| Hey man,
Anybody can write a script, let’s make that clear.
Problem is, you don’t know how the girl is going to respond. So that is where you need to be (eventually), being able to anticipate how she will respond.
Here are what I think are the main traits of being a good conversationalist:
1. You listen – Girls love to talk. Learn to ask the right questions (try reading up on the art of interviewing and how to ask good questions…avoid it sounding like an interview of course)
2. Your knowledgable – It always helps to, for lack of a better phrase, to KNOW SHIT. This means reading books, the paper, the economist, wall street journal, high times magazine etc. The knowledge will have to be applied to girls strategically (because the violinist chick is not tryin to hear about Madlibs new interview in XXL… if she is, she might be my soulmate). Simply watching news and reading up on the issues of the world will make a big difference.
3. You’re ok with silence – What’s worse than a muted AFC is a dude that can’t keep his mouth shut. Don’t feel like you need to dominate the conversation or fill a quiet void all the time. Being comfortable in silence also gives you a mysterious mystique, thus more of an alpha male image (she’ll probably just ask YOU more questions). So then you can break the silence by asking a question or making a statement.
4. You have timing – Whether it’s the “cold steel” look you give or a joke you drop, it all works a lot better when the timing is right. Its not an exact science obviously, and it will take repitition, but when you start to get a feel for “timing” then the witty comments really resonate and make you look even more alpha.
5. You’re fun – Don’t get it twisted, looks DO matter an awful lot and is generally the difference in where you are going home that night….BUT, a woman will next a good looking boring dude for a average looking fun guy in many cases. As social dynamics dictate, when a woman walks into a club and surveys her surroundings, she is looking at “cues” of a man to determine if he’s got the alpha male characteristics she wants. This includes whether the guy is speaking AT a girl, or if a girl and her friends are talking TO HIM. When she sees a guy having “fun” (and even better, with women having fun with you), she may think that she wants to see just how fun you actually are…or she may want to spite-fuck you because she isn’t liking the other girls you are with. Whatever the case is, you need to have fun. It’s hard to fake fun, so ACTUALLY HAVE FUN!
My advice is to keep informing yourself by studying, reading and very importantly, watching.
The act of watching people that know EXACTLY what they are doing, in any subject matter, is automatic knowledge. Watch any performer/comedian/actor you like that posesses traits that you think fit your personality.
Personally, I take a lot of my game from Mr. Adam Carolla. He was on the radio show, LoveLine, for basically every year of me growing up in the 90s/2000s and what I learned from him was not necessarily the traditional alpha-male traits, but intangibles like creative self-deprecation and comedic timing. Self deprecation, when done right, is not only hilarious but shows that you have the balls to rip on yourself and laugh about it: To women, that shit is hot.
Anyways, pick some people you like and analyze the shit out of them. Figure out how you can incorporate some of the good traits these guys have and apply it to yourself. Will it work immediately? No. Like anything, success is about repetition and getting better, so keep trying it out and make sure you see what works and what doesn’t.
I know I threw a lot at you here, but the point I was trying to make was that the pre-thought-out conversation with a girl can only take you so far. If anything, hang with more female friends. If you don’t have many, make some. You don’t have to nail every single girl you meet right? The best coaching you can get is from women (by coaching, I mean just watching and listening).
Good luck man,
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CHAT