To begin with, this probably long, but you will probably enjoy reading this, its a good story to read, pretty bad to experience lol so here it goes, any help is appreciated.

I met this girl through an online dating site which I joined out of boredom, apparently she did the same. She messaged with me with a “smile” and initiated first contact. After talking for a day, she gave me her number. She seemed pretty interested. So we texted for a few days and got to know each other pretty well. She would text me every morning with a “smile” and “good morning” and ask me what I was up to. So we got to know each other further and found some things in common. After about 4 days of consistent texting, she said she wanted to see me before I went back to school. (Which is about 40 mins away. We live about 15 mins apart from each other.) She told me she liked Japanese, so I suggested sushi and she suggested Tuesday, but I agree and don’t give her a time until Sunday night. She asked to move it up by an hour and I say it’s cool. So we text here and there until Tuesday. She seemed pretty excited

So here comes Tuesday night, she texts me asking me if we’re still good for the night. I say yea and we end up meeting. I show up 10 mins late, and she asks me to meet her by the door. So I go up to the door and go in for her a hug, which may have felt awkward. We walk in and get seated. We talk a little and comment on the restaurant for little. Then order, and talk a little. She seemed a little nervous as she was rubbing her arms and wrist. My anxiety starts kicking in. I become pretty nervous. I kept looking around the restaurant. She pretty much asked me most questions. I basically answered and returned the question. I told her eating would be a challenge as chop sticks were not my thing. She tried teaching me, and we made a jokes and laughed here and there. I felt pretty beta though which sucked. As I’m not normally like that.

So after we eat I ask her if she’s doing anything later that night, and suggest we go see a movie. She told me if I wanted to, sure. So check comes, she fiddles through her purse and I tell her I got, and pay. I tell her to let me drive her, and that I would drop her back off at her car. And she agrees. She asks me a questions during the drive. I act like I don’t know where I’m going, and ask her for directions. I end up hitting like 100mph, as she told she liked speed earlier.

So once we got to the movies. We hadn’t really noticed that we forgot the movie times. We planned on watching wolf of wall street, but settled for the hobbit, since the timing was more convenient. She noted she liked the smell of popcorn, so I suggest to buy her popcorn and a drink, she kind of says she didn’t really want any. I told her I’ll bring the smell to the movie. She commented on the high prices too. So we get to the movie, and there’s no one there for like 20 mins. We comment on the trailers and talk for a little. Then a few guys show up.

So then the movie starts, and our conversation dies down, BUT I realized a few signs I guess. I went to the bathroom like 3 times, as I had a pre-workout earlier in the day and the diuretic kicked in. So at first she seemed a little nervous during the movie, and began to get a little comfortable. After the first bathroom visit, I sat for a little, and realized that she moved her hair away from neck, almost like a way for me to look at her. I also noticed she looked my way a few times, stealing glances. Second bathroom visit when I came back she had her arms crossed, but took a glance or two at me, after the third bathroom visit, I came back and seemed like she got very comfortable, with her feet up. Later on she tells me her butt hurts. Every time I looked at her she would look at me quickly. So movie ends, and we walk down back to my car.

I wait for my car to defog and warm up for a little. We talk a little in the car. She asks me about when I have to go back to school. And I tell her towards the end of the week. She looks at me while talking to me during the drive. I get to her car, and AMY ANXIETY SKYROCKETS. After I park the car, she looks at me and says she had a good time, but it sucks that I have to go back to school. She pauses for a little. I try to avoid eye contact, and she goes in all the way across my car for a kiss on the cheek, and tells me shed text me. As she walks out I look outside my window. Wit a moment till she gets to her car, and put my car in reverse and go pretty fast.

I feel like she must have felt rejected. As I was pretty dry and a nervous wreck inside, I didn’t really show it I guess, but not sure. Was she interested? What did the kiss mean? What should I do to recover from this?

I really want to learn from this experience, so if anyone can break down the date into what each thing really meant it’d be great.

Hey man. You did fairly well, taking everything into account. However there are a few things you could fix:

-Try getting more comfortable with physical contact. Touching a girl is paramount to showing interest, more than words could ever convey. But it also works with friends. Giving them a pat on the back or anything really goes a long way.

-I'm sure you've found that you didn't have much to say at first when you first meet someone. Practice telling a couple good stories or just making little speeches in the mirror. The more true they are the better, so long as you tell them in an interesting way.

-Movie dates are usually for the second or third dates. They minimize face time and they kill conversations. Of course, there are exceptions like shitty movies in the dollar theater. In those cases you can take a first date and make silly/witty comments about the movie to your date.

-Don't pay for the entire date. It makes you look weak. Make it more of a bargaining thing. Tell her that since you paid for dinner she should pay for the movie. I know that sounds like you're being cheap, but a relationship should be based on mutual giving.

-Don't wait for the end of a date to kiss a girl. That's boring and cliche. Just go for it. Then tell her that, "You just wanted to kiss her." However, in the case that she turns her head to give you the cheek just say something dryly like, "Way to ruin a moment."

