson from being played. The only way to learn that lesson is the hard way and everyone is jaded somewhere along the line as cynacle as that sounds. It kinda slimy but thats the only way someone knows how to avoid a shitty relationship. No wonder there are so many women with intamacy and trust issues. Another way i can see it is that she should at least be happy that she ever met you.
She learns a lesson from being played when she's picked up by you. I see. So, in other words, you're one of those guys that give the rest of us a bad name. How sad.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:33 am 
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The way i looked at and accepted it is that she learns a lesson from being played. The only way to learn that lesson is the hard way and everyone is jaded somewhere along the line as cynacle as that sounds. It kinda slimy but thats the only way someone knows how to avoid a shitty relationship. No wonder there are so many women with intamacy and trust issues. Another way i can see it is that she should at least be happy that she ever met you.
Why do you need two ways of looking at it? Just in case one rationalization fails to do the trick? This is one of the most fucked up things I've read in awhile. Why do women need any help being jaded?

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:37 pm 
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So have we established that the only way of ensuring you don't end up doing any damage is to make your intentions clear to the target (at the risk of losing her)?


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:46 pm 
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So have we established that the only way of ensuring you don't end up doing any damage is to make your intentions clear to the target (at the risk of losing her)?

Yep,I would have to agree with your conclusion. Then she knows what to expect. You don't have to do anything extra special. And when you leave she knows that it's over.

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Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:59 pm 
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So have we established that the only way of ensuring you don't end up doing any damage is to make your intentions clear to the target (at the risk of losing her)?
There you go. Is that so hard?


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:18 am 
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There you go. Is that so hard?
Nope, it is a bummer though. If only there was some kind of remedy you could apply afterwards... That would be quite the discovery.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:27 am 
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There you go. Is that so hard?
Nope, it is a bummer though. If only there was some kind of remedy you could apply afterwards... That would be quite the discovery.
Actually man, here's a secret. When you're not afraid to lose a girl, you're more likely to not lose her. Not saying that's what will happen in this case, but in general, that's how it works.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:38 am 
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She learns a lesson from being played when she's picked up by you. I see. So, in other words, you're one of those guys that give the rest of us a bad name. How sad.

Whoa man wtf. You severely misinterpereted what i said. I said "played" not "picked up". I am refering to the scenario that you are ultimately using her for sex. I am not a player and am not considered one by anyone to the best of my knowlege. I just know that i dated some heartbreakers in my day and thru all the pain it am glad i met her cuz i taght me some life lessons. These things are an important part of handling future relationships.
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Why do you need two ways of looking at it? Just in case one rationalization fails to do the trick? This is one of the most fucked up things I've read in awhile. Why do women need any help being jaded?
You too have took what i wrote out of context. Why would they need help? They wouldnt cuz like i said its a part of life for most people. youre just straight attacking me asshole. Get on with with that shit and go self improve.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:21 pm 
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Quote:
She learns a lesson from being played when she's picked up by you. I see. So, in other words, you're one of those guys that give the rest of us a bad name. How sad.

Whoa man wtf. You severely misinterpereted what i said. I said "played" not "picked up". I am refering to the scenario that you are ultimately using her for sex. I am not a player and am not considered one by anyone to the best of my knowlege. I just know that i dated some heartbreakers in my day and thru all the pain it am glad i met her cuz i taght me some life lessons. These things are an important part of handling future relationships.
Quote:
Why do you need two ways of looking at it? Just in case one rationalization fails to do the trick? This is one of the most fucked up things I've read in awhile. Why do women need any help being jaded?
You too have took what i wrote out of context. Why would they need help? They wouldnt cuz like i said its a part of life for most people. youre just straight attacking me asshole. Get on with with that shit and go self improve.
We're taking you out of context? Maybe the problem is you don't have any idea how what you said really came across. If it was one person that took you that way, I could say, they were taking you out of context. But since it's more than one person, more than likely it's how you came across. Which just means that you need to watch how you come across to people, that's all.

Honestly, I don't see how we took anything out of context. We just read the words straight from the page.


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