_________________
The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Hello!

This girl seems pretty interested in you. The fact that she's looking at you while you're watching a movie is a strong IOI(indicator of interest) from my perspective, like she wants your attention. There's a bunch more IOI's as well. When you get signs of interest like these from girls you are pretty much good to go if you act smoothly to set up a kiss.

I can relate to you very well because i also have a degree of social anxiety. It's been improved but i get this anxiousness sometimes in the weirdest places. Like just eating dinner at a restaurant with a girl i sometimes feel like i gotta puke, and also in the movie theater. I'm a lot better than i was, but i can tell you it didn't help my game. I had to get over it little by little.

Back to this girl. I wouldn't say that you blew it on the date. You say you were avoiding eye contact and doing some other minor stuff that might have blown off certain girls, but seeing as she took the initiative to kiss you like that you are probably fine. If you meet again, try to act more on your feelings and don't get shaken down by your anxiety - take a deep breath and realize that you are in a comfortable and calm situation where nothing is really required of you. Talk to her, don't just reply. Joke around. Touch her, it's natural.

Good luck

-I do have to work on the physical contact aspect, I usually wait for a girl to initiate physical contact, then I get pretty comfortable doing. Which I shouldn't be doing.
I just felt like I wasnt myself, I usually make a move on girls that Ive seen a few times. I guess I have to make a move the first time I see them, or else it'll be lost. Thanks for the advice.

-I will definitely work on my conversational skills.

-Well she seemed pretty nervous, so my thought was that if we sat together for a few hours, she'd warm up to me, which she did. However didn't work out so well for me, haha

-Well I saw that she took initiative to pay, so I thought that was enough for me to pay for most of it. Plus I drive a benz, so I thought it wouldn't look so well, but I guess you're right, especially on a first date, where nothing is really guaranteed.

-I was just really nervous I guess. I wanted to go for it during the movie, my balls disappeared though. I've never really done something like this before. Meeting a girl randomly. I usually meet girls at parties or through friends. But I feel like if get over my anxiety of meeting random girls, it would probably be a better experience with no attachments.

What do you think I should do, if she feels completely rejected do you think she'll contact me?
Should I apologize for being pretty dry, or should I just tell her Im interested and would like to do it again?
Basically looking for a way to recover. She seems like a shy girl, so don't know what to do exactly. If I can't recover I might just let it go.
I felt like she may have been interested, my anxiety was killing though. It sucks man it really does. Honestly I was considering taking xanax for a second date, just to get a bit comfortable with her. I like her, and I think the pressure of me thinking I'll blow it with her will cause me to blow it. If it was a girl that I wasn't that interested in I'd be absolutely cocky, but I got to know her personality before actually going out with her.

I feel as if she may have felt rejected. Do you think I should contact her, even though she said she would text me?

If you lived 15 minutes away from her, why didn't you just set up a date as soon as possible? Texting someone doesn't give you the real picture. That's just how I see it anyways.

Definitely could have kissed her. If she was pushing that hard, she would have likely gone home with you or fucked you in teh car--blowjob minimum. Just something you'll have to work up to for comfort level.

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

Tbh, never really had plans of meeting her, she asked to see me. But I'll def consider that in the future, it really doesnt leave much to talk about once you meet up.
Shit man, well this sucks. I could barely sleep last night. I kept waking up thinking it was a nightmare, Then I'd realize it actually happened, and I'm just like fuck my life

Dude, first of all you gotta stop with this negative mentality. Do not talk to her and say sorry for being dry or anything like that. You werent dry, you just didnt take initiative. You went out to eat first and the mood was pretty good right? It's normal to feel a little out of sorts on the first date. No biggie.

What you need to do now is talk to her again like you would earlier, like text her or call her, whatever seems appropriate (what you were doing before u met up) and set up another date if you want to. Ask her how she's doing or what she's been up to or whatever at the same time. If she agrees (i actually think she will) you go out again. This time go do something chill where you can just hang out. I often go for walks and shit, or go bowling. Have a positive attitude and don't act like your world revolves around this girl, cause it doesnt! Take initiative.

In situations like this where you are setting up a 2nd date through text it comes down to if she is either: very interested (did well) or can go out with you again (means you did alright) or she doesnt think it's worth her time. Go with whatever answer you get and dont be mad if she says no.

I wanted to thank everyone for the advice that I was given.
I had the SHITTIEST and most negative state of mind, I gave in and texted her first after our date, with no reply from her.
THIS IS NEVER TO BE DONE BY ME AGAIN.
If she wanted me bad enough, she would've texted me the same night.
Patience is a virtue, if I waited, even for 5-6 months, she would've wondered why I didn't text her first and developed insecurities.
In reality, it was a lesson well learned, and I want to thank her.
As my state of mind is better than it has ever been.

I plan on improving my conversational and kino skills by talking to every woman I see.
Knowledge does wonders, but without application and experience it means nothing.

Thanks for the support.

Yeah, "It sucks you have to go back to school" is saying "I want to keep hanging out with you" at a minimum.

Now whether or not she'd fuck you... I'm less convinced. You both sound hella shy, and SNLs between two very shy people just doesn't really happen.

You may have been able to go back to her place(if she lives closer) and watch tv on the couch and make out or something.

_________________
RSDTyler

If you really like her then call her in about a month.

_________________
The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek